Seven Years of Marauding
by Elladora D. Jobberknoll
Summary: The Marauders, young and innocent in their first years at Hogwarts ... Not likely with this bunch of boys. They'll prank and charm their way through seven years of pure marauding! And, with Lily Evans as a rival, things are bound to be quite interesting.
1. The Beginning of an Era

**Disclaimer:** I do not own or claim to own Harry Potter, any of its wonderful and dynamic characters, items, spells, or anything you recognize in this story. It all belongs to the brilliant, COMPLETELY brilliant J.K. Rowling. I am NOT J.K. Rowling and it would highly offensive to her brilliant mind if I said I was!

**Authoress' Note-** This is my first 'posted' fanfiction so please be gentle on the first oh five or so chapters. I already know they are mostly sheer vomit, and if you can past that I'm hoping you'll think it gets better. I've done minor corrections on them and I soon may try to do a lot of fine-tuning and improvement but I just don't know if I can get them up to par without drastically changing things. (sigh) I hope you'll be able to see my effort... **E.D.J.**

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**Ch. 1- The Beginning of an Era**

Lily Evans stood staring up at the vast starry ceiling of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry's Great Hall, dazzled by its profound similarity to the true night sky.

When she'd gotten her letter for Hogwarts, she'd never thought she'd end up here: a giant castle filled with ever changing staircases, hidden passageways, and sheer mystery. Lily had assumed the letter was a hoax and hadn't given it another thought, so one could imagine her surprise when a severe-looking woman in green robes had literally appeared on her doorstep, a few weeks after she received the letter.

The woman had pretty much shown herself in and introduced herself as Professor Minerva McGonagall, Deputy Headmistress of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. The Professor had explained vastly to her family all about magic and Hogwarts, and Lily had been rattled by the truth of what she was. A witch ... magic ... The words had felt odd and exotic on her tongue and yet strangely comforting; she finally had an explanation for what her sister Petunia had defined as "that strangeness that you had better not show in front of decent people anymore."

After the general uproar of surprise and excitement that had shook the Evans's family, Professor McGonagall had taken them to buy Lily school supplies at Diagon Alley: the place where the young eleven-year-old received her first taste of the magical world she'd suddenly been cast into. Once the Professor had instructed her on the proper way to reach Platform Nine and Three-Quarters (passing through the barrier before Platforms Nine and Ten at King's Cross Station for you few Muggles who don't know) and thus the Hogwarts Express, she had disappeared again as suddenly as she had come.

Lily had thought Diagon Alley and Platform Nine and Three-Quarters were strange, but now they seemed perfectly normal compared to what she was seeing now: ghosts hovering about in mid-conversation with each other and a few older students,other nervous first-year students comparing wands and whispering of the spells they'd already learned, and once again, the still mind-boggling ceiling with its perfect resemblance to the night sky!

Lily shook her head, her thick red hair whirling. It would be a completely brilliant seven years.

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A tall thin boy with hazel eyes and very untidy black hair stood gazing out across the Great Hall. He had heard just about everything about Hogwarts from his parents and his other family members, but seeing it with his own eyes made a bubble of excitement well up inside his chest. He was here; he was finally here! 

Deciding that he probably should start introducing himself to his classmates instead of gaping like an idiot at everything, the boy pushed his round glasses up the bridge of his nose and walked over to the first person he saw, a pretty redhead.

"Hello, I'm James Potter," he said warmly, holding out his hand.

"Lily Evans," she said, shaking his hand. She glanced at him for a moment and then craned her head up once more to stare at the ceiling. "Amazing, isn't it?" she murmured half to herself, indicating the ceiling.

"Yeah, it's great," agreed James, not sure what else to say. "So ... excited about starting school at Hogwarts?"

"Very," said Lily, turning her eyes on a ghost covered with silver bloodstains as he floated by. "Any idea why everyone else is sitting and we aren't?"

"We're waiting to be sorted," he informed her, feeling a bit of smugness at his knowlege of Hogwarts's Sorting ceremony. "There's four houses: Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw, and Slytherin. Most of my family's been in Gryffindor."

"So you're from a wizarding family then?" Lily asked suddenly.

"Yes," said James. "You?"

"Muggles for parents," she said in a slightly wary voice, and he was sure that she'd already been told of the horrible prejudice against her kind in the wizarding world. "I never knew all the strange stuff that happened around me was magic. I once set a swarm of bees on my sister Petunia!" She laughed, sounding a little wistful. "My parents weren't too happy about that, but they were thrilled to find they had a witch in the family, insisted Petunia pretend to be happy for me and everything."

Lily smiled at him and he felt his face go hot, so he quickly said,"Well, very nice to meet you! I'm going to mingle some more before the Sorting."

"Of course," she agreed, turning a bit pink. "I'll do that too."

James quickly walked off in the opposite direction, suddenly feeling as if sweat was pouring down the back of his neck.

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Two boys stood talking amidst the other first years. One was rather good-looking for an eleven-year-old boy with his black hair and gray eyes while the other had light brown hair, blue-gray eyes,and a strained, weary look about him, as if he'd had more than his fair share of pain in his short lifespan. 

"So, Remus, where do you hope to be sorted?" asked the first boy in a slightly haughty tone, one he'd probably picked up from being forced to attend to many of his parents' dinner parties.

"Oh anywhere," said the second boy who was called Remus Lupin. "What about you, Sirius?"

"Well the Black family, the whole lot of them, were all in Slytherin, but I don't know if I want to end up there. There's too much pureblood nonsense in that house," growled Sirius, with more than a hint of suppressed rage. He dropped his voice to barely a whisper: "My parents would kill me if they heard me say that. They have all those stupid views of purebloods being dominate over everyone else."

"Ah," murmured Remus thoughtfully, "they think that way do they?"

"Yes," sighed Sirius, shifting uncomfortably,"along with the rest of my extended family. My cousin Bellatrix is starting Hogwarts this year too." He pointed at a tall dark-haired girl with heavily-lidded eyes, who avoided looking at him as if he was the plague itself. "She and I aren't that close. She's a _joy_ to be around."

Just then, a thin messy-haired boy appeared near them, putting out his hand. "Hello, I'm James Potter."

Remus and Sirius introduced themselves. The boys joked and chatted for a bit until Sirius said softly, "Who's that kid staring at us?"

He jerked his head slightly at a short boy with a rat-like face who was skulking about behind a group of chattering girls, peering at them with his small, watery eyes.

Without a word, James marched over to the boy, spoke to him for a moment, and then brought him back over to Remus and Sirius.

"This is Peter Pettigrew." he said, nodding at the boy.

Peter stood nervously beside them, peering up at the three taller boys and looking as if he expected them to tell him to sod off in a matter of minutes.

"So why were you staring at us?" inquired Sirius somewhat gruffly.

The smaller boy visibly trembled. "I ... I don't know anyone here, so I was just watching people to pass the time." He stared at the floor forlornly. "No one's tried talking to me yet."

"Well, mate, we've all just met! Join us! Chat a bit!" said Remus cheerfully, motioning to a spot next to James.

A tiny, grateful smile appeared on Peter's face, and he stepped forward into the circle. And with that small gesture of kindess on Sirius, Remus, and James's part, the Marauders, the most famous group of pranksters ever known to Hogwarts, were formed.

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It's bulked up a bit in description and that certainly helps! Of course, it's still isn't and never will be my favorite chapter BUT hopefully all of you were intrigued by the story and will continue on? **E.D.J.**


	2. Sorting of the First Years

**Disclaimer-** Wish it was mine, but sadly life's not fair.

**Authoress' Note- **I have revised this chapter a bit. There's now comments between the Marauders/Lily and the Sorting Hat when they are being sorted. Also I got rid of Kingsley Shacklebolt as a Ravenclaw and added a few new characters though I don't know if they'll have any importance to the plot of this story! Review and think happy thoughts!** E.D.J.**

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**Ch.2- Sorting of the First Years**

Finally, a professor by the name of McGonagall entered the hall where the first years stood calling, "Please line up in an orderly fashion."

The students lined up quickly and Professor McGonagall said briskly, "Now when you name is called, you will walk to the front of the Great Hall, place the Sorting Hat upon your head, which will then sort you into your appropriate Houses. Understood? Good. Line up please."

With that, she exited the Hall.

The students hurriedly lined up, already knowing that invoking the wrath of that woman would have dire consequences. A few murmurs went through the nervous first-years.

"Sorting Hat?" whispered a few students. "What do you suppose that is?"

They immediately stopped when they saw Professor McGonagall reenter and place a stool on the floor. On it, she sat a frayed, old, pointed hat with a rip in the brim. The rip opened wide and the Hat sang loudly a song about all four Hogwarts House: Gryffindor, where the brave of heart dwell; Ravenclaw had those of ready mind; Hufflepuff, the hard-working and loyal; and Slytherin, the cunning and sly.

Everyone clapped enthusiastically as the Hat finished its song, and a few of the first-years could have sworn they saw it bow.

Before they could ask their neighbors if they'd seen it too, Professor McGonagall pulled out a large piece of parchment and called loudly, "Arrindell, Evan!"

A small blonde-haired boy came forward, placed the Hat on his head, and the Sorting Hat yelled, "Hufflepuff!"

The boy scurried to the appropriate table.

"Avery, Alexander!"

The dark-eyed boy hurried foward and quickly became a Slytherin. A table covered in green and silver decorations all featuring a large serpent clapped and cheered as they welcomed the new boy.

"Black, Bellatrix!"

The girl came forward, distrust showing in her hooded eyes before the hat brim slipped forward.

"Slytherin!" called the Hat.

"Black Sirius" was called, and Sirius walked up confidently, laughter shining in his eyes as the Hat slipped over his face.

Sirius heard a voice in his ear. "Ah, another Black. Should I put you with your cousin Bellatrix and the rest of your family? Hmm ... perhaps. (S_tupid intolerant purebloods, always thinking they have the right answer and not thinking of ...)_ Do shut up, Mr Black, I'm trying to think. (_Fine, fine. Your loss.)_ Ah, you seem to be made of different stuff than your erm ... lovely family. Well then it will have to be... Gryffindor!"

The hall clapped loudly as Sirius walked over to the red and gold table covered with roaring lions. He saw Bellatrix glaring at him, but he just gave her a bored shrug and turned away.

"Bones, Amelia!"

A broad square-jawed girl strode forward and the Hat called, "Hufflepuff!"

Amelia walked to the yellow and black table covered with pictures of badgers amidst the loud cheers of her new House.

"Brevard, Jaqueline!"

A tall, brown-haired girl stepped forward.

"Ravenclaw!"

"Crabbe, Victor!"

A large mean-looking boy with gorilla like arms shuffled forward, and the Hat called, "Slytherin!"

"Dearborn, Alice!"

The sweet-looking, round-faced girl also became a Hufflepuff.

"Evans, Lily" was eventually called, and Lily walked shakily out into the Great Hall, her bright green eyes wide with fear.

The Hat whispered, "Ah you are a Muggle-born. But you seem to like this new magical world? (_Very much er... Mr. Hat.) _Yes? Hmmm ... you're very clever, good Ravenclaw attribute.(_Why thank you.) _but I seem more of a ... Gryffindor!"

Lily smile and walked over to the Gryffindor table, glad to finally have somewhere to call "home".

The line gradually shortened as "Fletcher, Mundungus" became a Ravenclaw with many cheers from the House table covered in blue and bronze decorations prominently featuring eagles, "Goyle, Edgar", who seemed to be rather dim and oafish, became a Slytherin, and "Jones, Hestia" a small, pink-cheeked, black-haired girl became a Ravenclaw. "Konen, Myles" also became a Ravenclaw, "Lestrange Rodolphus" became a Slytherin, and "Longbottom, Frank" became another Gryffindor.

"Lupin, Remus" was called, and Remus shook slightly as he sat down on the stool and placed the Hat on his head.

"Ah yes! You are the child Dumbledore had to convince the staff to allow into Hogwarts. (_Bloody hell even the Hat knows?) _Of course. I know everything that happens at Hogwarts. I live in Dumbledore's office, don't I? (_Smug, are we?_)Oh yes, very much so, Mr Lupin. But we won't speak of that now, just remember to stick to Dumbledore's instructions for your own and everyone's safety. Let's see ... you are a sure Gryffindor!"

Remus walked over to join Sirius at the Gryffindor table, his face pink from the Hat's comments.

Finally, "Pettigrew, Peter" was called after a line of other people, which included "Meadows, Isabella" and "Norcross, Isolda". Peter walked nervously up to the stool, placing the Hat on his head.

The Hat whispered, "Ah you like to be around those people considered the most powerful and strong.(_What's wrong with that?)_ I see it has already started with the boys you've befriended. It won't be an attribute that'll help you in the future. (_What's wrong with my friends? Hat, why aren't answering my questions?)_Well we're getting off track, you have courage. I suppose you're a ... Gryffindor!"

Peter stumbled to the Gryffindor table and was happy to collapse into a chair across from Remus and Sirius.

"Potter, James" walked confidently to the Sorting Hat, placing it on his messy-haired head.

"Ah," said the Hat quietly. "You're a clever, brilliant one like your father. (_I always thought so.) _Ah very brave. (_I try.) _And proud. (_Wow you've really got me down.)_ Lots of talent. (_Aww I'm blushing.) _Quiet, Potter, I'm trying to think! Hmm ... of course Gryffindor!"

James laughed with glee and smiled as he strode over to his newfound friends. He was glad to be in the same house as Remus, Sirius, and Peter along with the pretty girl Lily Evans, who gave him a brilliant smile when he sat down.

Twins "Prewett, Fabian" and "Prewett, Gideon" were then sent to separate Houses; Gideon to Ravenclaw and Fabian to Hufflepuff.

"Rosier, Marinda", a tiny, angry-looking girl, and "Snape, Severus", a greasy, hook-nosed boy with a mean look about him, both became Slytherins.

"Vance, Emmeline!" The girl, who had an emerald green hair band in her light brown hair, was made a Gryffindor as well.

"And finally Wilkes, Demelza!" said Professor McGonagall curtly, and the pale blonde girl walked foward and was made a Slytherin.

"That concludes the Sorting ceremony," called a tall, very old man from the staff table as Professor McGonagall carried away the Sorting Hat and its stool The old man slowly stood up, revealing strands of long gray and white hair and a matching beard. He boomed, "Welcome to Hogwarts, first years! For those of you who don't know ... or have forgotten ... I am Headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, Professor Dumbledore. Now I wish to say a few words before we eat. Quafflepunchers! Frog Spawn! Graphorn! Dungbombs! Thank you."

He sat.

Lily whispered, "What does that mean?" to Emmeline Vance who was sitting next to her.

"I don't know. Everyone's always says he's a bit off his rocker," said Emmeline before she gasped, pointing as food and drink that had suddenly appeared on the table.

Everyone heaped their gold plates with delicious food and began to feast.

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So whadja think? Good? Bad? Ugly? Hilarious? (though why would it be this is just a filler chapter)? Keep reviewing! **E.D.J.**


	3. Intervention by Padfoot

**Disclaimer- **If I own this, then why haven't truckloads of money been delivered to my house yet?

**Authoress' Note-** Hello, lovely readers! You may notice that chapter three has been revised slightly and that Dumbledore now has a very long, quirkly funny speech! Yay! I don't know why anyone who's already read this chapter is reading it again, but maybe I'll post a note on Chapter 17, so people can read the much better Dumbledore speech. Cheers, turkey, and wonderful reviews! **E.D.J.**

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**Ch. 3- Intervention by Padfoot**

"Ah I'm stuffed!" moaned James, sighing and leaning back in his chair to get a better view of Lily Evans, who was farther down the table in animated conversation with the green-hairbanded girl.

"Wat' choo 'ooking a'?" asked Sirius around a mouthful of peach tart.

He leaned across the table to look in the same direction as James. When he saw the pretty red-haired girl, Sirius gave a barking laugh, spraying bits of tart all over James.

"Oy!" said James loudly, wiping tart of his glasses. "Watch it!"

"Fancy her, eh?" teased Sirius, leaning forward to get a better look. "She's quite pretty. Why don't you go over and talk to her?"

"Because I don't want to go talk to her!"

"Who?" asked Remus and Peter, joining the conversation.

"No one," said James through gritted teeth, staring at his empty gold plate angrily.

"That redhead," said Sirius, cocking his head at Lily. "Something Evans? Hmm ... let's try something, eh?"

Sirius's gray eyes glittered mischievously.

"No ..." began James dangerously.

"Oy, Evans!" Sirius called loudly down the table.

Lily looked around at the sound of her name, seeing James Potter and three other boys farther down the table. Sirius pointed at James, whose face turned slightly red.

"What ... Potter?" asked Lily uncertainly, using his last name like how he'd supposedly called her.

"Uh ..." said James, kicking Sirius under the table. "Would you pass that chocolate pudding by you?"

"Of course," she replied, handing the pudding to a girl next to her, watching it progress down the table until it reached James. She looked at him for a moment before turning back to her conversation with Emmeline.

"Nice save there," said Remus with a dark chuckle. "That could have been a mess."

"Oh you're a bloody coward," whispered Sirius, elbowing James is the side.

"Did it ever occur to you that maybe I didn't want to tell the entire House if I decided to talk to Lily? And perhaps there is nothing to say her?" said James, raising an eyebrow quizzically.

"Ah yes, it's Lily Evans!" said Sirius with a chuckle. "Of course, Jamesie would know. And there _is _something to tell her. What is it, mate?" Sirius nodded at Peter.

"He fancies her?" said Peter, uncertain if this was the answer Sirius was looking for.

"Right," said Sirius, nodding. "Mr. James Potter fancies Miss Lily Evans. Though he denies it at this time."

"You're a loony, Sirius."

"But a dashingly handsome loony, eh?"

James sighed as Sirius, Remus, and Peter began pondering over the subject of the next Quidditch Cup competitors, a subject that usually would have interested him, but now he felt too pitiful.

Just then, Professor Dumbledore stood up again, and the hall instantly quieted.

"I just have a few start-of-term announcements before your House prefects lead you to your dormitories. The Forbidden Forest, which surrounds our beloved school, is off limits to all students unless one wishes to die a gruesome death at the teeth of one of the dangerous creatures that occupy our forest. Also, our caretaker, Mr. Filch, reminds me for what he says is the tenth time that no magic may be used outside the classroom. He also adds that any rule breakers will be strung up by their toes in the dungeons, but, Argus, I can't allow you to inflict pain on my students in that way; much as you may beg and plead. All other rules, big and small, may be found on the list outside Mr. Filch's office or in the library in a copy of _Rules of the School: What Not to be Caught Doing_ by Montgomery Spatterwood. Also, a rare, new tree has been planted on our grounds much to the delight of our Herbology teacher, Professor Sprout. It is called a Whomping Willow and if any students go near it you will receive a sound beating. Not at the hands of a professor, mind you. No, at the hands of the tree. You see, a Whomping Willow will lash out at anyone who goes near it, so I would advise you to give it a wide berth, so we do not have any injuries. Prefects, you make take the students to their dormitories. Good night."

The four boys along with Lily and their fellow Gryffindors followed a blonde sixth-year prefect who introduced herself as Marlene McKinnon to a painting of an enormous lady dressed in a pink dress.

"Password?" inquired the Fat Lady.

"The paintings talk too?" said Lily, astonished.

"Of course," said Marlene with a chuckle. "Why wouldn't they?"

"Ahemm ..." said the Fat Lady, clearing her throat, obviously frustrated. "I said, 'password'?"

"Oh right," said Marlene, resuming her prefect duties. "It's shrivelfig."

The painting swung aside revealing a round opening into Gryffindor House.

"All of you best remember that password 'shrivelfig'," said Marlene as they all made their way into the Gryffindor common room. "Or else you'll get stuck outside the House for Merlin knows how long, and the caretaker will murder anyone he catches out after hours."

The common room was very warm and cozy, full of scarlet armchairs and sofas, and the giant fireplace had a roaring fire crackling inside it. All of the first years gaped enormously while the older students threw themselves into to chairs or scurried up flights of stairs that branched off of the room.

"Up those stairs are the dormitories. Staircases leading to the girls and boys' sides are clearly marked," said Marlene, motioning up the stairs. "Look at the signs on the doors to find your year's room."

All the first students stumbled sleepily up the stairs to go to bed.

Lily followed Emmeline up the girls' dormitory's staircase and through a door labeled "First-years". She lay down on her new four-poster bed and was soon asleep.

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"Oy! Here we are!" called Remus, pointing to the "First-years" sign on one room's door. 

The four boys, followed by Frank Longbottom strode into the room.

"It's quite nice," said Peter, sitting down on a bed. "Cozy."

"I get this bed," said Remus, pointing to a bed near the window. "I ... like to watch the night sky."

"Alright, we got these two then," said Sirius and James, motioning to the beds to the right of Remus.

Frank took the bed next to Peter.

"I hope we'll be friends seeing how we're stuck together for the most part of the next seven years."

"I agree," said James, sticking out his hand. "Let us agree to mutual friendship for the sake of our years being pleasant ones."

All five boys shook hands enthusiastically before falling into a deep sleep.

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Review! Tell your friends to read this! Tell your friends to review this! Tell your friends to tell their friends to read and review this! I could go on and on, but I'll stop because I doubt many people what to read 10 pages of tell your friends to tell their friends to tell their friends to their friends to read and review this! And so and so forth! New readers continue reading onward! **E.D.J.**


	4. James's Charms Troubles

**Disclaimer- **

Elladora: It's really mine? I can keep them? All the characters?

J.K. Rowling: No.

Elladora: Can I at least keep Ron? Or James? Or Harry? Or Remus? Or Sirius? Or...

(J.K. has stuffed a sock in Elladora's mouth)

Elladora: MWWWWWWWW...

J.K. Rowling: I'm richer than the Queen of England from these books, so I'm pretty sure their all _mine._

**Authoress' Note-** Yay! Chapter four revision is done! Cheer with me!** E.D.J.**

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**Ch. 4- James's Charms Troubles**

The next day, at breakfast, lesson schedules were handed out, much to the students' dismay.

"Ugh," groaned Sirius, pulling a face. "We've got Transfiguration first hour. I've heard it's bloody hard."

"That Professor McGonagall teaches it," said Remus, checking the schedule.

"Well that's just brilliant fun! said Sirius sarcastically, glancing at the severe-looking witch sitting at the staff table. "She looks as if she'd give me detention for just showing up to class!"

"She's also the Head of Gryffindor House, mate," murmured Peter.

Sirius swore loudly, pounding his fork against the table, narrowly missing Remus's hand. Remus gave him a withering look and grabbed the fork from Sirius's hand.

"I wish first years could play Quidditch," sighed James wistfully. "I can't wait till summer to ride a broom."

"You play Quidditch?" asked Remus, surprised.

"Oh yeah. At home, we kind of play with the neighboring wizards, but sometimes it's a bit frustrating when half the kids don't have any idea what they're doing," said James with a sigh.

"What position?" asked Peter, excitement showing in his watery eyes.

"I'm a Chaser," said James proudly.

"Wow that's great!" exclaimed Peter, clapping his hands triumphantly. "I bet you'll help the House team loads next year! I bet you'll be the best on the team!"

"Maybe you'd better stop playing, Jamesie," observed Sirius. "Before Peter bursts from anticipation."

But James wasn't listening, otherwise he'd have given Sirius a retort over the nickname Jamesie, which Sirius seemed to be favoring. He was staring absently down the table at a certain redhead, who smiled when she caught him staring at her. James smiled back.

"Anyone there, James?" said Remus with a laugh, waving his hand in front of James' face. "Don't go all swoony on us."

"What? I wasn't doing anything!" he retorted rather defensively.

"Right," said Peter, stifling a smile.

Sirius gave a loud false cough that sounded oddly like: "Evans!"

James gave an exasperated sigh and resumed chewing on the end of his toast.

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Lily sighed, thinking of home for a moment. But then she realized, what was there to be sad about? She was going to learn magic! There was no way she could learn that at home!

Lily smiled broadly and looked down the table to see James Potter smiling back at her. She looked quickly at her plate, and, when she looked up again, he was chewing on a bit of toast, listening to the ill-looking boy next to him.

Lily stared at her schedule and sighed. She had Transfiguration first hour. _The Beginner's Guide to Transfiguration_ textbook she'd skimmed had looked beyond difficult.

She poked Emmeline and asked worriedly, "Do you think I'll be loads behind everyone else in lessons?"

Emmeline shook her head. "Because you're Muggle-born? I doubt it. I'm from a half-wizarding family, and I've never used wand or charmed anything in my life!"

Lily smiled, relieved for the time being. Just then, the bell rang, signifying the end of breakfast.

"Let's go!" said Emmeline, grabbing her and Lily's bags. "That Professor McGonagall looked horribly strict!"

They hurried out of the Great Hall and up a flight of stairs to the Transfiguration classroom. They were the first students to class, and they sat in adjoining desks near the middle of the room.

"Well, I do like to see students eager to learn!" exclaimed Professor McGonagall as she entered the classroom, giving them what would soon be known as a rare smile.

"Oh great, I think we just became the teacher's pets," muttered Emmeline.

Soon, other students began trickling into the room, but Lily didn't seem James Potter or his friend something Black anywhere. Not that she was looking of course.

The bell rang and Professor McGonagall stood up and gazed at the class sternly. "Welcome to Transfiguration, the magical art of turning one thing into another. For example, I could ..."

She paused momentarily because someone was pounding loudly on the classroom door. Professor McGonagall opened it, and two boys tumbled inside.

"Well, Mr Potter, Mr Black, I suppose you have a reason for being late?"asked Professor McGonagall in an icy tone.

"Sorry, Professor," murmured Sirius, suppressing a grin. "Got lost. That blasted poltergeist sent us the wrong, and then he locked us in an empty classroom."

"Luckily, I knew the Alohomora spell to get us out," said James, straightening up and giving a heroic smile.

His eyes caught Lily's, and he saw she was laughing. His neck began to heat up, and he turned back to Professor McGonagall.

"Well, I won't take any points today," said Professor McGonagall, the corners of her mouth twitching slightly. "Boys, please find your seats."

As James and Sirius sat down behind Peter and Remus, she said, "A word of advice to all of you. Don't listen to anything Peeves, the school poltergeist, tells you. He's a notorious prankster, and he loves giving students a hard time.

"And, Mr. Potter," she added, giving James a hard glare, and he quickly stopped whispering to Remus. "I would deflate that head of yours. The Alohomora spell is not a very difficult one."

The class burst out laughing, and James, not taken aback at all, laughed along with them, his cheeks only _slightly_ pink.

"Now, I would like you to please watch as I give you a demonstration of what Transfiguration _really _is," said Professor McGonagall, taking off her pointed hat.

She places it on her desk and muttered something as she pointed her wand at the hat. The hat turned into a sleek black cat, which hisses disapprovingly at the students, its green eyes glinting.The class stared in awe as Professor McGonagall promptly changed the cat back into a hat and placed the hat back on her head.

"Now you will not be transfiguring inanimate objects into animals just yet," said Professor McGonagall somewhat smugly, patting her hat. "Today we will be learning the most basic form of transfiguration where you will be trying to turn a matchstick into a needle."

She waved her wand, and notes flew onto the board, which the students quickly began copying down while the profesor lectured them on the process needed for this particular type of transfiguration. Finally after nearly three-quarters of an hour, Professor McGonagall allowed the students to try it for themselves, but, by the end of class, the only students who had made any different to their matchsticks were Lily Evans and James Potter.

Professor McGonagall showed the class how their matchsticks were now pointed and made of shiny metal and applauded them. "Excellent work! Ten points each to Gryffindor."

Lily turned slightly pink, and James caught her eye and grinned as Professor McGonagall continued to praise their accomplishment.

"It really wasn't as difficult as I expected," said Lily to Emmeline as they gathered their things at the end of class. "A matchstick and a needle really aren't that much different in shape, so I suppose that's why it wasn't very challenging."

"Easy for you to say," grumbled Emmeline, holding up her matchstick, which had turned a funny shade of pink and had a sickly sort of yellow-green plant growing out of the end of it.

Lily suppressed a giggle as her friend tossed her distorted matchstick into the box on Professor McGonagall's desk, which was filled with unchanged matchsticks, matchsticks that looked quite charred, and some broken in half in frustration.

Emmeline was still scowling when they entered the Charms classroom.

"Welcome to Charms!" squeaked tiny Professor Flitwick from where he stood on a stack of books, so he'd be able to see the entire class. "I am Professor Flitwick!"

He immediately began lecturing them on Levitation Charms.

"Now remember," said Professor Flitwick after nearly an hour. "The wand movement is swish and flick. Correct pronunciation is important too! Divide up into pairs to practice! One girl and one boy to a pair!"

The class groaned as people shyly began choosing partners.

James Potter appeared at Lily's elbow. "Lily," he asked nervously. "Partners?"

"Sure," replied Lily, grabbing her bag from the chair next to her to make room for James.

"So we just have to levitate a feather?" asked James, lazily rumpling his hair.

Lily nodded.

"Sounds easy enough," he said, picking up his wand and uttering, "_Wingardium Leviosa_!"

The feather twitched slightly, but didn't rise up in the air.

Lily laughed. "Easy, huh?" She pointed her wand at her feather. "_Wingardium Leviosa_!"

The feather rose up and gently floated in the air.

"Luck, Evans. Sheer luck," grumbled James, pointing his wand at his twitching feather. "_Wingardium Leviosa_!"

The feather still did nothing but twitch and turn a strange orange color.

Lily snorted. "You really seem to have a knack for this, don't you?"

She glanced at the other pairs around the room. Emmeline was working with Remus Lupin, and she seemed to be doing much better than last hour's matchstick transfiguration disaster.

Lily turned back to James, sighing as he continued his hopeless effort to make his feather levitate. James soon caused the feather to catch fire in a burst of angry frustration. Luckily, Professor Flitwick was near by and quickly extinguished the fire with a bit of water from his wand.

"Ok, Lil," said James, sighing. "Help me!"

_Lil?_ thought Lily confused._ Did I tell him he could call me Lil?_ Obviously not. She brushed it off and said, "Are you sure you're saying it right?"

"I suppose," said James rubbing his head, "Wing-GAR-dee-um Levi-OH-sa?"

"No it's Lev-ee-OH-sa," said Lily, realizing the problem. "Try it again."

James pointed his wand at his charred feather and shouted, "_Wingardium Leviosa_!"

The feather gently rose and floated in the air.

"Blimey, Evans! You're a genius!" James remarked as he looked up at the feather hovering gently above his head.

Lily smiled as she watched feathers float around the classroom in a dreamy sort of way. She was thinking James Potter was rather sweet.

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Awww... **E.D.J. **


	5. That Evil Git of a Slytherin

**Disclaimer**- If I could write as good as J.K. Rowling I'd well... I'd be J.K. Rowling and I'm not her, so yeah!

**Authoress' Note**- Stupid disclaimer I know AND the chapter's crappily short, but you may glance at the lengths of the next chapters and I can assure you they are a nice amount of words. I think. What you didn't think the disclaimer was stupid? You think it deserves an award for being the most witty thing you've ever read? Oh shut up, Frank. That's the reason you're imaginary! You can't give a compliment without it being a complete lie! Hmph!** E.D.J **

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**Ch. 5- That Evil Git of a Slytherin**

"Potions with the_ Slytherins_?" repeated Sirius grumpily at breakfast the next day. "Why don't they just kill me now? They're all slimy pureblood gits."

"Way to insult your family there, mate," James murmured absently.

"Well it's true!" said Sirius indignantly. "Even my family! Ugh, my parents will probably write me saying how I've 'disgraced the family name and _Regulus_ would _never _be made a Gryffindor!'"

"Regulus?" asked Peter curiously. "Who's he?"

"My little brother; he's about nine," said Sirius, sighing, a hint of disdain to his voice. "My parents favor him. He's a nasty little lout. Bit me once after I called my mum an ugly old hag. Perfect for Slytherin." 

"You called your _mum_ an ugly old hag?" gasped Remus.

"She was asking for it," said Sirius defensively. "She wanted to send me to Durmstrang! It's bloody cold there! No, Sirius Black will not freeze his arse off when he could go to the lovely _warm_ school that is Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Of course, Mum threw a fit. They finally let me come here when I threatened to go to the Ministry and tell them Dad made the house Unplottable without their consent. So here I am, and Dad went to the Ministry and got permission, so I couldn't threaten them with that anymore. Oh, but I could do much _worse_ then tell the Ministry the house was Unplottable."

Sirius's grey eyes glinted for a moment, and his friends watched him warily until Sirius shook his head and started talking about the Chudley Cannons's new Keeper.

Sure enough, later, when the huge flock of owls swooped into the Great Hall, a handsome black-feathered owl dropped a letter in Sirius's porridge.

Sirius opened and skimmed over it. "Of course! Just what I thought! They're _soooo_ disappointed. Happy at least Bellatrix's in Slytherin. Rubbish."

He crumpled up the letter and threw it in his goblet of pumpkin juice, scowling fiercely.

James knew better (even after only a day) than to talk to Sirius when he was in a 'mood'. So he turned to Remus.

"You've been awfully quiet, Rem," said James, peering the ill-looking boy across from him. "You're looking awful peaky."

"Oh am I?" asked Remus inattentively. "I suppose I just feel a bit ill. Maybe I'm coming down with something."

"Go see Madam Pomfrey, the school nurse," suggested Peter helpfully.

"Maybe I will," murmured Remus, sounding slightly dazed as he slowly stood up and grabbed his bag. "I'll see you in Potions."

* * *

"So anyone know what we do in here?" asked Peter as they entered the dark Potions classroom down in the dungeons. 

"Chuck thinks into a pot and stir it," said Sirius, grinning, his unfortunate letter already forgotten. "Sounds easy enough."

"Yes, I suppose it'd be easy for someone of your intelligence," said a sneering voice.

Sirius turned around and found himself face to face with a Slytherin boy with dark greasy hair and a hooknose.

The boy smirked at Sirius. "Wasn't your family _so_ disappointed when they heard you weren't Slytherin material?"

"That depends on who's asking," growled Sirius, casually taking his wand out, his eyes glinting dangerously again.

"Severus Snape," said the boy, his lip curling. "A pleasure. For you at least."

"Of course the pleasure's all mine," said Sirius sarcastically, his eyes blazing as he glared at Snape.

"At least the Black family has _someone_ to be proud of," said Bellatrix Black, stepping out from behind Snape, her eyes filled with disdain."Not some lousy Gryffindor."

"Don't insult him!" James snapped angrily, his gaze steely. "If being in Slytherin involves sharing a House with you, I'd choose Gryffindor in a heartbeat."

"And _you_ are?" asked Snape in a bored voice.

"James Potter," said James icily, gripping his wand tightly. "And I'd back down if you have any idea who I am."

"Well, Potter, clearly you have no idea who _I_ am," growled Snape, his eyes flashing.

"Oh we _know _who you are," said Remus, suddenly appearing in the doorway. "A slimy git of a Slytherin!"

Peter looked uncertainly from the seated students watching the row to his three friends standing with their wands pointed at Snape. He shuddered nervously.

"I think you three need a lesson in manners," said Snape, raising his wand and shouting, "Conjunc..."

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Oops cliffie. (evil grin) **E.D.J.**  



	6. The Potions Professor

**Disclaimer-**If I was J.K. Rowling, don't you think I shouldn't have to be doing chores right now? (Everyone repeat this line over and over until your brain boils) "I agree completly oh wonderful Elladora. If you were J.K. Rowling, you would have a maid or cleaning staff."

**A/N-** Yeah just been fixing a few chapters.** E.D.J.**

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Ch. 6- The Potions Professor**

Lily Evans whispered, "I hope those Slytherins aren't all bad," as she and Emmeline walked down the slimy steps to the dungeons where Potions lessons were held.

"Doubtful," said Emmeline, opening the classroom door. "They're said to be a nasty lot..."

She stopped, staring at the scene inside the classroom. Lily stepped around her and saw James Potter, his friend Black, and Remus Lupin pointing their wands at a smirking hook-nosed boy who began to utter a curse, but then Lily ran between the boys.

"No! Stop that you idiots!" she yelled.

The boys stared warily at Lily, but kept their wands at the ready.

"Honestly!" she said, giving a large sigh. "Fighting like kids in primary school. Though they don't have wands..." She trailed off and glared at the boys.

The hook-nosed boy spoke first.

"Primary school?" he said, his lip curling in disgust, "You must be a Muggle-born. Well, I don't take orders from filthy Mudbloods. Now step aside!"

"Oy!" said James angrily. "That's a bit too far for our liking. You'll pay for that!"

He raised his wand, but just then, the Potions teacher stepped into the room.

"Why aren't you sitting, ready for class?" she asked indignantly, "Really Severus, I'd have expected better from someone in my House! Five points from Gryffindor and Slytherin!"

"Wow from her own House," whispered the seated students as the others sat down quietly and everyone took out their Potions things.

"Welcome to Potions," said the teacher, giving a smile, but it didn't extend to her eyes, which remained cold and icy blue. "I am Professor Azalea Wolcosh, the Potions Mistress."

The students stared, gaping at the Professor who glared back at them. She was very pretty, wearing dark green robes and with her black hair done up in an elegant bun, but Professor Wolcosh gave off an air of complete and utter authority and power.

A few students gulped worriedly as the room sat in silence.

"Today we will be making a potion with a similar effect as the Curse of the Bogies though it is much more simple than the curse," said Professor Wolcosh, breaking the silence. "This potion will cause the victim to contract a terrible cold, which stays on until they are given the antidote. This potion cannot only be drunken, but even contact with the skin will cause you to contract this cold. So I would advise you to keep your fingers out of your cauldrons."

She then waved her wand and instructions appeared on the board. "Please begin. If you have problems or questions, please don't hesitate to ask me."

Though the look on her face said, "You'd better understand this because I will be furious with any student who disturbs me."

The students quickly began getting their potion ingredients out and lighting fires beneath their cauldrons.

"Oh I'll kill that Snape!" muttered Sirius half an hour later as he added a clump of hellebore to his potion, which turned a sickly yellow color.

"I'm done here!" called Snape loudly from the other side of the room.

"Nasty git," whispered James, adding a few drops of Stinksap to his potion.

"Someone ought to teach him a lesson," muttered Remus, his eyes on the smirking Snape. "That was an awful thing he called Lily."

"I'll do it!" said Sirius, standing up.

"No Sirius!" squeaked Peter nervously. "You'll get in trouble!"

"Does this look like the face of a troublemaker?" asked Sirius, a wide-eyed look of innocence on his face.

James snorted loudly.

"No..." said Peter uncertainly.

"Exactly," said Sirius, striding off toward Snape.

"What do you suppose he'll do?" wondered Peter.

Just then, everyone turned around as they heard a loud crash and a yelp of pain. Snape was covered in his potion, his cauldron lying dented on the ground.

"What happened?" asked Professor Wolcosh angrily, striding over to the table where Snape stood.

Snape opened his mouth and sneezed loudly in the Professor's face.

"Ugh!" she screeched, wiping her face with the end of her robes, "Twenty points from Slytherin, Severus!"

"Black...he...achoo!" said Snape, slightly sniveling over losing even more House points.

"Mr. Black, what did you do?!" shrieked Professor Wolcosh.

"I merely tripped on the hem of my robes and accidentally bumped into Severus," said Sirius, the look of innocence playing across his face. "Then he stumbled into the table and his cauldron tipped off."

"Alright!" said Professor Wolcosh loudly over Snape's sneezes. "Did anyone else get splashed with the potion? Raise your hand!"

No one raised their hand, so Professor Wolcosh said, "Mr Snape, please go to the hospital wing and Madam Pomfrey shall give you the antidote. Go! Mr Crabbe, accompany him!"

Snape followed by Victor Crabbe stumbled out of the room and out of sight.

"Back to work!" said Professor Wolcosh angrily.

Sirius came back over to his friends, grinningbroadly."Good enough for you?"

"Excellent," said James, grinning.

"What did you do?" asked Remus with a low chuckle.

"Oh I knocked his cauldron over so the potion would go all over him," Sirius said, laughing.

"So you didn't trip on your robes?" asked Peter, confused.

"Of course not!" said Sirius, sighing at Peter's slowness, "I just made that up so she wouldn't think I did it on purpose."

"And you got her to take even more points from Slytherin!" exclaimed James, his face filled with glee.

He said in a high voice, "Twenty points from Slytherin Severus for sneezing in my ugly face! Now no sniveling!" You could tell James had no great liking for Professor Wolcosh.

"Sniveling eh?" said Sirius, a thoughtful look on his face. "Severus-Snivellus. Perfect."

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Yeah, yeah yeah, annoyingly short, but I think I'm going to fix Ch. 7 and Ch. 8 and then combined them!!! Fun fun fun!** E.D.J.**


	7. The Row That Started It All

**Disclaimer- **Harry Potter is so great, but its not mine.

**Authoress' Note**- For your reading pleasure and the need I feel to have longer chapters seven and eight have been combined. **E.D.J.**

**Thanks you's!**

**Professor D. S. Silvers-**Yes the war has begun! I'm so glad you like Peter being bold now and then!

**Captianjack-**Yes, lots of conflicts will soon follow!

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**Ch. 7- The Row That Started It All**

Lily stood talking with Emmeline and their fellow first year Gryffindor, Isabella or Bella Meadows, when James's friend Black strode over to her at the end of class.

Clasping her hand in mock bravado, he said triumphantly, "Dear Lily! I, Sirius Black, have restored your honor by attacking the accursed Severus Snape!" He bowed low and then left skipping like a girl after James.

"I'll explain just in case you have no idea what Sirius just said," said Remus Lupin, rolling his eyes as he suddenly popped up next their table. "He dumped Snape's own potion on him because Snape called you a Mudblood. We just couldn't take that lying down. So Sirius volunteered to do the dirty work." Remus nodded to Emmeline and Bella and then walked over to where Peter was gathering up his Potions things.

"What's a Mudblood?" Lily asked as they made their way to the Great Hall for lunch.

Both Emmeline and Bella grimaced in distaste.

Bella tugged at a strand of wavy blonde hair and said uncomfortably, "It's what some wizards call Muggle-borns. It's really rude. It means the person has dirty blood, which of course isn't true. Some wizards think only people from old pureblood wizarding families should be in our society."

"Oh," said Lily sulkily. "That's so rude. But they didn't need to attack Snape for me! I could have handled it myself."

Lily was still angry at dinner. Angry that someone could say something so mean and hurtful to her and angry that James Potter and his friends didn't think she could take care of herself in matters involving rude peers.

When James and his friends sat down next to her, Lily leaned over to James, who was shoveling down mashed potatoes, and whispered, "You didn't have to that you know."

"Do what?" asked James, confused. "Eat that last scoop of potato?"

"No. Defend me, restore my honor, or whatever that prat was talking about after Potions," she said, waving her hands and pointing at Sirius, who looked bewildered and offended at being called a prat.

"What?" asked Remus, squinting at her.

"You didn't need to dump a potion on Snape because he called me a Mudblood," Lily stated slowly and distinctly.

"Okay," said Sirius, absently stirring a finger in his goblet of pumpkin juice. "Why?"

"I can fight my own battles!" Lily said angrily, her green eyes glinting dangerously bright.

"No one said you couldn't!" said James, taken aback. "We didn't think you'd mind seeing as Snape insulted you in the worst way possible!"

"I don't think you did it to help me," stated Lily. She was surprised at her boldness, but she decided to keep going.

"What?" asked James angrily.

"I think you did it to put James Potter and his friends on the map," said Lily. "You wanted to say, 'No one messes with James, Sirius, Remus, or Peter.' You didn't dump that potion on Snape because he insulted _me_; it was because he insulted _Black_! Because he offended all of you!" She glared at Sirius, who wisely remained quiet. "What are you going to do if some first year annoys you next year?" She was addressing James now.

"I don't know, Evans," said James lightly. "I suppose I'd just hex 'em."

Lily looked utterly horrified.

"You know I wasn't the one who spilled the potion on Snape!" James yelled angrily.

"But you didn't stop it, and you bloody well would have done it yourself if Black hadn't!" she spat back.

"Couldn't we have dumped the potion on Snape because he insulted both you _and_ Sirius?" said Remus, venturing back to the previous topic.

"No," said Lily indignantly. "Because why would I matter to any of you? You're all idiots who only care about how _you_ look to other people. You dump a potion on a Slytherin everyone hates; you four look like heroes to all of Gryffindor. You make me so sick! But you know what? Why should it matter to me? If you want to inflate you overly large egos more, why should I care?"

Lily strode off, and all four of the Marauders stared as she exited the Great Hall.

"Well, I personally don't think we deserved that," commented Sirius. "Does it mean we're completely evil if we want people to know who we are?"

"I don't know, mate," said Remus rather tiredly, his head drooping, but then he jerked up quickly. "I just remembered I'm supposed to go see Madam Pomfrey! She said I'd probably have to stay overnight in the hospital wing, so she can find if I'm ill with something contagious. I won't be in the dormitory tonight."

He quickly rushed out of the Great Hall.

"Well I think Evans hates you now, mate," said Sirius. He snorted. "You and your overly large ego."

"Great, wonderful, this is just great!" said James angrily, spilling pumpkin juice all over the table.

"Get over yourself! You liked her for like two days!" exclaimed Peter in a voice quite unlike his own.

James and Sirius stared at him, and Peter turned a bit pink.

"You know what?" said James thoughtfully. "You're right, Peter. I'll just forget it all!"

_I highly doubt that_, thought Sirius, as James changed the subject to the topic of more pranks to pull on that git Severus Snape.

Or should we say Snivellus?

* * *

Lily stomped along the seventh floor corridor until she reached the Fat Lady's portrait, which guarded the entrance to Gryffindor Tower. She glared at the Fat Lady for a moment before saying angrily: "Shrivelfig!" 

As Lily climbed through the portrait hole, the Fat Lady exclaimed, "Now really! It's not that difficult a password! There's no need to get angry!"

Lily ran up to her dormitory and flung herself onto her four-poster bed. "That brainless prat, James Potter," she murmured hotly. "I can't believe I _ever _thought he was sweet!" She groaned inwardly at the thought.

"Lily?" came two voices from the doorway.

"Em? Bella?" she said, looking up as she wiped away angry tears.

The two girls rushed over to Lily.

"It's alright, Lils," said Emmeline soothingly, stroking Lily's red hair.

"Those bloody gits, those stupid berks," she grumbled under her breath.

"If it makes you feel better, they looked pretty bewildered after your dramatic exit," said Bella, giggling a bit.

"Especially Potter," added Emmeline.

Lily gave a small laugh."You do agree with me, don't you?"

"I suppose," said Emmeline, biting her lip slightly. "They do seem a bit too full of themselves. Especially Potter and Black."

"Notice how she doesn't mention Remus," said Bella in a singsong voice, bouncing on the end of Lily's bed.

"Shut it!" Emmeline hissed, throwing Lily's pillow at Bella.

"Remus? Remus Lupin?" Lily gasped, shocked at this new turn of events.

"What he's cute!" protested Emmeline, her face red as she continued to throw pillows at Bella. She sighed. "He was so sweet helping me in Charms yesterday, and he's really smart and funny too!"

"I think we've lost her," said Bella, giggling as she dodged another pillow.

"Well, he's better than Potter or Black," said Lily approvingly.

Bella snorted loudly at the mention of Black.

"What?" asked Lily and Emmeline.

Bella snorted again laughter showing in her hazel eyes. "Did you see him gawking at me at dinner?"

"Black?" asked Lily.

"Oh yes," said Emmeline, laughing. "I saw him! So what do you think Bella?"

"Of Black?" asked Bella, crinkling her nose in disgust. "He's quite fit and all, but I think he's much too egotistic for his own good. Like Potter really."

"Did you see _him _gaping at _you_, Lils?" asked Emmeline, a glint of mischief in her eyes.

"Potter?" squawked a now thoroughly disgusted Lily. "I'd hex him to New Zealand and back if I ever caught him stealing a glance at me!"

"Well, I doubt he'll be doing that anytime soon," said Bella. "He looked pretty angry."

"Great!" snapped Lily. "I don't care! He's just a useless boy!" Bella looked wounded so Lily said quickly: "I'm sorry. I'm just tired. I think I'll turn in now."

"It's fine, Lils," said Bella, "G'night."

* * *

"Ugh!" moaned James, flinging himself onto his four-poster bed and burying his head under the covers, groaning loudly. 

"What?" Frank Longbottom asked curiously, as he entered the dormitory behind Peter.

"Evans. Fiery red hair? Great in Charms? An exploding bomb?" said Sirius, cuffing James in the back of the head as he sat down on his own bed. James gave him a murderous glare, but Sirius just gave him a smug smile.

"Oh ..." said Frank, a knowing tone to his voice. "The girl who yelled so loud you could hear her in New Zealand?"

"That's the one," said Peter with a slight smile.

"Quite a temper that one," said Frank lightly. "James fancy her?"

"Yeah," said Sirius, smirking despite himself.

"But I'm getting over it right now and you might as well not disturb me until I've succeed!" snapped James, beating his head against his pillow.

"Well, we should go to bed so as not to disturb Jamesie anymore," said Sirius in a singsong voice before lying down on his bed.

"G'night!" called the boys and they all drifted off to sleep.

All except James, who lay awake for a long time, staring at the large full moon outside the window.

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What did you like? What didn't you like? What lines did you find most funny? I really want to know! Ta.** Elladora **


	8. The Halloween Prank

**Disclaimer-** Love Harry Potter! Sadly is all J.K. Rowling's!

**Authoress' Note:** Hi! I'm back! Thanks for all the reviews keep at it! Also please read Summer with the Arrogant Prat my other story and review, if you should feel so inclined to do so.** E.D.J.**

**ShadowFire2-**Yeah I'm mad Sirius is gone too. (sobs) But maybe all the rumors about him not really being dead are true! We can only hope!

**Marie-**Thanks for becoming a fan and thanks for the compliments!

**Jess-** I'm glad you think my story is accurate!

**Spilled Milk**- Thank you so much for all the reviews! And thank you for putting in the parts you liked and everything! I like to know that people think the same things as me are funny!

**Professor Drusilla W. L. Silvers**- Thanks for the compliment on Peter's portrayal!

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**Ch. 9- The Halloween Prank**

Not much happened in the next few weeks besides many an ugly glare being exchanged between James Potter and Lily Evans as they passed in the corridors, the common room, classes, pretty much any place where they happened to be within a few hundred yards of each other.

"You're not planning on getting over this row anytime soon, are you?" Bella asked Lily the morning of Halloween.

"Nope," said Lily, gritting her teeth and shooting an evil glance at Potter over her buttered toast.

He didn't glare back. He was too busy listening to Sirius Black, who was apparently very secretive about what he was saying, because he was talking in a low voice and kept motioning to his friends to move closer, so they wouldn't be overheard.

"Lily!" said Emmeline, breaking into Lily's thoughts. "Help me with this Transfiguration homework! It's due next hour!"

She sighed and turned to help her friend, removing her steely gaze from the four huddled boys for the moment.

* * *

"James, come on! This is the greatest Halloween prank ever!" muttered Sirius urgently. 

"Huh?" said James, looking up from his battered copy of _Quidditch Through the Ages_.

He saw Lily Evans fiercely glaring at him, but he ignored her. "Excellent, Sirius! Enlighten us!"

Sirius motioned for James, Remus, and Peter to huddle around him. "Picture this," he whispered. "Everyone in Hogwarts and a tricky little summoning charm that causes everyone to be suddenly without quills, ink, or parchment making this wonderful holiday of Halloween homework-free!"

"Summoning charms?" said Peter worriedly, chewing the end of his toast. "But that's fourth year magic."

"Well, all three of us can do them," said Sirius, pointing at himself, James, and Remus before muttering, "_Accio toast_!"

The toast flew from between Peter's fingers, and Sirius caught it, taking a bite. He spat it out quickly.

"Ugh! I hate apricot jam! You're sick, you know that?"

Peter grinned smugly, as Sirius tossed the toast at his head.

"What about you two?" Peter asked Remus and James.

"Alright. _Accio glasses_!" said Remus, waving his wand. James's glasses flew off and into Remus's open hand. Remus put them on, batted his eyelashes, and said in a high voice: "Oh, I'm James Potter! According to Lily Evans, I have no interests beyond Quidditch and myself!"

"Give me those!" grumbled James, lunging at Remus. Remus dodged him and James yelled, "_Accio glasses_!" The glasses flew from Remus's eyes and into James's hand. "That will teach you to mess with the fabulous James Potter!" said James triumphantly.

"Fabulous?" said a cool voice. "Now I think you're pushing that a bit far, Potter."

James spun around and saw a tall, very pale, blurred shape. He put on his glasses and recognized Lucius Malfoy, a seventh year Slytherin prefect, who sported long pale blonde hair, icy blue eyes, and a sneering expression. Two fellow Slytherins flanked him: a goon known as Nathaniel Nott and Lucius's girlfriend, Narcissa Black, who was as pale and blonde as Lucius and had a similar disgusted expression on her face.

"Hello, Narcissa, dear cousin," spat Sirius, recognizing the seventh-year Slytherin. "How's Bellatrix doing in that scum hole you call a house?"

Lucius, blonde hair whirling, pulled out his wand and snarled, "Never insult the Noble House of Slytherin!"

"Sounds like the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black, eh Narcissa?" said Sirius coolly, his narrowed eyes flickering over the older students. "I've already insulted the Black family enough to last a lifetime, so I suppose I'd better catch up on those Slytherin insults!"

"You are a disgrace to the Black family!" screamed Narcissa angrily. "I can't believe you! Hanging around with a bunch of blood-traitors and Mudbloods!"

"I don't think Sirius is the one who's a disgrace!" James spat back.

"Is there a problem here?" asked a cool authoritative voice. Professor Wolcosh stepped forward in her usual green robes and sporting her usual cold stare. "Malfoy? Potter? Black? Black? Problems?"

"Er ... no Professor," they stammered.

All except James, who stated, "Not really, Professor. I was just asking Lucius why he keeps his hair so long. I personally think it makes him look like a girl."

Narcissa gave an earsplitting shriek, and Lucius gave a loud growl and nodded to Nott who began to stride toward James, his fists raised high. Clearly Malfoy prefered muscle to magic.

"Nott, back!" spat Professor Wolcosh, raising her wand, and the giant bloke was thrown backward. "Potter, ten points from Gryffindor for insulting Malfoy! Malfoy, ten points from Slytherin for attempting to do harm to a Gryffindor first year! Now Lucius, Narcissa, Nathaniel, back to the House table!"she barked before heading back to the staff table, and the Slytherins exited, grinning menacingly at the Marauders, and Nott crackled his knuckles menacingly.

"Well," said James lightly. "That was interesting."

The four boys were silent for a few moments, swelling with pleasure at the thought of how James and Sirius had survived a run-in with three seventh year Slytherins, and were now without a scratch on them, and Gryffindor House only ten points lighter.

"We have to perform the charms before first lessons! Come on!" said Sirius, breaking the silence, and he strode purposefully out of the Great Hall with James, Remus, and Peter following close behind.

* * *

The four Marauders assembled inside a rarely used classroom on the fifth floor and James, Sirius, and Remus pulled out their wands. 

"_Accio all quills in Hogwarts_!" called Sirius.

"_Accio all inkwells in Hogwarts_!" said James with a lazy flick of his wand.

"_Accio all parchment in Hogwarts_!" said Remus quietly.

Soon they had three large piles of quills, inkwells, and parchment. Remus quickly put a Disillusionment Charm he had recently learned on the three piles, and the boys quickly exited the room and headed down the corridor.

"Wait!" said James, stopping abruptly, causing Peter to bang very hard into the back of his shins. "Ouch!" muttered James and then he ran back to the door of the classroom. "_Alohomora_!" The lock clicked into place and he ran back to his mates murmuring, "Extra precaution."

The four boys hurried to their Herbology lesson with the Ravenclaws and had just entered the greenhouse when the bell rang.

"Yes, made it!" said James smugly in a rather loud voice.

"Unfortunately," Lily muttered under her breath from the other side of the greenhouse.

"Today we will be learning about the plant Devil's Snare," said Professor Sprout, the Herbology witch, flattening her flyaway gray hair. "Please take out some parchment and a quill to take notes with."


	9. Becoming the Marauders

**Authoress's Note**: Hi! Here's a nice sized chapter for ya'll!** E.D.J.**

**AngelofTears- **Thank you! I'm glad people recognize when I'm trying to add humor to the story!

**Professor Drusilla W.L. Silvers- **Thank you so much for all your reviews!

**ShadowFire2- **NO! I will not make it slash! That is ugh... to nasty for words!

* * *

**Ch. 9- Becoming the Marauders**

Everyone except the four pranksters reached into their bags and began rummaging through for the things they needed.

"Oy! I can't find anything!" shouted Ravenclaw Mundungus Fletcher, brushing straggly ginger hair from his eyes. "I was sure I 'ad some. I put a new inkwell in 'ere this morning!"

Frantic calls such as "My new quill!" and "Where is everything?" soon began inside the greenhouse. Stirrings of barely contained fury and confusion began around the room as students turned to the neighbors and demanded their things be returned at once.

The foursome watched the scene somewhat smugly, and Sirius whispered, "Excellent! I was worried our charms might not be strong enough to get 'em all!"

"What? You worried?" asked James, grinning.

Around them the greenhouse started getting more chaotic, and chairs clattered and fell over as the accusing students continued to turn on each other.

"First years!" called Professor Sprout angrily over the din. "Does anyone have anything to take notes with? Anyone? Raise your hand!"

No one raised their hands as they continued to look suspiciously at their neighbors out of the corners of their eyes, and Professor Sprout muttered something that sounded like, "First years."

"I suppose I have some spare parchment and some quills _somewhere_," Professor Sprout murmured, a exasperated note to her voice, as she walked over to her extremely cluttered desk. "Mind you you'll have to share the quills," she added.

Professor Sprout rummaged through her very messy desk for nearly ten minutes before she finally said, "Merlin's beard! I have nothing either, and I could have sworn I had a whole stack of parchment here yesterday!"

"Perhaps we could just have a free hour until you figure this all out, Professor," Sirius suggested innocently, shooting a secretive smirk at his three friends.

"Fine, fine. Do whatever you like ... just stay away from the plants!" shrieked Professor Sprout, and two boys scuttled back to their seats, away from an extremely large potted plant that twitched menacingly, as if daring some student to go nearer.

"First lesson: success!" hissed James, pumping his fist in the air.

"Now, boys, let's enjoy a well-earned break!" said Remus, smiling and leaning back in his chair.

* * *

The rest of the day was much the same with none of the teachers being able to locate any spare supplies and ending up giving their students free periods. It seemed they'd even ventured into some of the more 'unsavory' rooms of the school in search of supplies, judging by the various burns, cuts, and general look of dislevelment many of the professors were now sporting. 

"Ah! Bliss!" Sirius said brightly as he, Peter, James, and Remus trotted into the Great Hall for dinner.

"That was the best prank!" James said a bit too loudly, grinning widely like one of the carved pumpkins decorating the Hall.

Just then, a cold, angry voice behind them that belonged to no other but their head of house Professor McGonagall sounded: "Mr. Potter! _You four_ are responsible for the mishaps we've been having all day?"

"Damn, she must have heard me!" James muttered under his breath before yelling, "Run!"

James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter ran for it, but they were hit with spells, causing them to be dragged back to a red-faced Professor McGonagall.

"Hello, Professor!" Sirius said, plastering on a smile. "To what do we owe this pleasure?"

"My office! Now!" Professor McGonagall snarled, releasing them from the spell, and the four boys walked grudgingly into her office on the first floor.

"Wait here while I get the Headmaster," she snapped, her voice low and dangerousl and she left the office, shooting the lot of them an evil glare as she exited the room.

Professor McGonagall soon returned with Professor Dumbledore, much to the boys' dismay.

"Well, Misters Potter, Black, Lupin, and Pettigrew, this is a most interesting situation," said Professor Dumbledore, his tone light. "Professor McGonagall tells me that you four are responsible for our unfortunate problems today."

"Yes, Professor," they said quietly, knowing only a fool would think to lie to someone such as Dumbledore.

"Tell me," said Professor Dumbledore, the corners of his mouth twitching slightly, "How did you accomplish this?"

"Summoning charms, Headmaster," said Sirius.

"Summoning charms?" said Professor Dumbledore, more than a hint of surprise in his voice. "Fourth year magic. Could you give me a demonstration as proof?"

"I suppose," James said, a little begrudgingly, pulling out his wand and motioning to Remus and Sirius. "_Accio all inkwells in Hogwarts_!"

"_Accio all parchment in Hogwarts_!"

"_Accio all quills in Hogwarts_!"

Soon the three huge piles were back and making more than a bit of mess in Professor McGonagall's office.

"Impressive," said Professor Dumbledore admiringly.

"Headmaster! Don't encourage them!" hissed Professor McGonagall angrily.

"I am merely commenting on the fact that these three, James, Sirius, and Remus, seem to be well above their year's abilities," said Professor Dumbledore, "You should be proud, Minerva, to have such excellent wizards in your House."

Sirius smirked cheekily at Professor McGonagall, who sniffed and muttered, "Not if they use that experience to pull pranks."

"How did you hide these?" asked Professor Dumbledore, motioning at the three piles of parchment, inkwells, and quills. "I would think they would be very conspicuous."

"I ... I put a Disillusionment Charm on them, Headmaster," Remus stammered, ducking his head as his face turned pink.

"Disillusionment Charms as well? Also well above first year magic."

They sat in silence for a few moments before Professor Dumbledore said with a smile, "I would hope that you would use your talents wisely and not foolishly. Though at times one simply needs a break from the regular routine, wouldn't you say so?"

"Yes Professor," James nodded vigorously. "We only wanted a break for the Halloween holiday."

"You do not decide when there are breaks from schoolwork," said Professor Dumbledore gently. "Now I believe Professsor McGonagall will decide on the punishment for your actions. See you at the Halloween feast, boys. But I'd better return these things to their owners first."

With a flick of his wand, the piles of quills, inkwells, and parchment were gone and so was Professor Dumbledore.

Professor McGonagall stood slowly and glared at them, but she was interrupted before she could even open her mouth.

"Professor," said Sirius in a loud charm-filled voice. "You are looking ravishing today, may I call you Minerva?"

"No, Mr. Black, you may not!" she snapped.

"You really do look stunning, Professor!" said James, nodding along earnestly.

"Dazzling!" added Peter.

"Enough with the compliments!" said Professor McGonagal,l scowling darkly. "It still won't get you out of two weeks' detention! And don't let me catch you four marauders again!"

"Aww ... two weeks?" moaned James.

"Yes Mr. Potter, _two_ weeks!" snarled Professor McGonagall, "Now get to the Halloween feast!"

"But, Professor," began Sirius.

"Would you like me to extend your detention to _three_ weeks, Mr. Black?" Professor McGongall said icily.

"No," Sirius said quickly.

The four boys quickly exited the office and slouched down to the Great Hall, which was decorated with giant pumpkins and live swarms of bats for Halloween.

"And don't let me catch you four marauders again!" James scoffed, mimicking Professor McGonagall as they sat down at the Gryffindor house table.

"Wait! Hold on!" said Sirius excitedly. "That's excellent! We should call ourselves the Marauders! I've been trying since September to think of a name to call the four of us and here it is!"

"_The Marauders_," said Remus in an announcer's voice. "_Stirring up mischief wherever they go_. I like it!"

"Me too!" said Peter excitedly.

"James?" said Sirius. "Your opinion?"

"We are the Marauders!" said James with a grin.

"Excellent," said Sirius quietly, "We have the name. Now we just need to add to the reputation."

* * *

"The Marauders!" whispered Bella as she, Emmeline, and Lily listened to the boys' conversation. 

"What does that mean?" asked Emmeline, confusion apparent on her face.

"A marauder wanders around looking to plunder or steal," said Lily quietly.

"Always the one with the answers aren't you?" said Bella dryly.

"Of course!" replied Lily with a grin. "Someone has to do it!"

"Do you think they were the ones responsible for everyone's school things being gone?" asked Emmeline as they began eating.

"Why don't one of you just ask them?" said Lily sarcastically.

"Why not you?" asked Emmeline, examining a forkful of roast beef before placing it in her mouth.

"Because I don't want to talk to those prats!" Lily snarled, slamming her fork against the table and causing the dishes to rattle ominously.

"More like you don't want to talk one of the stupid prats, Lils," Bella murmured and then she shouted, "Hey, Black!"

Sirius whirled around and grinned when he saw Bella meant him. "You rang, Meadows?" he said smugly, unable to wipe the stupid grin from his face.

"Did you four _marauders _hide everyone's things today?" asked Bella coolly.

"Damn right we did!" James cut in, barely able to hold in his laughter caused by the strange look on Sirius's face. "And you have Sirius to thank for your wonderful school-free holiday!"

He clapped Sirius on the back, who hissed, "What are you doing? It wasn't just me!"

"Just trying to make you look good in front of the girls, mate," James muttered cheekily.

"Oh, shove it!" Sirius whispered, kicking James under the table.

Bella took this all in, barely unable to hold in her own laughter. "So, Black, how'd you do it?"

Sirius quickly spun around from whispering to James and said in a light, offhandish voice, "Oh, a few summoning charms."

"Well, thanks for the chat, Black! We should really talk again some time!" said Bella cheerily, turning back to Lily and Emmeline."I think that would answer your question," she murmured, as all three of them started giggling.

"Ten Galleons says they're giggling over how charming and handsome I am," Sirius said with a satisfied sigh.

"Sighing, Sirius?" said Remus, quirking an eyebrow. "Miss Meadows strike your fancy?"

"Dunno," Sirius mumbled, his cheeks turning a bit pink. "She's pretty."

"So what are you going to do, Sirius?" Peter asked, anticipation evident in his voice.

"Let the old Black charm work a bit more magic?" Sirius said, sounding more smug than he actually felt, as they left their House table and headed up the stairs.

"A Galleon says he's told to buzz off in a week," James muttered to Remus as the Marauders made their way up to Gryffindor Tower.

"Always the optimistic one, aren't you James?" said Remus dryly. "You're on."


	10. Black Faces the Facts

**Disclaimer-** J.K. Rowling? For you baby, I could be. Ha! (shakes head) Puss-in-Boots makes me laugh! (Anybody who doesn't get this go see Shrek 2) Ok anyway... I don't own anything. Incidently I don't own Shrek or Shrek 2 either. Sigh...

**Authoress' Note- **Hola all! Hope you're enjoying the fic. Reviews make me happy which means I'll post more chapters which makes you happy! So overall, it benefits you if you take a couple minutes to review. **E.D.J.**

**P.S.** Sorry, the chapter's a bit titchy.

**marauderluva-17-** NO! Bella is Isabella not Bellatrix! Eww! I'm not that warped!

**ShadowFire2-** Wow you think this is as good as the brilliant Ms. Rowling could do? I am honored that you think so highly of my writing. Yeah and slash is nasty. If it's serious. If it's in some humor/parody fic it can be kinda funny for a few seconds but then you kinda want to hear some other weirdness.

* * *

**Ch. 10- Black Faces the Facts**

"Here he comes again," muttered Emmeline at the sight of Sirius Black striding over to their table from across the common room.

"Can't you just tell him to leave you alone?" hissed Lily as she read over her Herbology essay on Venomous Tentaculas. "He's getting unbearable!"

"Fine I will," Bella whispered back. "He_ is_ getting rather annoying."

Sirius had been trailing Bella everywhere for the past week. He was like a lovesick puppy, and he was always trying to act charming. To the three girls, he was just plain hilarious, but after awhile, it had started to get on their nerves. They couldn't talk anywhere, except their dormitory, without Sirius appearing and attempting to make some witty comment or joke to Bella.

"Why hello, Bella!" said Sirius as if he' d just noticed her, a huge grin on his face. "Fancy meeting you here. Evans, Vance," he said, giving the other two girls a fleeting nod.

"Black," they replied stiffly, barely glancing up at him before returning to their homework.

"Bella, you are looking positively gorgeous today, as always," Sirius simpered brightly.

"You don't look too bad either," she commented, glancing sideways at him.

Sirius grinned a sort of 'don't I know it' sort of smile. "Did you know I come from a very good-looking, very rich family?"

"Obviously," muttered Lily, and Emmeline snorted loudly.

"Yes, you've told me," said Bella distractedly, looking over her star chart for Astronomy. "Several times."

"Well, it's still true today," said Sirius smugly. He sat down next to Bella, scooted his chair a little closer to her, then leaned foward to examine a strand of her blonde hair. "You're hair's so soft and shiny."

"What am I a show dog?" complained Bella irritably.

"Of course not!" said Sirius with a barking laugh. "You're Bella Meadows!"

"Sounds like a show dog to me," Bella muttered darkly, finally meeting his eyes. "Well, it seems to me being pretty is about all you care about, so could you just please just leave me alone, Black?" Her voice had an icy chill to it.

"Fine," said Sirius flatly, stung, standing up. "I'll talk to you later when you're not busy."

"No, leave me alone forever!" snapped Bella angrily.

Sirius looked bewildered for a moment, but then regained his composure, and he strode back over to his friends without a glance backward.

"Thank you!" said Lily, letting out a sigh of relief, "Now we can _finally_ have some peace without him coming in and saying, 'Oh, Bella darling! You're so beautiful! I love you almost as much as I love myself!''"

"Yeah," Bella said, looking a little uncomfortable, "We're only eleven. It's still pretty annoying when boys try to act soppy around me, even if they are cute."

"Are you sure he won't be back?" asked Emmeline worriedly.

"If he does, I'll hex him back in time two-hundred years! Then he can live with his rich, good-looking ancestors!" snapped Bella, rising to her feet. "I'm going to bed; this star chart is hopeless."

* * *

"She told me to leave her alone forever," said Sirius gloomily as he sat down next to James. 

"Too bad, mate," said James absently then he perked up a bit. "I believe you owe me a Galleon, Rem!"

"You bet she'd tell me to shove off?" said Sirius angrily, staring wide-eyed at his supposed best friend. "Why?"

"Because it was fairly obvious, to me at least, that she didn't like you in _that_ kind of way," said James honestly.

"Well, you should have told me!" replied Sirius indignantly. "Then I wouldn't have wasted at that time this past week!"

"Well, it was quite entertaining watching you make a fool out of yourself," said James cynically.

"Like you did over, Evans?" Sirius retorted.

"Don't throw that at me, Sirius!" James snapped back. "That was complete stupidity, and I don' t thank you for reminding me of it."

"Some friend you are," Sirius grumbled, kicking vengefully the table leg. He gave a loud howl of pain as foot hit hard wood, and a long string of curses poured from between his clenched teeth.

This caused everyone in the common room to look around and stare at the first-year who was hopping around cradling his foot and cursing like a sailor.

"Nice," said Peter.

"Good one," added Remus.

"Watch out, the table's rock hard," said James sarcastically, still feeling snarky. "Oops too late. Ouch."

"I'm going to bed before I'm further rejected by girls, made a fool of by my friends, or maimed by table legs!" said Sirius, and he limped towards the stairs to the boys' dormitories shouting a loud: "G'night!"


	11. Remus's Secret Deepens

**Disclaimer:** No one writing Harry Potter fanfiction owns anything!

**Authoress' Note-** Ooh more reviews! Thanks!** E.D.J**

**Xinia Potter-** I'm glad your enjoying my story! Thanks for becoming a reader!

**marauderluva-17-**No, I bet someone on here is twisted enough to do a Sirius/Bellatrix fic. Shudder... they have warped minds!

* * *

**Ch. 11- Remus's Secret Deepens**

Over the next few weeks, Sirius and Bella developed a hate/hate relationship almost as bad as Lily and James's.

"Come on, Sirius!" said Remus, exasperated one day in early December as he dragged Sirius away from taunting Bella for the fifth time during Charms class.

Peter was right next to him dragging James away from insulting Lily.

"Are we the only sane Marauders?" complained Peter as Remus performed a Semi-Permanent Sticking Charm between James, Sirius, and their chairs.

The two boys howled loudly when they found they were stuck to their chairs. They howled even louder when they found that Remus had taken the further precaution to charm their chairs into sticking to the floor.

"Remus, you will be in so much pain once this charm wears off!" said Sirius glaring angrily at Remus.

Remus gave a weak smile. "Well, Peter and I are tired of being the only sane Marauders and having to drag you away from Meadows and Evans every two seconds!"

"Couldn't we insult Snape for a change?" suggested Peter, and he smiled as his two glued-to-their-chairs friends grinned wickedly.

"Well we _have_ been thinking things have been a little too quiet for Snape since that er... Potions mishap," muttered James, grinning.

"We should meet in the common room tonight to brainstorm ideas for a good prank," said Sirius, his eyes glittering, "Snivellus has been downright nasty to us, and we haven't done anything!"

"You've been er... distracted," said Peter, cocking his head at Evans and Meadows across the room and James and Sirius's faces quickly became stormy.

"Well, I think we need a change for now," said James gruffly, taking his eyes off Lily Evans.

"Remmy, you're a criminal mastermind behind that innocent face! Brainstorm some ideas for a spectacular prank for Snivellus!" said Sirius excitedly as the four boys walked to History of Magic.

"Alright I'll try," said Remus quietly, his face ashen.

"Are you alright?" asked Peterm stopping in the middle of the corridor. "You're looking ill again."

"Yeah..." said Remus vaguely. "I don't feel so great. I might see Madam Pomfrey later."

When the boys entered the common room after dinner, Remus's face was even greyer.

"Didn't you go to Madam Pomfrey?" Peter asked worriedly.

"Oh yeah," said Remus in a dazed voice. "I meant to tell you at dinner. Madam Pomfrey said er... my mum's very ill and I... have to see her. I'm going home tonight."

"You won't be able to help us plan Snivellus prank then!" said James, sighing, "But family's more important. It's alright, Rem."

Remus stumbled upstairs and returned carrying a long cloak.

"Do you want us to go downstairs with you?" asked Sirius, concern showing on his usually carefree face.

"No!" said Remus rather quickly. "I'll be fine. I'll see you in... oh probably tomorrow."

He hurried out of the common room.

"I hope Remus's mum is alright," said Peter nervously.

"Well sitting mulling over it won't help," muttered James. "Let's plan Snivellus's downfall!"

"Okay, okay let's see..." said Sirius, rubbing his hands together.

"We already did the Potions spill," said James absently, tapping his quill on a blank piece of parchment.

"Ooh... WARDROBE CHANGE!" said Sirius excitedly.

"Like what?" Peter eyed him skeptically.

"We make his robes all girly pink or something!" said Sirius grinning evilly.

"And a hairstyle change?" suggested Peter.

"Ringlets or something?" said James, his quill moving quickly across the parchment.

"Yeah..." said Peter thoughtfully, "probably colour-change on his hair too."

"Okay first thing tomorrow, go to the library!" said Sirius in a commanding voice. "We look up and learn a Colour-Change Charm and Hairstyle Change Charm. Is that the only spells we'll need?"

"Yep," said James, glancing at the parchment, "Monday, the Marauders attack!"

* * *

The next morning, Peter, James, and Sirius hurried through breakfast and quickly ran to the library.

James quickly found a book called _Hair Charms for the Helpless and Hairless by Belle Beautiford_. He was skimming over a charm to make your hair squeaky clean when a wave of scarlet red hair whacked him across the face and the book was wrenched from his hands.

"Trying to make your hair more manageable, Potter?" smirked Lily as she read the title of the book and glanced at James's messy black hair.

"No!" said James defiantly. "I was looking for a way to permanently turn your hair green!"

"You wouldn't!"

"Oh I would."

Lily thrust the book back at James and stalked out of the library, clutching her hair.

James smirked as he quickly found the charm to make your hair grow in ringlets. He quickly wrote down the incantation and hurried over to Peter and Sirius. "Did you find the Colour-Change Charm yet?" Sirius nodded at Peter whose robes, once black, were now an interesting shade of lime-green. "I suppose that's a yes then," said James with a snort. "I guess we can think of a good prank without Remmy every once in a while."

As if on cue, Remus stumbled through the library doors and over to the table his friends were sitting at. "In the library?" he asked incredulously. "I look everywhere for youblokes and I find you in the library?"

"Shocking, innit?" said James with a slight grin. "We needed to look up some charms for Snivellus's prank."

"Oh, do tell," said Remus, excitement showing on his tired face. The three boys quickly explained the plans for the prank and Remus nodded saying, "Brilliant!"

"How's your mum?" Peter asked worriedly.

"A bit better. I er... probably will go see her again at the er... end of the month."

"Well you missed an awesome full moon in Astronomy last night!" said James, leaning back in his chair.

"Really?" said Remus, slightly shaking.

"Oh yes!" said Peter, nodding, "It was so huge!"

"And there was all this howling and stuff," said Sirius, his face bright. "Probably from the Forbidden Forest. Reckon there's a werewolf or werewolves in there. They do transform at the full moon, eh?"

"Wow, that'd be cool if that's what it was," said James, looking thoughtful. "Spooky though."

"Yeah neat," said Remus uncomfortably. "So when are we going to prank Snape?"

"Monday," said Sirius. "So, today and tomorrow we can learn and practice the charms."

"I reckon we should learn some jinxes and hexes in advance," said James. "Then we don't have to waste all are Saturdays in the library."

Sirius and Remus quickly went to the Jinxes, Hexes, and Curses section of the library and checked out four huge books on the subject.

"How'd you convince Madam Pince to let you check them out?" said Peter as they trudged up to Gryffindor Tower. "Didn't she suspect they were for pranks?"

"We told her they were for Charms homework," muttered Sirius with a loud guffaw.

"We'd better go through the books now," said James, sitting down at a table in the common room. "After we use some of the jinxes on Snivellus, Madam Pince will probably confiscate them."

The other boys nodded and they spent the rest of the weekend taking notes on various jinxes and curses and practicing the charms they needed for Snivellus's prank.

* * *

Hee hee I love my Semi-Permanent Sticking Charm part in this chapter! Reviews make your authoress happy!** E.D.J.**


	12. Professor Wolcosh Tells All

**Ze Disclaimer-** La la la la... Don't own anything... la la la la...

**Ze Authoress's Note-**Sorry about the lack of updating! I've been kicking myself because I haven't been working on the book I plan on trying to get published, so I took a break from fanfiction and worked on that story.** E.D.J.**

**(1) **I know that Mrs. Norris from Harry's years at Hogwarts wouldn't have been around in the seventies (I'm not an idiot; I know cats don't live as long as people), so I've decided Filch has always had an awful cat named Mrs. Norris, but there have been three or so cats throughout Filch's career as Hogwarts caretaker. **  
**

**Ze Reviewer thank you's!**

**majohime-**Yay! New reviewer! Glad you love the story!

**ShadowFire2-**One of my loyal reviewers! Tear! I'm glad you don't mind me being mean to Sirius and Snape will be very cute. Most embarassing for a slimy Slytherin.

**Professor Drusilla W.L. Silvers**-Yay! I do well in the art of pessimism and I'm going on your favourite's list! I consider myself somewhat of a pessimist so that's probably why you think I did so well. And yes I also love James's line of: "Bet you a Galleon she tells him to buzz off." Lovely.

* * *

**Ch. 12- Professor Wolcosh Tells All**

On Monday, all four boys woke up early, eager for the thrill of pulling an excellent prank.

"Do we really have to wait until Potions to put the charms on Snivellus?" whined Sirius, slumping his shoulders as he put on his shoes.

"No ..." said Remus thoughtfully. a glint in his eyes. "We could do them at breakfast!"

"Perfect!" agreed James. "Then the whole school will see him!"

"We still have to test the ringlets hair charm!" piped up Peter. "Unless one of us wants to have his hair in ringlets for the next two weeks."

The boys quickly finished getting dressed and rushed out of Gryffindor Tower, eager to find someone to test the ringlet charm on.

When they got to the fourth floor, James quickly herded his friends back into an empty classroom.

"Test subject found!" he hissed. "Mrs. Norris is around the corner!" **(1) **

"Excellent!" squeaked Peter. "I hate that cat!"

"Who doesn't?" muttered Remus, giving an involuntary twitch, as if he'd like nothing better than to hunt and roast the cat himself. "She's practically Satan, if he was partial to looking cute, fluffy, and _seemingly _innocent."

"Stop chatting! I'm going to do the charm!" Sirius murmured, inching his way out the door.

"She better not see you!" James hissed. "She'll find Filch, and I swear on the Sorting Hat they have some kind of psychic connection. Mrs. Norris will be able to tell him exactly who charmed her!"

"Please. Do you think I'd be so foolish as to let that cat know I'd jinxed her?" Sirius scoffed.

"Well, last week when you jinxed that fifth-year Slytherin ... what was her name? Ah, Nicola Landon! After you jinxed Nicola Landon, you spent about five minutes dancing on top of the House table screeching, 'I jinxed Nicola!' and believe me she heard you. Didn't you wonder where all those boils came from?" asked Remus, a small smirk forming on his face.

"Well I'll be more careful this time, Remus 'I remember every little thing' Lupin!" huffed Sirius. "Now shut your mouth!"

Sirius inched himself around the corner and saw the evil cat prowling the empty corridor, her lamp-like eyes fixed on Peeves, the school poltergeist, who was banging around inside a suit of armor farther down the corridor. He pulled out his wand, muttered the incantation, and white light shot at Mrs. Norris. In the blink of an eye, Mrs. Norris's scraggly gray fur was in perfect ringlets. The cat yowled and hissed loudly and then streaked down the corridor toward Sirius's hiding spot.

Sirius began inching backwards, desperate not to be seen, before Remus's arm snaked out and pulled him inside the classroom just as Mrs. Norris rounded the corner.

"Good work!" said James, peering through a crack in the door. "I think she looks much more ... springy!"

The four boys laughed and stepped outside cautiously when James gave the 'all clear'.

"Thank you for your flattering compliments, Jamesie!" said Sirius smugly, eyeing himself in a tall mirror on the corridor wall. He leaned forward until his forehead touched the mirror. "You handsome devil you!Hey what the--" he shouted, falling forward.

The mirror had disappeared, leaving only the tall gilt frame and revealing a large earthy passageway. Sirius rolled down inside shouting loud curses as he came to a stop.

"Look at that!" said Remus, peering inside. "A secret passageway!"

"My dad told me there's loads here," said James, stepping inside and peering around. "He said only a few students were lucky enough to find any of them while he was at Hogwarts."

"I wonder where this goes ..." said Sirius, jumping up and brushing dirt off his robes.

"Let's follow it!" said James eagerly, starting down the passageway.

"We have Snape's prank though!" said Remus, holding back. "Let's explore it during break."

"Fine," said James sadly. "To the Great Hall!"

The boys hurried down four flights of stairs to the Great Hall. They went in and strode purposefully past the Slytherin table. As they passed Snape's back, James, Sirius, and Remus held their wands low and muttered their charms' incantations. Then they made their way to the Gryffindor table and sat down, ready to look innocent.

In a moment, there was a loud howl from the Slytherin table, and everyone in the Great Hall whirled around. Severus Snape was shrieking loudly as he pulled at his pink robes and long blonde ringlets.

"Wow you look so pretty, Snivellus!" shouted Sirius over the din and laughter. "Just like a little _girl_!"

"You did this!" snarled Snape, his face contorted in fury as he pulled out his wand. "I will personally see that you never--"

"MR. SNAPE!" called a loud voice, and Professor Wolcosh strode over to Snape, a look of thunderous disapproval on her face . "Magic is not allowed outside the classroom!"

"Black did this to me!" thundered Snape, pointing at his hair and robes and then at Sirius.

"Minerva!" screeched Professor Wolcosh, her face darkening to a bright shade of magenta. "You're assistance is needed!"

Professor McGonagall appeared near the Gryffindor table, a slight smile on her face, as she asked, "Yes, Azalea?"

"It seems a member of your House, Mr. Black, has taken the liberty to ridicule young Mr. Snape," said Professor Wolcosh coolly, nodding at Snape, who was at the moment, trying to keep his house-mates at bay as they kept tugging at his blonde ringlets.

"Does Mr. Snape have any proof of this?" said Professor McGonagall, her voice light and unconcerned.

"Erm ... no," admitted Snape, smacking Rodolphus Lestrange's hand as the boy reached for his curls again.

"Well, then I will have to say that Black is innocent until proven guilty," said Professor McGonagall before walking back to the staff table, leaving Professor Wolcosh and Snape gaping and looking very angry.

"Well, I suppose I cannot punish you, Black," said Professor Wolcosh through gritted teeth, dislike showing on her face. She looked as if she'd rather pull out her own hair then let Sirius Black get away with anything, but she whirled around angrily without another word and smacked her shins against the Hufflepuff table. She gave a loud howl and cursed spectacularly before limping out of the Great Hall with a last disdainful look at the Gryffindor and Hufflepuff tables.

"You're just going to leave me like this?" howled Snape, but Professor Wolcosh was already gone.

"We know it's early but ... Happy Christmas, Snivellus!" chorused the four Marauders, raising glasses of pumpkin juice to Snape in a mock toast. They downed their pumpkin juice, ignoring the purely spiteful look on Snape's face.

* * *

"Brilliant prank, mates!" said James as the four boys headed to their Potions lesson. "Snivellus looked as if he was ready to curse us to Siberia and back!"

They walked much more slowly than usual because they knew what kind of mood Professor Wolcosh would be in, and they were sure Snape wouldn't be happy to see them either.

"He'll probably be able to get someone to take the Color-Change Charm off his robes, but he'll have those curls for two weeks!" said Sirius gleefully, punching the air triumphantly as they walked gingerly down the grimy steps to their dungeon classroom.

They opened the door and were happy to find that Snape had not found time to change his robes before lessons, though he had acquired a large pointed hat, which hardly hid the fact that his hair was no longer black.

"Maybe we should clean his hair too," remarked James, remembering the incantation for making your hair squeaky clean.

"Be our guest," said Remus, biting back a smile.

James muttered the incantation, and a large watery cloud appeared around Snape's head. Squirting, scrubbing, and wind-like sounds gave from within the cloud. The noise (except for Snape's screaming) eventually stopped, and the watery cloud disappeared, leaving Snape with squeaky clean blonde ringlets.

"Now he's a squeaky clean little girl!" shouted Sirius, sounding like nothing could amuse him more.

Snape's fellow Slytherins all gaped in wonder and began reaching again for Snape's ringlets to feel if his hair was actually clean.

"Stop it, you idiots!" said Snape, pulling out his wand and glaring menacingly at them all. "Haven't you ever seen a bloke with clean hair before?"

"Well, you never have clean hair!" protested Edgar Goyle before he became distracted by something shiny on the table he and Victor Crabbe shared.**  
**  
"Professor Wolcosh!" said Snape, running over to the teacher as she entered the classroom. "Black, used a spell to wash my hair!"

"Well it_ is_ an improvement from those greasy locks you usually have," stated Professor Wolcosh. "However, Mr. Black, ten points from Gryffindor for unauthorized washing of another student's hair."

"You just made that rule up!" Sirius protested.

"Another ten points from Gryffindor for questioning a teacher's authority!" spat Professor Wolcosh. "Would you like to test me further, Mr. Black?"

"No, Professor," Sirius said sullenly, staring into the depths of his cauldron.

"Today we will be learning about Truthfulness Potions such as Veritaserum," said Professor Wolcosh, and she began to start in on what was soon to be known as a long and very boring lecture.

Sirius felt something hit his shoulder, and he carefully reached down for the scrap of parchment at his feet.

Later it read:

_Don't worry, S. Only a few more days and we'll be free of the old bat for three weeks! J _

_She's not that old. She's quite pretty in a bite-your-head-off kind of way. S_

_Are you telling us you fancy our_ evil Potions professor_? R_

_No! Bloody hell no! I was just trying to tell J that she's not old though she is an evil bat! S_

_Won't we get in trouble for passing notes? P_

_Shut it! J, S, R_

_Are we Marauders or goody-goody rule enforcers? J_

_Marauders. P_

_Remember that! S_

_I will. P_

_You'd better. J and S_

_How long until we can explore that secret passageway? S_

_Twenty-three minutes. R_

_How 'bout now? S_

_Twenty-two minutes. R_

_How long... arrgh! Ouch! Bloody hell, J! S_

_It slipped. J_

_How can your wand 'slip' and jam itself up someone's nose? R_

_One can only wonder ... J_

_R, how in the name of Merlin do Truthfulness Potions relate to ... er ... what class are we in? S_

_Potions! J, R, P_

_Oh, right. I suppose that's why we're learning about them, eh? Damn, this is boring to listen to. S_

_Do you think Snivellus would mind if I levitated his cauldron to dump his potion on Professor W.? J_

_Yes, but we don't mind. S, R, P_

_Ooh look at Snape's face! R_

_He's in for it. She doesn't seem to appreciate the benefits of wearing pink slime. P_

"Mr. Snape!" shrieked Professor Wolcosh, pink potion dripping into her eyes. "You have a lot of explaining to do!"

"But--but I didn't do it!" protested Snape, ringlets flying as he vigorously shook his head.

"Well, why would someone else feel the need to dump your potion on me?" She glared angrily at the class, who smiled sympathetically and shrugged innocently while really, inside their heads, they were laughing their heads off.

"Thirty points from Slytherin, Snape! And detention!"

"But, Professor ..."

Just then, a large drop of potion dripped down her face and into Professor Wolcosh's screaming mouth. A dreamy look appeared on her face, and Rodolphus Lestrange asked tentatively, "Are you alright, Professor?"

"Oh, I'm just fine!" sang Professor Wolcosh, a wide smile on her face.

"The truthfulness potion!" hissed Remus. "She has to tell the truth until it wears off!"

"Oh this will be fun," said Sirius, sidling over to the professor. "Why do you hate me, Professor?" he asked innocently.

"You're a nasty toerag of a Gryffindor, a failure to your family, and a disgrace to all purebloods!" the teacher replied.

"Well, that's a bit of an obvious answer taken she's the Head of Slytherin," muttered James. "Professor? What did you really think of our pranks on Snape?"

"Oh I thought the one this morning was quite funny. Until I found out that you were the ones who did it. Severus Snape really is a little annoying slimeball."

Snape's jaw dropped as he heard the Head of his House insulting him. "I am not annoying!" he spat. "Why am I annoying?"

"You always complain to me when other people humiliate you! Why not just leave me alone and humiliate them right back?"

"Oh." Snape sat back down, looking defeated.

"Were you really in Slytherin?" asked James, squinting suspiciously at her.

"No, I was in Hufflepuff," said Professor Wolcosh, a look of extreme distaste on her face. "I pleaded with the Sorting Hat to put me in Slytherin, but it thought I lacked the cunning. So I was put in Hufflepuff, and my family considered me a complete disgrace! Even my own brother wouldn't speak to me during school! The Wolcoshs were _always _in Slytherin! Until me." Professor Wolcosh sobbed into her robes and said in a hard voice: "I hated the idiotic Mudbloods I was forced to a share a House with. I was glad that the noble House of Slytherin didn't let in scum like that!"

She drew a shaky breath and glared at a few Gryffindor students who happened to be Muggle-born, all of whom looked very offended.

"I knew I belonged in Slytherin, so I distanced myself from my housemates and made rude comments about my House and all others that weren't Slytherin. I never had any House pride because I didn't want to be associated with the 'loyal, hardworking' Hufflepuff scum. Most people assumed, after meeting me, that I was in Slytherin, and I didn't correct them. Better to just be thought of as a Slytherin than to have anyone to find out the horrible truth."

"Wow she's cracked," whispered Remus just as Professor Wolcosh's face lost its dreamy vacant look.

"What are you all staring at?" she shrieked, her face red and blotchy. "Twenty points from Gryffindor for leaving your potions unattended. As for you, Mr. Snape, you will receive detention along with five points taken from Slytherin. Ugh! I must get this stuff off me! _Scourgify_!" She waved her wand and the Truthfulness Potion disappeared from her robes.

The class proceeded in its normal way for the rest of the hour, but the Gryffindor students were in a much brighter mood while the Slytherins all looked like they'd been petrified.

Professor Wolcosh never figured out how, but by the end of the week the whole school knew her whole miserable Hogwarts experience. We have our favorite Marauders to thank.

* * *

Wow! Pranks on both Snape and evil Professor Wolcosh? I should be hearing loud cheers in my reviews! **E.D.J.**


	13. We've Found a Way to Hogsmeade!

**Disclaimer- **"Let's say I got some money from writing this story and I bought a really great pair of shoes. Do you know what I would hear with every step I took'Harry Potter is not mine, not mine.' And even if I was happy and skipping I'd hear 'He's not not mine, not not mine' " Anyway to suffice Harry Potter is not mine and neither is the TV show Friends. Hopefully most of you recognized that as a Friends' quote.

**Authoress' Note-** This chapter is dedicated to my new favorite reviewer **blinkgurl017 **because she said she was sure my book I'm writing will get published even without ever reading any of it! Thank you so much for the confidence boost! Also **ShadowFire2**, you are still one of my favorite reviewers because awhile back you said this story is as good as Ms. Rowling could do! Thank you! **E.D.J.**

**Here are my other thank yous!**

**ShadowFire2**-Thanks for your loyal reviewing and it's fine if you can't review this one!

**Professor D. S. Silvers- **You like to change your pen name don't you? Well thanks for the loud cheer!

**majohime**-I am almost positive Lily will be in the next chapter, but I'm not sure because I stil have to write it! Tsk tsk. I'm behind!

**blinkgurl017**-Thanks for the long review!

* * *

**Ch. 13- We've Found a Way to Hogsmeade!**

"Geroff, Peter! Let me do it!" hissed Sirius, shoving Peter out of the way, so he himself could lean against the mirror.

The large mirror disappeared, revealing the same earthy passageway the Marauders had found earlier that day.

"Finally!" breathed Remus. "I thought Potions would never end! Can you believe Professor Wolcosh was in _Hufflepuf_f?"

"No, but everyone else will." Sirius grinned evilly, as they started down the wide tunnel, kicking up dust clouds as they went, causing the boys to cough and choke.

"Where do you think this leads?" James sputtered as the tunnel got darker and darker.

The boys all muttered "_Lumos_!" eager for some light.

"I dunno," said Peter, raising his wand above his head and glancing around at the hard-packed dirt floor and walls. "Somewhere else in the castle?"

"Are there any hidden passages that lead out of the castle?" Remus wondered aloud, even though he knew perfectly well that there was at least one.

"That'd be brilliant if it does!" James said excitedly, kicking up another dirt cloud, causing the boys to promptly start coughing once again.

"Like out onto the grounds or -- OW!" Sirius massaged his head, cursing as the passage ended abruptly.

The boys found that Sirius had smashed into an ancient, rotting wooden door at the end of the passageway. James reached for the doorknob while Sirius whined and moaned over his injured head, and Remus and Peter sighed at having to listen to Sirius's endless complaints.

James wiped a large amount of cobwebs from the doorknob with the end of his robes and then jiggled the rusty knob. The door slid open soundlessly.The boys ducked under the low, rotting doorway and found themselves faced with a large amount of musty, old, emerald-colored fabric.

They could hear voices on the other side of the material, and they slowly sidled out and found themselves inside a small, rather dusty shop filled with a variety of magical instruments and equipment such as brass scales and lunascopes.

The fabric turned out to be an old, tattered tapestry portraying a small burning hill village and a group of wizards subduing a large black dragon with a number of colorful and dangerous-looking spells. The tapestry looked as if it hadn't been moved in centuries. One would wonder if the owners had ever discovered the passageway to Hogwarts hidden in their shop.

"Welcome ter Dervish and Banges!" boomed a deep voice, and the four boys jumped a few feet in the air and whirled around. "Can I help yeh boys with anything?" asked the large mustached clerk behind them. "I'm Mister Banges. I cause a lot o' bangs if yeh know what I mean." He laughed heartily at his poor joke, and the Marauders gave weak smiles. "So, boys, need anything?" asked Mr. Banges, peering suspiciously at them, wondering what four boys were doing in the village on a school day, especially in the middle of the afternoon.

"Oh er ... no. We're fine," said James nervously, shifting anxiously from foot to foot.

The man continued to squint at them for a moment before finally saying, "What yeh boys doin' in Hogsmeade? I'm supposed ter report in if I catches any students out o' school."

"Oh, you think we're at Hogwarts already?" said Sirius, laughing loudly, as he racked his brain for an excuse. "No, we'll be starting next year. We just came here from Surrey with our families for a er ... day trip."

"Yes! Hogsmeade's a very interesting place," Remus added enthusiastically."So much history!"

Mr. Banges nodded. "Only place in Britain with no Muggles about." He smiled at the Marauders and then went and busied himself behind the register, not paying them another glance, despite Sirius's poor lie.

"Hogsmeade! We're in Hogsmeade!" hissed Sirius once the man was out of earshot.

"Students aren't allowed here unless it's a special weekend! And even then you have to be in the third year! We might get caught!" Peter murmured worriedly, wringing his hands.

"All the better reason to explore now!" said Sirius, grinning an evil smile, and he walked out of the shop, dragging a protesting Peter along with him as James and Remus followed.

The boys shivered, cold frosty air biting through their clothing, as they stepped outside. They hadn't thought to bring cloaks with them. They trudged through the deep snow, passing many different shops including a particular appealing one: a bright, colorfully decorated shop called Zonko's Joke Shop.

They eagerly went in, and the boys gazed in wonder at the sight before them. Everything they could ever use for pranking was there! Dungbombs, Exploding Quills, Non-Exploding Luminous Balloons, and even fake rats that would scuttle around and scare your friends!

But their happy moods soon deflated. They hadn't thought to bring any gold with them.

"Damn, I should have brought a few coins with!" said James sulkily, sticking his hands in his pockets. "Hey! My Galleon from winning the bet about Sirius and ..." He trailed off, as he caught sight of Sirius glaring at him for bringing up that particular memory. "Anyway ... let's buy as many things as we can!"

The boys collected a small pile of items to buy, including shampoo which made the victim's hair change a rainbow of colors for twenty-four hours, some blue powder that made any food or drink taste like vomit, and a piece of parchment that insulted anyone who read it.

"We should give the shampoo to Evans and Meadows for Christmas!" hissed James gleefully, as they trudged up High Street, their pockets full to bursting.

"Brilliant idea, Jamesie!" said Sirius, grinning as he ducked James's swinging fist.

"Wow, look at that!" breathed James, as they came to a stop and gazed up at a large rickety old house perched on top of the nearby hill. "What do reckon that is?" He cocked his head at the house, which was quite literally falling to pieces.

"Let's ask," said Sirius, shoving Peter over to where a black-haired woman was clearing snow away from the post office's entryway with her wand.

"Er ... excuse me," said Peter nervously, his voice rather high. "Could you tell us what that house is?" He pointed up the hill.

"Ah that's the Shrieking Shack," said the woman wisely. "Lots o' howls and shrieks have been comin' out of there lately. Here, in the village, we think a couple o' rowdy spirits have moved in there. Haunted place. Boys shouldn't go any nearer. There's no tellin' what those spirits could do to you if you get too close."

"Thank you," said Peter, bobbing his head at the woman, who shivered and went inside the post office. Peter then relayed what the woman had said back to his friends.

"I er ... don't know about you but I don't want to disturb ... what was it again? 'A couple o' rowdy spirits'," said Remus, imitating the woman. "Anyway, I want to get back to school. Herbology starts in fifteen minutes."

"Aren't you the little swot, Remmy?" said James, smirking. "Honestly, wanting to get back to school! I'd rather eat dragon dung!"

Remus glared at James, not knowing if it was because James had called him a swot _and_ Remmy or because they'd be late for Herbology if they didn't get back soon. He supposed it was a bit of each and the fact that they were so near the Shrieking Shack. It made him feel very uneasy. He shivered, knowing it had nothing to do with the cold.

"All for skiving off Herbology in favor of some well-deserved fun?" said Sirius, plopping himself down in the snow and instantly regretting it as his robes became damp.

"I'm in!" said James, grinning as he sat down next to his friend, even though Sirius had already begun complaining about how wet and cold he was.

"Oh alright as long as we don't go near that Shrieking Shack. It gives me the creeps." Remus sat down too and yelped as frigid coldness bit through his robes.

"Well, if everyone else is staying!" said Peter, throwing himself down in the snow and spraying snow at his friends.

"Hey!" shouted Sirius. "Now I'm even more wet!"

He threw a handful of snow at Peter, who ducked and Sirius's snowball hit James instead. James tried to hit Sirius with another snowball, but ended up hitting Remus full in the face. Soon, the boys had a full-fledged snowball fight going on.

"That was stupid," said James, a few minutes later, his teeth chattering as the boys shivered in their wet robes. 

"Very stupid indeed," said Sirius. His lips were blue, and he rubbed his hands together for warmth. "I blame you, Peter," he added.

"Hey!" said Peter, pushing Sirius into a snowdrift.

"I quite agree with your opinion, Sirius," said James, and he shoved Peter into the snow beside Sirius.

Remus, not wanting to end up in the snow too, crept up behind James and tapped his shoulder.

"Wha--" began James before his words were muffled, as he was pushed headfirst into a mound of snow.

"Now you'll get it!" yelled James around a mouthful of snow, and he got up and began advancing toward Remus.

"Tsk, tsk," replied Remus condescendingly. "You may want to know something first."

"What?" sighed James.

"I happen to know a drying spell, and, if I end up in the snow, I will personally make sure all three of you stay as wet as water."

"Very wet then," commented Sirius.

"Ok you win, Remmy ol' pal," said James, backing away and plastering on a fake smile.

"How about that drying spell then?" said Sirius, standing up and shaking snow out of his dark hair. "Some of us are quite chilled. And did I mention that you, Remus, are one of the most accomplished wizards I have ever had the privilege of meeting?"

Peter and James nodded and murmured, "Yes, so very accomplished."

Remus muttered something that sounded like 'no good brown-nosers' before muttering the spell and pointing his wand at himself and each of his friends.

"Thank you!" screeched Sirius, kneeling down and pretending to kiss Remus's feet while getting his robes wet again in the process."I'm wet again!" he moaned.

"What a newsflash!" muttered Remus, performing the drying spell again.

"Anyway what time is it, Remus?" asked James, shrugging off yet more snow that the drying spell hadn't managed to get.

"A quarter 'til six," said Remus absently, glancing at his watch. He gasped and looked at it again. "We've missed Defense Against the Dark Arts _and_ Herbology!"

"Don't panic, Remmy," said James, yawning.

"We have dinner in fifteen minutes! I'm already panicking!" replied Remus frantically.

"Fine we'll go back, no need to throw a tantrum, Remmy!" James declared.

"Thank you."

Remus dragged his three friends back to Dervish and Banges, wondering how in Merlin's good name they were supposed to slip behind the tapestry without looking like a bunch of crazy loons, especially when the shop was empty of customers.

"Back again, boys?" asked Mr. Banges, striding over to them with a tall thin man in tow.

"Hello, Mr. Banges," said James politely. "We're just waiting for our parents."

"Greetings! This is my associate Mr. Dervish." Mr. Banges motioned at the man beside him.

"Welcome, boys," said the thin man, squinting suspiciously at them. "What brings you four to Hogsmeade?"

"We're on a day trip with our parents," Peter responded automatically.

"Interesting," said Mr. Dervish lightly, his pale eyes narrowed. "Shouldn't you be in school?"

"School?" said Sirius, laughing nervously. "We aren't even first years yet."

"Really?" said Mr. Dervish, eyeing them suspiciously. "How ... fortunate. We wouldn't want to send the lot of you back up to school and have you expelled, would we?"

As the other three continued to chatter nervously with the two shopkeepers, James slowly pulled his wand out and hid it behind his back. He muttered a spell before glancing out the window and exclaiming, "Look! There's a fire!"

"Where?" yelped the two men, sprinting outside to douse the large blaze James had conjured up with his wand.

"Now go!" James screeched, and the four boys dashed to the tapestry and flung it aside. They whisked the door open and were gone before you could say "_Tarentallegra_."

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Please review! I want to get up to 40-45 reviews before I post the next chapter so that means I need 10-15 reviews! Review and tell your friends about the story and have them review and have them tell their friends about the story and have them review and so on and so forth! **E.D.J.**


	14. Happy Christmas from the Marauders

**Disclaimer-**I don't own it and never will! Don't remind me.

**Authoress' Note**-Yay reviews! Happy Christmas four months early! I really like this chapter because I get to make Sirius act like a geek more! It's very entertaining. I know I didn't meet the review number I wanted to, but it's not that far away from 40 reviews! **E.D.J.**

**Thanks to all my lovely reviewers who give me lovely reviews!  
**

**blinkgurl017-**No I reserve all rights to torment Peter! No actually torment him all you want. You SHOULD be honoured to be my favorite reviewer because I am very honor worthy. That doesn't make much sense but oh well. Anyway you'll get a bit more Sirius stupidity in here! Actually it's more geeky weird Sirius, but it's all good!

**Sarahlouhardy**-I like my comments too! It's fun to go back and read the weird stuff I added in! I guess I do it because I really really want to be in the world of Harry Potter, but sadly can't due to it being fictional. ( Audience GASP!)

**Professor D. S. Silvers**- Can you just add the title you thought up to your next review?

**La Conquistadora**- Yes we must pity Remus until his fellow Marauders find out the truth. And boys never learn.

**Ryder**-Glad you like the story and the idea for my book! Yes I like popping into the story ever once and awhile to harass the characters, but I'm not going to do it that often because it would become too much like my Crazy Chats with the Harry Potter Characters fic and I want this story to have plot and to be realistic! If you want to read craziness, randomness, and me making the Harry Potter hate me read Crazy Chats.

**ShadowFire2**-Yeah I like making the characters call each other cutesy nicknames!

**acatm**-Yay I'm entertaining!

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**Ch. 14- Happy Christmas From the Marauders**

A week and a half later, it was Christmas Eve, and the four Marauders sat muttering in front of the fire in the empty Gryffindor common room.

"Bloody good luck they stayed for the holidays. 'Course we could have always pranked them when term starts up again, but I think during the holidays it's--" began Sirius.

"Shut it, Sirius! Someone might hear!" James hissed, throwing a quill at his friend.

"Oh right, James. Sorry."

"Can we summon their shampoo bottles yet?" Remus asked irritably, running a hand through his hair tiredly.

"Oh cranky, are we, Remmy?" asked Sirius.

"It's one o'clock in the morning, Sirius! I'm surprised you're not bombarding us with your complaints of how tired or bored or hungry _you _are!" Remus retorted.

"But I'm not ... Wait! Remus I _am _hungry!"

"Oh, Remus, now look what you did! You had to mention his stomach, so now he'll whine to us until he's able to stuff his face!" Peter moaned, and he buried his head in the sofa cushions.

"Yeesh. Peter's cranky too," Sirius observed.

"I would prefer the term 'Siriusly aggravated' if you don't mind," said Peter's muffled voice.

"Hey, is that a pun on my name?"

"Well spotted, Sirius," Peter responded acidly.

"Yeesh. Peter's worse than Remus! I think I'll just stay over here by Jamesie!" Sirius began to scoot farther down the sofa.

"Don't come near me, Black!" James snapped, shoving Sirius away.

"Everybody hates me!" groaned Sirius, his voice a high-pitched whine by this point.

"Can we get this over with so we can go to bed?" yawned Remus.

"Oh right ... _Accio first year Gryffindor girls' shampoo bottles_!"

After James muttered the spell, five bottles of shampoo floated down the girls' dormitory staircase and onto the table next to the four Marauders.

"Do you have the Zonko's stuff?" James muttered hurriedly.

Remus nodded and pulled out a large silver bottle labeled _Merlin's Marvelous, Most Colourful Hair! Lasts for 24 hours of colourful fun! Warning: Do not ingest. Will result in internal discomfort and major organ discolouration. Merlin Pranks Inc. is not liable for any burning, itching, irreversible hair colouring, or total hair loss. _

"So, we just have to make sure the girls are dumb enough to drink their shampoo?" snickered Sirius as he scrutinized the shampoo bottle.

"And it's a possibility they could go bald," added Peter.

Sirius shrugged. "Not important."

The boys carried the girls' shampoo bottles up to their own bathroom and proceeded to dump their entire contents down the drain. Remus uncapped their own special bottle of shampoo and poured equal amounts of rainbow-coloured liquid into the five bottles and shook them up thoroughly. Sirius muttered a handy charm over them, so a message from the Marauders would appear in the air every time the shampoo was used. James quickly used a Banishing Charm to send the shampoo back to the girls' bathroom, and the Marauders stumbled tiredly to bed.

* * *

"Lily! Wake up! It's Christmas!" shouted Bella, whacking Lily across the head with her pillow. 

"What?" muttered Lily, rubbing at her eyes.

"IT-IS-CHRISTMAS!" Bella stated slowly, as if she was talking to a four-year-old.

"Oh right!" Lily scrambled to the end of her bed and began eyeing the nice-sized pile of gifts placed there.

"Blimey, forgetting Christmas! Where's your head these days, Lils?" asked Emmeline, yawning from her position at the foot of her own bed.

"It's focused on all that homework McGonagall gave us," muttered Lily. "And everything Flitwick gave us, and Wolcosh, and Binns, and--"

"Okay, okay we get the point. We don't need a full-blown rant, Lils," Emmeline said, cutting Lily off before she got into a full-blown rant.

"Where's Deidra and Faye?" asked Lily curiously.

Deidra Lennox and Faye Edstrom were the girls' other roommates. Deidra was small, blonde, and reminded Lily very much of her sister Petunia at times, much to her dismay. Faye was raven-haired, tall, and a pureblood of very old money whose nose always turned up at the sight of Lily in her Muggle clothing.

"Asleep!" hissed Emmeline, motioning for Lily to speak softly. "Be quiet! You know those two hate us! What's the use of waking them up so they can pester us to death?"

"Good thinking."

"Can we get to those presents now?" asked Bella, tapping her foot impatiently.

"Common room!" breathed Lily, scooping her own gifts into her arms.

The girls carried their small piles of gifts down to the empty common room and proceeded to open them and exclaim over them to each other:

"Sugar Quills! My favorite! Thanks, Em!"

"Lily, this is so pretty!"

"Mum expects me to wear _this_?" Bella held up a bright pink and green jumper covered in flashing gold stars and grimaced.

"It's really ... it's ... so ..." stammered Emmeline, trying to find the right words.

"Hideous is what it is," Bella sighed and she flung the jumper on the floor on top of her ever growing pile of gift wrap.

"If you say so."

"And you're _mum _made that for you?" Lily asked, bewildered.

"Oh, no. It's from my great-aunt Eulalia. All she does is knit things. Not well I'm afraid." Bella shook her head at the poor excuse for a eleven-year-old girl's jumper and grimaced again.

"What are you going to do with it?"

"Hmmm ... maybe I can use some Shrinking Solution on it and tell Mum the house elves shrunk it in the laundry!" Bella said, a small secretive grin appearing on her face."Yes, that just may work..."

* * *

"Remmy, Jamesie, Frank! Up up up! Christmas is here! Full of good cheer! And Peter and I, we're siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiingiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing!" sang Sirius loudly as he marched around the room with Peter in tow. 

Literally in tow because Sirius had somehow put a charm on Peter's hands so that they stuck to the hem of Sirius's robes. Peter was being dragged violently across the floor as Sirius marched back in forth between the beds singing loudly and rather out of key.

"What is that awful noise?" Frank shouted over the din, rubbing his eyes sleepily.

"Sirius," said James and Remus simultaneously, covering their heads with their pillows to block out the dreadful noise.

"Where's Peter?" asked Frank loudly over the racket Sirius was making.

"I'm ...OUCH ... down ...OW ... here!" Peter gasped as he was slammed rather violently into the side of Remus's trunk when Sirius walked over to Remus's bed.

"Remmy, come and sing with me!" shouted Sirius, grabbing Remus around the ankles and attempting to drag him from his bed while Remus desperately clung to one of his bedpost in an effort to get Sirius to release him. He wasn't eager to sing with Sirius.

"But Remmy ..." moaned Sirius, pulling harder at Remus's ankles and causing Remus to give a yelp of pain. "Singing is fun! I'll show you!"

Sirius launched into a horrible rendition of Jingle Bells (with much of the words wrong)and began trying to pry Remus's hands from the bedpost.

"Where'd you learn that song?" Peter asked, happy to have stopped being dragged around the floor for a few moments. "Isn't it a Muggle song? You're a pureblood!"

Sirius stopped singing and looked contemplative. "I dunno. I think some Hufflepuff was singing it in the halls." He launched back into singing until James finally threw his pillow across the room, grabbed his wand, and shouted, "_Silencio_!"

Sirius's voice was immediately gone. He angrily pouted and mouthed curses at James, but nothing happened. Sirius then strode over to pummel James.

"Thank you," sighed Remus, glad that Sirius had finally given up on his attempt to pry him from his bed.

"Can we do presents or what?" asked Frank, staring eagerly at the pile of gifts at the end of his bed.

"Yes!" shouted everyone except Sirius, who merely nodded and stopped throwing his school textbooks at James.

* * *

The girls had since finished opening their presents and had gone back up to their dormitory. 

"I'm done, Lils!" said Bella, coming out of the bathroom, combing her wet hair as she went.

"Finally!" sighed Lily. "I can't believe I agreed to shower last! The rest of you take forever!"

Bella shrugged and motioned at herself. "It takes a lot to look this good."

"You sound like Black," Lily muttered, dodging a curse from Bella and running into the bathroom.

She turned on the shower and let in warm up before stepping inside. Then she washed her hair thoroughly not noticing the change in her shampoo's colour. Lily heard a shriek inside the girls' bedroom, but she assumed Faye had probably just broken a nail or something and was mourning over the tragedy of said sad event. Then someone started pounding on the bathroom door, so Lily sighed and quickly finished showering. She put on her dressing gown and opened the door.

Emmeline was standing there, and her hair was a bright shade of purple.

"Don't use any of the ..." she began, but she trailed off, gaping at Lily.

"What happened to your hair?" asked Lily, gaping back at her.

"Not just my hair," whispered Emmeline, and she opened the door wider, so Lily could see the scene inside the room.

Faye and Deidra were pacing around the room each screaming, "My hair! My beautiful hair!"

Faye's usually black hair was now a dull shade of gray making her look about fifty years older, and Deidra's hair was aquamarine-coloured. Lily snickered taking in the scene. She glanced around and saw Bella sitting on her bed, her hair a dark green.

"Aren't you going to freak out about your hair?" asked Lily, walking over to Bella and examining a strand of her green hair.

"No. Aren't you going to freak out about _your_ hair?" retorted Bella.

"My--" began Lily, but then she grabbed a strand of her hair and noticed it was magenta. A little squeak escaped her mouth as she tried to force down the full-blown shriek that was ready to erupt out of her. "What happened to us?" Lily asked slowly, her voice dangerous.

"Someone's pranked us," said Bella, twirling a strand of now blue hair.

Lily glanced around and noticed everyone else's hair colour had changed too including hers, which was now lemon yellow.

"Lily? Bella?" Emmeline's voice called from the bathroom. "Get over here _now_."

Not used to hearing their friend's voice so commanding, the two girls hurried into the bathroom. Emmeline stood by the shower and pointed above the shampoo bottles. There was a message floating there.

It read:

_Happy Christmas! Hope it's very_ colourful!

It was signed:

_The Marauders_.

"Potter!" shrieked Lily.

* * *

Lily, Bella, and Emmeline stomped out of their dormitory, ignoring Faye and Deidra's pleas to Lily. They seemed to think that because Lily had good marks in classes, she'd be able to restore their hair to all its glory. 

"But, Lily ..." began Deidra, but Lily slammed the door in her face. She knew the two girls wouldn't follow them, at the risk of someone seeing their new looks, which now consisted of orange and emerald green hair.

The three very angry girls stormed down the stairs, ignoring the strange looks they got from their fellow students, and then pounded up the boys' dormitory staircase.

"Here." Emmeline's voice was icy cold, unlike her usual voice. She pointed at a door that read 'first years'.

Bella flung the door open and shouted, "Black, where are you? I'm going to kill you!"

"I'll just hurry on over then," said Sirius dryly from where he and the other fourboys sat playing Exploding Snap. "I can't wait to die!"

"Where's Potter?" asked Lily hotly, glancing around as she entered the room after Bella.

"Present and accounted for," said James, waving at her. "Pining for me, are we, Evans?"

"Not particularly." Lily pointed furiously at her hair and stood tapping her foot, an unexpressively angry look on her face.

"Yes, your hair is a particularly vivid shade of blue today, Evans. Is that all you came to show us? We don't take kindly to intruders in our dormitory," James responded nonchalantly.

"I'm positively quaking in my boots," said Lily dryly.

"You're not wearing boots, Evans!" shouted Sirius.

"She's not, but I am." Bella strode over and kicked Sirius hard with the very pointed toe of her new dragonskin boots that her parents had sent her a gift.

"Ouch!" Sirius glared at her, but did nothing else. He was trying very hard to obey his rule of never hitting girls, but Meadows was pushing it.

"You did this!" Lily shouted at James, pulling out her wand.

"Do you have any proof?" Remus asked innocently, looking up from the Exploding Snap game.

"Maybe that message that's floating inside our bathroom?" supplied Emmeline.

"You don't like your gift?" James said, sounding a bit hurt, drawing his own wand and pointing it at Lily.

"Of course I do. It's not every day I get to see Faye and Deidra running around shrieking like that," said Lily, her voice sickly sweet. "I just don't like the sender."

"Evans, don't make me hex you," James muttered under his breath.

"_You_ hex _me_? I highly doubt that," Lily retorted.

James raised his wand, but Lily was much quicker.

James was instantly blasted off his feet. He landed on the floor painfully.

"Care to test me again, Potter?" growled Lily, smirking down at him.

James raised his wand, but Lily shouted, "_Expelliarmus_!" His wand flew into her open hand. "I think I'll keep this for a little while," she said in a sing-song voice, twirling his wand between her fingers. "But, then again, I don't want anything Marauder-related near me for too long." She tossed the wand onto a bed and turned to go. "Don't even think about it. Black," she muttered, and Sirius lowered his wand and swore silently.  
The three girls exited the dormitory without so much as a glance back. Bella did, however, send a well-aimed Jelly-Legs Jinx at Sirius before leaving.

James stood up, wincing, and picked up his wand. He hated to admit it, but that Lily Evans had some skills. Getting revenge seemed to be one of them.

* * *

Ah one of many confrontations to come! Reviews are pretty! I like pretty things! (take the hint!) Happy Christmas again and to use Ryan Seacrest's quote "Jobberknoll out!" **E.D.J.**


	15. The Ballycastle Bats' Fanatic

**Disclaimer**-I want to own, but sadly that will never happen.

**Authoress' Note**-Yes! This is a long chapter! It needs lots of reviews to stay alive! Keep it from dying! **E.D.J.**

**Thank yous!**

**Miss Anonymous hp- **I personally think Lily and James are pretty evenly matched in dueling. In the last chapter, she just kinda caught him off guard and he was reluctant to hex her in the first place because of that mantra most guys have to never hurt/hit a girl. Maybe it's because they're too afraid to get their arses kicked! Hee hee!

**blinkgurl017**-More tormenting Peter in this chapter! It's pretty easy to work in! Colour-changing hair would be really cool!

**La Conquistadora**- I will send you some colour-changing shampoo if I ever find some. Yeah I know the girls didn't really do anything to the guys, but that's basically because they weren't pissed at them that badly. But then later... The girls get some more revenge in this chapter!

**Blahness**- See I updated!

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**Ch. 15- The Ballycastle Bats' Fanatic**

"Bloody hell is Christmas holiday over already?" said Sirius, yawning as the four boys made their way down to breakfast on the first day of the new term.

Everyone was back at school now, and they were all intently talking about the wonderful holidays they'd had and the great gifts they'd received for Christmas.

"I suppose it is," said James sullenly, flinging himself down into a chair at the Gryffindor table and banging his head against the table in not-quite-mock anguish.

The rest of the boys' holiday had been spent setting off numerous pranks around the school on the unsuspecting staff and students, including a particularly brilliant one that had involved the caretaker Filch and a large amount of his own broomsticks attacking him. They were still trying to create a name for themselves, and people were slowly beginning to realize who they were and what they were capable of.

The boys ate their breakfast in companionable silence, too tired to talk that early in the morning. Towards the end of breakfast, the owl post came, and a large brown owl immediately landed in Sirius's bowl of porridge.

"Oy!" yelped Sirius and Remus as a wave of porridge hit them.

"_Scourgify_," muttered James at the pair of them without even looking up.

The owl ruffled its feathers, flinging bits of porridge everywhere once more, and hopped purposefully over to him. It had a package and a letter attached to its leg, and James quickly untied them and threw the owl a bit of toast.

"It's from my dad!" he said excitedly, glancing at the postmark.

He opened the letter and read:

_Dear James, _

_Remember how you wrote us about how you and your mates found a secret passage inside the school? Well, here's something that may help you four. I couldn't send it along with your other Christmas gifts because your mum wouldn't approve. Be sure not to mention it to her because I'll get my ears transfigured into turnips for even_ thinking _of sending you this gift. Remember, it used to be your ol' dad's, so be gentle with it. Don't get caught with it either because I'm not sure the Headmaster would approve. But Dumbledore's a kind old soul, so I think he'd be the least of your worries. Don't do anything stupid with it because, if your mum gets a letter from Hogwarts about you using this particular item, she'll have both our heads! Use it well!_

_Love,_

_Dad_

James sat gaping at the letter. "He didn't!" he whispered, quickly reading the letter again.

"He didn't what?" asked Remus, poking at the package.

James grabbed the package and rapidly tore off a corner. Sure enough, he saw a glimmer of silver inside. He quickly slid the package into his schoolbag and motioned for his friends to move nearer so they weren't overheard.

"It's his old Invisibility Cloak!" James hissed gleefully.

"What?" exclaimed his friends. "An Invisibility--"

"Shhh!" James said, putting a finger to his mouth.

Sirius looked incredibly put out at having to speak quietly. "Why'd he send you it?"

"For exploring the secret passageways and stuff."

"Brilliant! Do you know what this will do for our pranking? We can pull all the pranks we want and never get caught!" Sirius exclaimed happily, a sinister grin appearing on his face at the very thought.

"But don't you think it's against the rules to have one at school?" Remus asked worriedly.

"Come on, Remus. Don't be such a killjoy. How's anyone going to find it if James keeps it locked in our dormitory?" Sirius responded.

"I dunno, he could leave it somewhere..."

"Do really think I'm that irresponsible and stupid?" said James, sniffing slightly and looking quite upset.

Remus looked thoughtful for a moment. "Yes. Yes I do."

He then ducked as James flung a bit of porridge at him and missed, instead splattering the back of a sixth year Hufflepuff's chair behind Remus.

"Need to get better aim, don't we, James?" said Remus, smirking. "Won't make Chaser on the House team if you don't improve."

James flung another bit of porridge at Remus, and it hit him square in the eye.

"Better," said Remus, dabbing his face with a napkin.

Just then, there was a loud bang, and a cloud of thick blue smoke enveloped Peter.

"Oh damn, we weren't watching our backs!" Sirius muttered regretfully, glancing around, and, sure enough, he saw a blur of bright red hair sneaking down to the other end of the table, partially hidden by the smoke.

Lily Evans, Emmeline Vance, and Bella Meadows had spent every waking moment since Christmas looking up and testing new jinxes and hexes on the Marauders to get them back for their Christmas hair prank. They hadn't realized their hair's color-changing properties would last for twenty-four hours! It got to be quite embarrassing after the first few hours, and the girls had taken to hiding in their dormitory till it ended. Now they were officially on the warpath against the four boys. At least until they got bored with it.

"Oh, what'd they get Peter with?" Remus asked curiously as the smoke began to dissipate.

A small squeak came from Peter's direction, and, now that the smoke had finally cleared, they along with everyone else in the Great Hall could see Peter clearly. His arms had been changed into four long slimy tentacles, and they began flailing about knocking over dishes, students, and even Professor McGonagall, who had hurried down from the staff table to find out what all the commotion and smoke was about.

"Mr. Pettigrew!" shrieked Professor McGonagall as she was flung to the ground, her glasses askew. "That was quite uncalled for! Honestly! No respect for teachers these days!"

"I'm sorry, Professor!" Peter wailed, knocking over Victor Crabbe and Edgar Goyle, much to the delight of his fellow Marauders, who had stumbled over from the Slytherin table to laugh at Peter's predicament. "I can't control them!"

"Potter, Black, Lupin! Take him to the hospital wing!" shouted Professor McGonagall, herding students away from Peter's thrashing tentacles. "Madam Pomfrey will sort him out!"

"Yes, Professor," they called grimly, and they slowly made their way toward Peter, ducking as slimy tentacles whacked at them.

It was much like trying to get past the newly planted Whomping Willow on the grounds, even though that particular pastime had been strictly prohibited and punished severely since a second year Ravenclaw named Davy Gudgeon had nearly lost an eye to the Willow's thrashing branches.

Remus and Sirius laughed as James was caught up by one of the tentacles and thrown unceremoniously onto the Hufflepuff table, much to the delight of first years Julia Underwood and Elaine Warwick, who both fancied him something awful. They helped him up, giggling madly and fussing over his nonexistent wounds.

"Can't we ... _ouch_ ... subdue ... _ow_ ... him ... _watch it, Peter_ ... somehow?" gasped Remus as he picked himself off the floor for the sixth time.

"_Petrificus Totalus_!" called Sirius, pointing his wand at Peter.

Peter and his tentacles froze and fell to the ground with a resounding clunk.

"Alright nothing to see here, folks," called James, having finally escaped the crazy Hufflepuff girls.

He began shooing away the large crowd that had formed around the four Marauders while Remus and Sirius hauled Peter onto their shoulders. James grabbed his schoolbag, which had the package from his father hidden in it, off the Gryffindor table, lest some unwitting student find it.

James shouted heroically, "To the hospital wing!"

And with that, the three boys ran out of the Great Hall to a smattering of applause.

* * *

"Brilliant Lily, _sheer _brilliance," said Emmeline, giggling as the three girls made their way to Defense Against the Dark Arts. 

"I'll have to write Dorcas about this! She'll be so proud!" Bella exclaimed happily, thinking of her mischievous older sister who had graduated the year before.

"Dorcas still going all out interning for the Wizengamot?" asked Lily as they sat down.

"Of course, it's all she ever talks about in her letters!" Bella said with a small laugh. "You'd think someone who spent the better part of seven years here in detention wouldn't be interested in trials and court stuff, but she loves it! She can't wait to be old and gray, so she can become a member!"

The bell rang, and the class quieted when their teacher walked in.

He was a tall man with sandy blonde hair and a _very _strange fascination with the Ballycastle Bats. The Defense Against the Dark Arts room was papered primarily with posters of the Quidditch team and their mascot Barny the Fruitbat with a few odd framed players' autographs thrown in for some variety. Also, the color scheme of the room leaned toward black and scarlet ... everything. _Bats' colors_. The class all thought him a bit ... batty, pun intended. But, besides his strange obsession, Professor Caradoc Dearborn was a very knowledgeable teacher. With a slightly mad side that he showed more often than not. He was also the uncle of first year Hufflepuff Alice Dearborn, to her more than slight embarrassment.

"Alright, class! Today we will be learning about ..." Professor Dearborn trailed off and marched over to where Sirius Black sat munching on Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans. "What is this?" he screeched, grabbing a bean from Sirius's open hand.

"An orange Bertie Bott's bean, sir?" Sirius said cautiously, not sure where the Professor was getting at because Professor Dearborn hadn't taken the whole bag of sweets from him.

"_Exactly_," said Professor Dearborn, placing the bean on the floor and stamping on it until all that remained was orange mush, which he quickly set on fire and then vanished with his wand. "A Cannons' color."

"Oh ..." said the class knowingly, remembering their teacher's intense hatred for the Chudley Cannons, who had beaten the Bats for the British-Irish League title in 1961. The Bats and their fans' pride was still rather hurt from that particular loss.

"You may continue eating your beans, Mr. Black," said Professor Dearborn slowly. "But, you may only eat black and scarlet ones or else you will receive detention!"

"Yes, Professor," mumbled Sirius, quite put out as he sifted through the beans for only black and scarlet ones.

"Today we will be learning a bit about dueling," said Professor Dearborn, waving his wand and causing all the desks and chairs to vanish.

The students all landed on the floor, groaning heavily as they hit hard stone.

"Couldn't he at least have waited for us to get out of the desks first?" asked Emmeline, rubbing her ankle.

"No, that wouldn't be his style," Lily muttered grimly.

"Is that what he calls being intensely strange and creepy?" whispered Bella. "His _style_?"

"Class, get up! On your feet! Mustn't dawdle!" said Professor Dearborn firmly, and the students quickly stood up, wincing as their injured limbs twinged painfully.

"I will be partnering you up with one of your fellow students, and you will be practicing the basic Disarming Charm on each other. Instructions are on the board." Professor Dearborn magicked up a short list of names and began reading them off.

"Faye Edstrom and Deidra Lennox."

Squeals came from the back of the room where the two girls were busy doing their nails with a beauty charm they'd found in the library a few days earlier.

"Remus Lupin and Emmeline Vance."

A slight gasp came from Emmeline, which only her two friends noticed and began sniggering at.

"Sirius Black and Isabella Meadows."

Moans came from both sides.

"Lily Evans and James Potter."

Gasps, moans, and evil glares soon filled the room.

Finally, Professor Dearborn said, "Frank Longbottom and ... where's Mr. Pettigrew?"

"Hospital wing," Sirius managed to get out between banging his head against the wall and muttering, "Why me?"

"Alright. Mr. Longbottom, you may work with Miss Edstrom and Miss Lennox then."

"I was afraid of that," muttered Frank, sinking to the floor.

"Please sit with your partners and begin learning the Disarming Charm. It is on page eighty-seven in your _Defeating the Dark Arts_ textbooks." Professor Dearborn leaned back in his chair, surveying the pairings he'd created. He smiled. Today was going to be a very interesting class.

* * *

"Potter, since we know I already can do this charm, can you just sit like a good little boy and learn it while I ignore you?" Lily asked, from where she stood a good four feet away from James. She didn't risk getting any closer lest one of them hex the other into oblivion. 

"I know the stupid charm, Evans!" James shouted furiously.

Lily sniggered. "Like you demonstratedon Christmas? You didn't hit me with any spell let alone a Disarming one!"

"_Expelliarmus_!" shouted James, his face a blotchy red.

Lily's wand shot out of her hand, and she was blasted off her feet. James caught her wand as it flew threw the air, and he stood smirking down at her."You were saying?"

"Give me back my wand, Potter!" shouted Lily, standing up and diving at him, but James jumped backwards, out of the way.

"_I think I'll keep this for a little while_," he said, imitating Lily as he twirling her wand between his fingers.

"Great, Potter," said Lily sarcastically. "Can't even think of your own comebacks now?"

"Quite on the contrary, I was just demonstrating what would be known as a cruel irony," snapped James.

"Give me the damn wand, Potter!" shrieked Lily, her eyes dangerously bright.

"Oh now I'm really scared," James said in a childish voice. "What are you going to do? I seem to have your wand at the moment."

"There are other ways," said Lily vaguely, and she slowly rose to her feet.

"Like what?" he asked disbelievingly.

Lily strode over and stamped _hard_ on his foot.

James positively howled like a werwolf at the full moon, and he dropped both his and Lily's wands as he hopped back and forth, cradling his foot.

Lily snatched up the two wands and turned to Professor Dearborn. "Look, Professor! I disarmed him!" she said sweetly, holding up James's wand.

"Barny the Fruitbat says, 'Good job Miss Evans!'" replied Professor Dearborn, clapping his hands.

"Loony that one," James muttered through gritted teeth from where he sat examining the damage to his foot.

"Finally something we agree on, Potter," Lily replied with a slight sigh.

"But that doesn't change anything, Evans! You stepped on my foot!" James whimpered, and he gave her a menacing glare.

"Oh, you poor baby," she snapped. "I thought boys were intolerant to pain."

"Newsflash! We're not." James pointed at his bruised foot. "Merlin, Evans! How big are your feet? This smarts!"

"Oh shove it, Potter," she growled back.

* * *

_Meanwhile, on the other side of the room ..._

"Black, you go first!" Bella said, the tone of very voice sounding quite bored.

"No you, Meadows!" Sirius retorted, not to be outdone.

"You!"

"You!"

"You!"

"You!"

"You!"

"You!"

"You!"

"You!"

"You!"

"You!"

"_Expelliarmus_!" they chorused, and both of their wands flew across the room and on top of a high shelf filled with Quidditch figurines dressed in Ballycastle Bats' team robes.

"Look what you did, Black!" Bella groaned.

"No, it was you, Meadows!" replied Sirius.

"You!"

"You!"

"You!"

"You!"

"You!"

"You!"

"You!"

"You!"

Professor Dearborn was forced to step in and return their wands. "Meadows! Black! Twenty points from Gryffindor! You're ruining the anniversary of that truly magical day in 1943 when the Bats beat the Wasps three thousand and ninety to ten!"

"Merlin! That was today?" Sirius gasped in mock astonishment. "Meadows, why didn't you tell me? We should have been celebrating!"

"Celebrating?" asked Professor Dearborn skeptically.

"Oh yeah, we're big Bats' fans," said Sirius, putting an arm around Bella, who stiffened but played along and nodded.

"Can't get enough of those Bats," Bella added somewhat enthusiastically.

"Really?" said Professor Dearborn, his eyes widening with excitement. "That's excellent! Twenty-five points to Gryffindor! Go Bats!"

"Go Bats!" the pair echoed, and Professor Dearborn walked away to observe Faye, Deidra, and Frank.

As soon he was gone, Bella shoved Sirius's arm off her shoulder. "Black if you _ever_ touch me again I'll ..." She trailed off.

"You'll?"

"I don't know, but it'll be good!"

Sirius snickered. "I can't believe we had to pretend to like the Bats to get points back! It was too easy! I am a complete genius!"

Bella just glared at him.

"What?" asked Sirius. "I got the points back didn't I?"

"You are a conceited prat," she snapped.

"Oh, hitting me where it hurts," Sirius shot back, putting a hand to his heart.

"Merlin, do you ever shut up?" Bella sighed.

"Nope."

"Lovely. Just lovely."

Just then, loud shouts started coming from the other side of the room.

"Potter, don't you dare threaten me!"

"You threatened me first!"

"Oh great. They're at it again," muttered Bella, and she and Sirius walked over to where the rest of the class stood watching Lily and James circle each other, wands out.

"_Furnuculus!_" shouted Lily

"_Impedimenta_!" shouted James, dodging Lily's jinx, and Lily was thrown backwards by James's curse.

"_Locomotor Mortis_!" cried James, and Lily's legs locked together causing her to fall over, unable to walk.

Lily landed on her stomach and muttered, "_Wingardium Leviosa!_"

James floated up in the air, and she threw him against the wall. James slumped to the floor, unable to move because of the throbbing pain in his back.

"Mr. Potter! Miss Evans!" shouted Professor Dearborn, finally noticing the situation. "Thirty points each from Gryffindor! Mr. Black! Mr. Lupin! Take Mr. Potter to the hospital wing!"

Sirius and Remus helped James up, and they all glared at Lily while they positively dragged James out of the room.

Professor Dearborn muttered the countercurse to the Leg-Locker Curse, and Lily stood up shaking like mad. "Miss Evans, you and Mr. Potter will be going to see the Headmaster when Mr. Potter is done in the hospital wing."

Lily stood clenching her fists as she fought back tears. She could see her classmates' blurred faces for a few moments before slumping to the ground in a dead faint.

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Ooh cliffie! (Authoress dodges angry readers' tomatoes) Well there hasn't been one in a while! Not since chapter nine! Please review I know a few people were mad that Lily/James and Sirius/Bella didn't fight much in the last chapter, so I hope this makes up for it! Also please tell me if I ever refer to Bella as Monica (that's my Summer with the Arrogant Prat); the two can be quite similar at times! Also, if you'd like, read _Summer with the Arrogant Prat _for another humorous Lily/James story and _Crazy Chats with the Harry Potter Characters_ if you want to read complete insanity. Review! **E.D.J.**


	16. Cracked Ribs and Midnight Musings

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Disclaimer**- I own a number of interesting things, but nothing so wonderful as Harry Potter.

**Authoress' Note**- Wow two stories updated in one day! I'm on fire! I must say that I have reached the peak of Harry Potter geekdom! I know am the proud owner of copies of the U.K. versions of GoF and OoP books even though I already own perfectly fine U.S. versions (actually only OoP copy is fine since my GoF somehow has numerous chunks of pages disattached from the books spine. I feel utterly sorry for this book and must admit I have no idea how it happened) of both these books. I confess it amuses me at the thought of finding out what words are changed between the two versions. Please feel free to taunt me or applaud me which ever you prefer! Also a lovely quirkly amusing start of term Dumbledore speech has been added to Chapter 3! Please go back and read it! It has such lines as _"Also our caretaker Mr. Filch reminds me for the tenth time that no magic may be used outside the classroom. He also said any rule breakers will be strung up by their toes in the dungeons, but Argus I can't allow you to inflict pain on my students in that way much as you may beg and plead."_and_"Also a rare, new tree has been planted on our grounds much to the delight of our Herbology teacher Professor Sprout. It is called a Whomping Willow and if any students go near it you will receive a sound beating. Not at the hands of a professor, mind you. No. At the hands of the tree."_

Happy reading! **E.D.J.**

**(1)** Borrowed from The Emperor's New Groove. **  
**

**P.S.** I would just like to give a wonderfully big thank you to the reviewers who are fans of all three of my fanfics! Professor D.S. Silvers, blinkgurl017, and La Conquistadora! Thank you!

**Thanks for the wonderful reviews! This chapter has been dedicated to blinkgurl017 and La Conquistadora my FAITHFUL reviewers who were the only two to review the last chapter! **

**blinkgurl017**- Yeah Peter sucks big time.

**La Conquistadora**- Yeah yeah I know cliffie's aren't your thing, but they add to the suspense and now I've finally updated so everyone knows what happened after the cliffie! I'm glad you like the whole quirky Ballycastle Bats thing! I find it very amusing myself!

* * *

**Ch. 16- Cracked Ribs and Midnight Musings**

"_Oh great. They're at it again," muttered Bella, and she and Sirius walked over to where the rest of the class stood watching Lily and James circle each other, wands out._

"Furnuculus_!" shouted Lily _

"Impedimenta_!" James countered, dodging her jinx, and Lily was thrown backwards by his curse._

"Locomotor Mortis_!" he cried, and Lily's legs locked togethe,r causing her to fall over, unable to walk._

_Lily landed on her stomach and growled, "_Wingardium Leviosa

_James floated up in the air, and she threw him against the wall with a decisive jerk of her wand. James crashed to the floor and slumped over, unable to move because of the throbbing pain in his back._

"_Mr. Potter! Miss Evans!" barked Professor Dearborn, finally noticing the situation. "Thirty points from Gryffindor! Mr. Black, Mr. Lupin! Take Mr. Potter to the Hospital Wing!"_

_Sirius and Remus helped James up, and they both glared venomously at Lily while they positively dragged James out of the room._

_Professor Dearborn sullenly muttered the countercurse to the Leg-Locker Curse, and Lily stood up, her limbs shaking._

"_Miss Evans, you and Mr. Potter will be going to see the Headmaster," said the teacher curtly. "I don't tolerate full-fledged dueling in my classroom."  
_

_Lily stood motionless for a moment, clenching and unclenching her fists as she fought back tears. She could see her classmates' blurred faces begin to swirl for a few moments before she fell over in a dead faint._

* * *

"Lily? Lily?" whispered a faint voice, and a small nudge came at her shoulder. 

Lily winced as her head gave a painful twinge, and she let out a muffled groan.

"I think she's waking up!" murmured another voice tentatively.

Lily finally opened her heavy eyelinds and blinked as two blurred shapes loomed over her. She fought to ask where she was and who was talking, but her tongue felt so thick and heavy that she couldn't speak. Slowly the shapes came into focus as she blinked rapidly to clear her head. It was her two best friends standing over her.

"Lily!" squealed Bella, throwing her arms around her. "How do you feel?"

"Headache," Lily grunted, rubbing her temples. "Where am I?"

"The Hospital Wing," said Emmeline, handing Lily a glass of water, which she sipped gratefully.

"How? Why?" Lily managed to get out. The last thing she remembered was yelling, "_Potter don't you dare threaten me!_", and then everything was a confusing blurr.

"You and Potter had a little duel," said Bella, frowning slightly. "Don't you remember?"

Lily's head filled with a vision of James Potter being thrown against a wall. She gasped as everything came flooding back to her in a great turrent.

"I hurt him, I really hurt him, didn't I? I'm going to be expelled! Why was I so stupid? Lily pushed back her covers and shakily stood up. "Professor Dearborn says I've got to go see the Headmaster for brutally hurting Potter."

For some odd reason, Emmeline laughed. "Brutally hurting him? Potter's fine! See for yourself." She scooted over, so Lily could see Peter Pettigrew peacefully sleeping in the bed next to her.

"That's not Potter, Em!" Lily shrieked, pulling at her hair.

"Oops," said Emmeline, blushing. "He's on your other side, behind Bella."

Bella rolled her eyes and moved over to sit by Emmeline. Lily now had a clear view of a very angry-looking James Potter glaring at her.

"Evans ..." he whispered, a rather dangerous edge to his voice. "I am in the Hospital Wing with three cracked ribs because of you!"

Nothing but a small squeak escaped Lily's mouth. _Three cracked ribs? _

"Um ... well ... er ... you'll survive," retorted Lily. Her head began to throb painfully again.

James rolled his eyes, exasperated. "Of course I'll survive, Evans! You're not _that_ good at magically attempted murder!"

"Attempted _what_ now?" asked Lily, balling her fists at his accusation. She hadn't been trying to _kill_ him.

"Mur-der," he stated slowly, as if she was an ignorant three-year-old. "Would you like me to write it down for you?"

"How dare you accuse me of such things!" she snapped, breathing heavily. "I wasn't trying to kill you!"

"Oh, was I supposed to be viciously maimed? Irreversibly disfigured? Maliciously mutilated? Believe me I've got more," said James glancing absently at his nails. **(1) **

"Ha, I'm James Potter! I'm the funniest guy in the whole world!" Lily retorted sarcastically, rolling her eyes.

"Wow, I'm glad we agree on that," he responded blandly.

"Prat."

"Wench."

"Git."

"Tart."

"Arse."

"Lily!" gasped Emmeline, covering her mouth in surprise. "We're only eleven!"

James smirked and gave Lily a sneer.

"Bitch," he hissed.

"Mr. Potter! That was highly uncalled for! _Scourgify_!" Madam Pomfrey cried as she entered the room, and with a wave of her wand, James was gagging on the pink soap bubbles that filled his mouth.

"Yes, Potter. You shouldn't be using such filthy words," said Lily, smirking as he spat out a large amount of pink foam.

"And as for you, young lady!" said Madam Pomfrey, bustling over to Lily. She shrank away, afraid that she'd end up with a mouthful of soap too, but Madam Pomfrey just smiled wearily at her. "I'm sure whatever you called Mr. Potter was long overdue."

"But--but--" James began to protest.

"Mr. Potter, I insist you rest!" snapped Madam Pomfrey, forcing him back down on the bed and magicking the blankets tightly around him, so he couldn't move.

She then pulled a bottle of purple liquid out of her apron and forced a spoonful down James's throat. The three girls gagged as the smell of dirty socks emmited out of the open bottle.

"Now, this potion will help relieve the pain while your ribs heal, and it also contains a good amount of sleeping potion, so I suggest you don't fight to stay awake. Have a good rest, Mr. Potter."Madam Pomfrey then hurried over to Lily's bedside. "How do you feel, dear?" she asked, her tone motherly.

"My head hurts," Lily whimpered, feeling childish.

"Nothing a good rest won't cure," Madam Pomfrey replied briskly. "Do you think you'll need a sleeping potion like Mr. Potter?"

Lily glanced at James whose eyelids were drooping as he muttered something that sounded like "bloody wankers". She smiled and shook her head.

"Time for your friend to get some rest," said Madam Pomfrey strictly, shooing Emmeline and Bella out of the Hospital Wing.

Lily yawned, leaned back on her pillow, and was soon fast asleep.

* * *

"Shhh be quiet!" 

"Ouch, Peter, that was my foot!"

"Sorry, it's dark!"

"Excuses, excuses."

James woke to the sound of hushed voices somewhere in the dark and squinted around for the source of the noise.

"Who's there?" he muttered groggily, reaching for his glasses on the nightstand.

Suddenly, Sirius, Peter, and Remus appeared at the foot of his bed.

"How did you--you took my cloak!" James hissed angrily, seeing the silvery fabric Sirius was stuffing down the front of his pajamas.

"Yeah, yeah we took it, but with only good intentions at heart," said Sirius with an innocent smile.

James snorted loudly.

"Well, yes, it was with good intentions!" Sirius replied indignantly. "To visit our good friend Mr. James Potter and ... to prank Filch right under his nose!"

Remus grinned impishly. "All Sirius's idea, of course."

Sirius nodded happily, but then paused and glared at Remus. "Hey! It was _your _idea! You just want me to take credit for it because if we get caught, you'll end up with less detentions than me!"

"Yeah, that sounds about right." Remus retorted with another grin. He jumped out of the way as Sirius trying to trip him.

"Got rid of the tentacles,did we, Pete?" James asked, glancing sideways at his other friend.

"Yes. Gross slimy things." Peter shuddered. "Madam Pomfrey let me out around nine."

"I thought they looked most becoming on you, Peter," said James innocently.

Peter smiled for a moment and then looked confused, and he scratched his head.

"Yeah, you spend a little time on that brainbuster," said Sirius, doing a quiet victory dance as he had finally succeed in tripping Remus.

Remus picked himself off the floor and shook his head, sighing loudly, as he watched Sirius's 'dance'.

"Danced much?" he asked casually.

"No, why?"

"No reason."

James sighed, exasperated. "And you three came to see me why?"

Sirius cocked his head at Lily sleeping in the next bed. "Why the hell did you let her beat you in that duel?"

"Let her beat me?" James protested, seriously affronted. "She is _surprisingly_ good at jinxes and hexes!"

"Oh ... is ickle Jamesie still upset about being beaten by a girl for the second time?" said Remus, smirking.

"She started it!" James hissed back, pointing angrily at Lily. "Hex her! Hex her right now!"

"I actually don't feel comfortable hexing someone who can whoop your arse," Sirius replied, shaking his head. "Particuarly when they are sleep."

"Yeah, it wouldn't be fair," said Peter, nodding in agreement.

"Remus?" said James eagerly, a wild look in his eyes. "Come on, mate, help me out! Madam Pomfrey took my wand! I can't do it myself!"

Remus rolled his eyes. "Oh no. I don't want Evans pissed at _me_. Didn't it hurt when she threw you against that wall?"

James shrugged. "Not really."

Sirius scoffed loudly. "Come on! You were whimpering like a hurt dog the whole way to the Hospital Wing!"

"I was not!"

"You were too!"

Just then, Lily gave a loud snort, and the three Marauders quickly disappeared under the Invisibility Cloak.

"Who's talking?" she asked sleepily.

"No one's talking, Evans," said James softly.

"Huh. I could have sworn I heard Black saying something about whimpering dogs," Lily muttered, eyelids drooping.

"Nope, nobody here. Go back to sleep," he said, shooting a quick glance in his friends' direction to make sure they were completely hidden.

"Okay," said Lily, yawning. "G'night, Potter."

"G'night. James waited a few minutes until he was sure Lily was asleep before hissing, "OK, it's all clear."

His three friends pulled the Invisibility Cloak off, and to James's dismay, they were all grinning smugly at him.

"What?" he asked, scooting backwards as his friends advanced closer.

"You still like her!" Sirius replied gleefully.

"Who?" James asked, completely confused.

"Evans!" said Sirius, looking as if he thought James was a complete moron.

"No, I don't!"

"Yes, you do!"

"Why? How?" said James, whirling on Remus and Peter, who clearly good speak more sensibly that Sirius.

"Well, you were kind and quiet when you talked to her," Remus stated, shifting a little uncomfortably.

"It's after midnight! Was I supposed to shout 'GO BACK TO BED, YOU BLOODY WENCH'?" asked James indignantly.

"Well, in theory, yes--if you actually hated her," replied Peter, the corners of his mouth twitching in an effort not to grin.

"I do!" James insisted, feeling frantic.

"No, you don't!" Sirius said, his voice rising to what could only be described as a hushed shout.

"But, I do! Want me to wake her up and yell at her? Is that you want, Remus? An angry, sleep-deprived Evans?" James said, turning to his friend and giving him a cold, icy glare.

"Not particularly," Remus responded, his tone chilly.

"Than get it through your thick heads: I do not and will not _ever_ fancy Lily Evans!" James said, his tone final.

"Yeesh," Sirius muttered darkly. "Jamesie needs some sleep. See you in the morning, James."

The three Marauders flung the Invisibility Cloak over themselves, and James listened as the Hospital Wing doors swung shut with a dry click.

He laid awake for a long time, contemplating what his friends had said. They were abso-bloody-lutely crazy. All he had for Lily Evans was spite and pure hate. And if he had anything to say about, that was all he was ever going have for her.

* * *

Heh... heh... Yes, they didn't go to Dumbledore's office yet, but they will! Lily and James just have to get released from the Hospital Wing first. Next chapter, I promise. Did you like it? **E.D.J.**


	17. To Dumbledore's Office We Go

**Disclaimer- **Wouldn't it be cool if there was this parallel universe where it actual was ALL mine? Wow...

**Authoress' Note- **Hope you can forgive the lack of updating! School and everything has been so hectic and I've been making creditable advances on my Azalea book when I have some free time, but now the next installament of _Seven Years of Marauding_ is done! Hope you get the slight pun for the chapter title! Review! Hope school's not a total nightmare for ya'll! Cheers! **E.D.J. **

**I've got a lovely bunch of reviews! (du du du du du) There they are a-standing in a row!**

**Romulan Empress**- Yeah a new person who I'm on author's alert for-loud cheer- I'm so glad you love the story! Also I love your name! I assume it has to do with the legend of Romulus and Remus (not our Remus obviously) and the foundation of Rome etc...? Let me know!

**blinkgurl017**-Yes you are wonderfully awesome reviewer! You can ten million...? What do want that can be invisible and sent through review thank yous? Something shiny? That's always good. Yes Madam Pomfrey is great and so is the word abso-bloody-lutely. Though I don't talk British-like to my friends because A) They won't understand me and B) They'll think I'm crazier than I already am. You know! You're a Crazy Chats reader! Hee hee.

**skysong**- I am so sorry that I've deprived you of something that will allow you to get a break from school for so long! So glad you like the story!

**Ryder**-Yes I think the creativeness comes from an over-active imagination and too much pent up crazyiness. I don't mind though. It makes my writing cool!

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**Ch. 17- To Dumbledore's Office We Go**

Lily was curled up on the sofa, listening to records when she heard the sound of the post being slipped through the door. She got up and padded over to where the small pile of envelopes sat on the rug. Lily flipped through the letters and noticed a letter addressed to her in emerald green ink. She slit it open and read:

_Dear Miss Evans,_

_We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. We have detected magic in you and wish to have you attend our school, which runs from September to June respectively. Since you are of non-magical birth, you know none of the ways of wizards though you most likely have shown signs of magic since you were small. On July the seventh, an employee of our school will arrive at your home to discuss this matter, and to escort you to London to buy your school supplies. This is, however, if you should choose to attend our school. Enclosed is a list of your necessary books and equipment needed for this year. Please send us your reply via our employee._

_Yours sincerely,_

**_Minerva McGonagall, Deputy Headmistress_**

Lily dropped the letter and shrieked, "MUM!"

Her mother thundered down the stairs. Her younger daughter had never sounded so terrified. "Lily? What's the matter? Are you hurt?"

Lily shook her head and just pointed to the letter lying on the rug. Mrs. Evans picked it up, read it, her face getting paler all the while. "HENRY!" she shrieked, dropping the letter to the floor once again.

Mr. Evans came out of the kitchen, carrying a half-eaten sandwich. Mrs. Evans thrust the letter at him and he read it while he finished his sandwich. "So," he said, "is Lily going to this magic school or what?"

"Magic?" moaned Lily. "How in the bloody world am I a witch?"

"Don't swear, Lily," scolded Mrs. Evans. "Henry, how do we know this isn't some hoax?"

Mr. Evans shrugged. "We'll wait till the seventh and see if anyone shows up. If not, it's a hoax."

Lily and her mother readily agreed. Lily went back to the couch and stared at her letter. "_You most likely have shown signs of magic since you were small._" What did that mean? Maybe all those unexplained things that always seem to happen around her? Turning the class snob's hair green? Somehow unlocking caretaker's cupboards to hide when she was embarrassed at school? Could any other students do that? She didn't think so.

"Wow, magic," Lily breathed, feeling excitement well up inside her.

Just then, her fifteen-year-old sister Petunia walked in the front door. Lily jumped up and waved the letter in front of her sister's face. Petunia sighed and glanced at the letter. Her eyes widened and she grabbed the letter out of Lily's hands. Her face grew even paler then Mrs. Evans's had been. She thrust the letter back at Lily, and her face was furious-looking.

"Isn't it amazing?" Lily shrieked happily, hugging Petunia who stood stiffly until she released her.

"You aren't going." Petunia's mouth was set in a determined line.

"What? But I want to-" began Lily.

"Your school already thinks you're enough of a freak already! All those weird things you do? Setting desks on fire? Throwing erasers at your maths teacher without even touching them? I will _not_ have my little sister being an even bigger freak by being able to do magic! People will _talk_."

Petunia's words stung, but now Lily was angry. "I will too go and I'll be the best witch this school has ever had!"

"No one related to _me _is going to be an abnormal little girl turning people into toads and riding around on broomsticks! Oh _what_ will my friends think?"

"I don't care about your stupid friends!" shouted Lily. "I want to go, so I'm going!"

"Lily, you are so insufferable! I hate you!"

Lily was startled, but she held her ground. "Well, I hate you too! And the only freak around here is _you_."

Petunia rolled her eyes and stormed out with a last whisper of 'freak'.

"I am not," Lily muttered, feeling tears fall down her cheeks. "I..."

-

"Wake up! Evans! Lily!" came a loud voice and Lily opened her eyes to find herself being shaken by James Potter.

She shook him off and quickly wiped her eyes on her sleeve, so he wouldn't see her tears.

"You were having a nightmare," said James softly. "Yelling things like 'freak' and 'I hate you'. At first I thought you were talking to me, but then I saw you were still asleep."

"Ha, don't flatter yourself," muttered Lily. "Why would I be yelling at you in my sleep?"

"Maybe because you were dreaming about me?" said James smugly. "Not that I want that, of course. But, I've been told that many girls are charmed by my natural charisma and good looks."

Lily snorted. "Fortunately, I don't happen to be one of them."

"Yes, fortunately," James echoed. He stared at Lily for a moment before clearing his throat and saying, "We have to go see Dumbledore in an hour. Madam Pomfrey says we can leave the Hospital Wing now and go get breakfast."

"Fine," said Lily flatly. "Go away."

"Why?" James retorted.

To his surprise, Lily's face turned red, and she murmured something indistinguishable.

"Sorry didn't catch that," said James with a smirk.

"I HAVE TO GET DRESSED, YOU PERVERT!" shouted Lily. "GET OUT!"

"Oh yeah..." said James, feeling his ears go red and he rushed out of the room.

Ten minutes later, James was sitting outside the room, still waiting. He sighed and tapped his foot impatiently.

Lily finally finished and raised an eyebrow at the sight of James sitting outside. "You know, you could have just gone to breakfast. I actually would have preferred that."

"And miss a chance to annoy you?" James said, smirking. He shifted from foot to foot knowing Sirius was probably getting impatient.

Lily just rolled her eyes and started down the corridor toward the Great Hall. James followed, eager for some food.

"So, Evans, think Dumbledore will kill us?" he asked. "Some students never reappear out of his office you know."

Lily said nothing.

"Scared you, eh Evans?"

"Actually I stopped listening after 'So'. Do I really care about what you said? No."

"Touché."

"Thank you."

Lily smirked up at the ceiling and noticed a large cauldron of water floating right above her. She saw it begin to tip and did some quick thinking. She pushed James underneath it and jumped out of the way.

James yelped as cold water hit him and poured down the back of his robes. He wiped his glasses on his robes and saw Lily grinning at him.

"Nice try, Potter." She walked away, looking significantly happier.

James sighed and shook his head, spraying water in every direction. "Sirius!" he shouted.

Mutters of "Oops" "Sorry, Jamesie" and "At least it was just water" came from his right.

"I'm going to kill you."

Sirius's voice came out of thin air. "That's why I'm gladI have the Invisibility Cloak."

"Which is mine by the way!"

"Not my problem. Goodbye."

"GET BACK HERE, YOU COWARD!" James shouted just as a large group of sixth year Hufflepuffs passed by. They looked at him strangely. He shrugged and muttered, "Peeves."

They nodded knowingly and walked away.

James proceeded to the Great Hall and threw himself into a chair next to Remus and Peter. His robes quickly became dry with Remus's help. James still hadn't learned that drying spell yet. Sirius was nowhere in sight. The bloody coward. Once he'd wolfed down a stack of toast he glanced around for Lily.

She was chatting with one of the seventh year prefect, Marlene McKinnon and, when she caught him looking at her, she glared angrily. How in Merlin's name did his friends think he fancied _that_?

James readied himself for a torrent of insults and strode over to Lily. "We have to go see the Headmaster."

Lily nodded and walked out of the Great Hall without even looking back to see if he was coming. James followed and put on a burst of speed to catch up with her.

Lily sighed and asked, "You know where his office is I suppose?"

"Of course. I've been there many times this year."

"I'm not sure that's something to be proud of, Potter."

They stopped in front of a stone gargoyle and James muttered, "Jelly slugs."

The gargoyle moved aside and the two students stood quietly while the stairs slowly carried them upward. James knocked on the door and it opened with a creak. Lily and James stepped in and Lily gaped at the massive round room filled with shiny silver instruments, none of which, she knew the uses of.

Professor Dumbledore was at his desk and he said softly, "Sit down, please."

They sat.

"Now, Professor Dearborn has sent you here because you were fighting, correct?"

They nodded.

"And you used magic in this fight?"

They nodded again.

"Even though you knew it was clearly against the rules?"

More nods.

Dumbledore's sighed, but his eyes twinkled slightly. "And what are the reasons for this little spat?"

Lily opened her mouth, but then closed it again.

"Yes, Miss Evans?"

"Because he's an arrogant prat and I hate him."

"Yes, I can tell that's quite true-"

"Professor!"

"Mr. Potter, I must ask you to remain silent until I have finished speaking with Miss Evans." Dumbledore turned back to Lily. "Now, what in particular was Mr. Potter doing that annoyed you so much in your Defense Against the Dark Arts class yesterday?"

"He was mocking me."

"Mr. Potter, were you indeed mocking Miss Evans?"

James wilted under Dumbledore's gaze. "Yes."

"And for what reason did you feel the need to mock her?"

"Over Christmas break, she stole my wand." James shot an angry glare at Lily.

"It was for two minutes!" protested Lily. "And that was only because he pranked my roommates and me on Christmas, sir."

"And Mr. Potter, why did you prank these girls?"

James shrugged, embarrassed. "For a laugh."

"Ah," said Dumbledore, peering at them over this half-moon spectacles. "So, we could say this all originated from Mr. Potter?"

"No!" protested James.

"Let me finish, James," said Dumbledore gently and James fell silent. "The point is that it is _both _your faults. One of you should have stopped it before it went so far. Do you understand?"

"Yes, Professor."

"Then you may go. Have a splendid day." Dumbledore smiled at them.

"You aren't going to punish us?" asked Lily.

"No. I believe jinxing each other enough to end up in the Hospital Wing overnight is a good enough punishment," said Dumbledore, the corners of his mouth twitching. "I think being thrown against a wall must have been particularly painful for you, Mr. Potter."

Lily hid a grin and nodded.

She and James exited Dumbledore's office and stopped when they reached the corridor.

"This doesn't change anything you know," said Lily.

"I know."

"I still hate you."

"I can't say I'm too fond of you either, Evans."

"Then we agree? We're still known enemies?"

"Of course. I can hardly imagine what life would be like without Lily Evans to battle against."

* * *

Oh James. If only you knew! Enough Lily/James to fill the void of Lilyness that the fic became a few chapters back? I believe so. Your thoughts? Review and let me know! **E.D.J.**


	18. Attack of the Killer Broomsticks

**Disclaimer**- I love Harry Potter, but he's not mine! He's J.K. Rowling's! And if I ever met her, I'd die of happiness!

**Authoress' Note-** Am I the only one who doesn't understand this whole C2 thing? Someone please help me! I don't have the time to manage one, but will someone explain it better? IN ENGLISH PLEASE? Anyway I quite enjoy this little chapter! It's very cute and fun! Reviews make me very very very very very very happy! **E.D.J.**

**Thanks for the lovely reviews!**

**Miss Anonymous hp**- Erm... I don't wish to be rude, but I feel that the balance of Marauders/Lily is quite good. Lily is a crucial part of the Marauders' story and trying to exclude her doesn't make the story realistic. Also, I NEED to write Lily to get break from writing about boys! I'm a girl! I need it! Also, I consider Remus to be highly intelligent and excellent at all his classes, so I suppose he'd be Lily's competition in Charms. Sirius is completely smart and brilliant, but I feel his slacker ways would make it too easy for Lily to jump far ahead of his classes. I DO hope you still enjoy the story, but Lily will still keep making regular appearances and I'm sure even more so when they get up to 5th through 7th year! I appreciate all the suggestions!

**Romulan Empress- **Yes that was an excellent line of Lily's and I'm glad you loved the chapter! Ah the name comes from Star Trek. I've actually never seen that. (Romulan Empress gasps in horror in the same way Elladora would gasp if someone told her they'd never seen Friends or LOTR or have never READ Harry Potter). Yes, yes never seen it, but I assume that the show gets the planets Romulus and Remus names from the ancient Roman myth yes? Making your name somewhat connected to it?

* * *

**Ch. 18- Attack of the Killer Broomsticks**

Cold January soon faded into a grim February, and then into a chilly March. Finally, around mid-March, when the snows had finally melted, the first-year Gryffindors found themselves out on the grounds, each with a spindly broomstick clasped tightly in their hands. They trudged nervously after the hawk-eyed new flying instructor, MadamHooch, a sturdy woman with short brown hair. A former Quidditch player herself, Madam Hooch had recently retired from her Seeker position on the Kenmare Kestrels team and had only just started her job at Hogwarts days earlier.

"Ah, this looks like a decent spot," said Madam Hooch, nodding approvingly as the students fanned out around her. She turned her sharp eyes on the students and they instantly quieted. "Now, I regret that you haven't begun these lessons sooner, but the Kestrels were unable to let me go until they could secure a suitable replacement Seeker, which took quite some time."

The students nodded, awestruck by their famous, new instructor.

"Now I would like you all to set your brooms down," said Madam Hooch and there was a hurried rustling as the students rushed to comply. "Then, you will put your hand above your broomstick and say 'Up.'"

Loud cries of "Up!" and whooshes of brooms floating upward into open hands could be heard, and Madam Hooch hurried around helping students to get their brooms to rise up. She was having particular trouble with a short, watery-eyed boy whose broom kept floating upward and diving at his face.

"UP!" shouted Peter Pettigrew, trying again, but failed and ducked as the broom lunged at him for the sixth time. (**A/N-Authoress grins evilly.-) **

"Mr. Pettigrew!" said Madam Hooch wearily as she grabbed the broomstick out of the air and tackled it to the ground, where it continued feebly to have a go at Peter. "Is it possible that one of your classmates may have put a jinx on your broom when you weren't looking?"

"I don't know..." Peter managed to stutter out as he watched, wide-eyed, while Madam Hooch did some fast wandwork and tied the broom to a nearby tree where it couldn't distract any of the students.

A loud mutter of "Damn!" came from his right, and Peter glanced down the line to see Sirius smiling and whistling innocently as he twirled his wand between his fingers on one hand and held onto his floating broomstick with the other.

"Sirius!" growled Peter, going quite purple in the face.

Sirius just grinned evilly at him. "I told you I'd get you back for eating that last scone. It was _mine_!"

Peter just rolled his eyes and began trying to get his next broom to float, but this broomstick may as well had been tied up too because all it did was wiggle feebly on the ground instead of floating upward to the appropriate height for mounting.

"Sirius!" Peter said indignantly.

James glanced over and watched with interest as Peter's broom refused to cooperate. "Sorry, mate. That's not Sirius, it's just you."

Peter's ears reddened, and James quickly began giving him some tips on how to get the broomstick to obey. "Confidence!" he barked, correcting the position of Peter's hand above the broomstick. "Now try it again," James ordered.

Peter screwed up his face in concentration and shouted, "Up!" His broomstick floated up into his hand with such force that Peter stumbled backward in surprise. "I did it!" he said excitedly. "Thanks, James!"

Madam Hooch was watching, and she nodded with approval. "Ten points to Gryffindor Mr..."

"Potter," James supplied.

"Ah yes! I was just starting Hogwarts when your parents were seventh-years. Jonathan and Arleen! Such lovely people!" said Madam Hooch, reminiscing slightly.

James beamed. "Yep. That's them!"

Down the line, Lily rolled her eyes as she listened to James talk loudly about what his 'wonderful' parents were up to now. "Can you believe this?" she hissed to Emmeline and Bella. "She's chatting with him as if he's someone important!"

Bella and Emmeline shifted uncomfortably. "Well, his family's relatively well-known in the wizarding world," said Emmeline cautiously. (**A/N-Don't know if I've mentioned this yet, but Emmeline's half and half (half-Muggle, half-magical), but she's still lived in and experienced the wizarding the world her whole life. So she would still know that the Potters are a well-known family.)**

"And he _is_ someone important," added Bella. "His parents are _very_ influential Aurors. They're best friends with the Minister of Magic and his wife."

"Damn," muttered Lily. "Trust Potter to be well-known. Something else would have had to inflated his ego before Hogwarts, right? He's been big-headed since day one."

Emmeline and Bella snickered loudly, which earned this a disapproving look from Madam Hooch who was now ready to continue her lesson.

"I trust you were all able to get your brooms to rise?" she asked, gazing at the students. "Now, I would like you all to mount your broomsticks, kick off, hover for a moment, then return to the ground. Think you can do that?" Madam Hooch blew a short blast on her silver whistle, and most of the students were able to follow her instructions with ease.

Just then, there was a loud snap, and a broomstick came rocketing over their heads. Everyone whirled around and saw that the broomstick that Madam Hooch had tied to the tree had broken free and was now bombarding Peter Pettigrew over the head.Remus Lupin and James Potter were trying to keep the broom away by swatting at it with their own broomsticks and Sirius Black could be heard muttering, "Oh damn! Oh damn! I forgot to take the bloody jinx off!" He raised his wand, but just then the broom's handle whacked him in the arm, causing him to drop his wand and howl loudly while, cradling his arm.

"Students remain calm!" said Madam Hooch, shooing the Gryffindors away from the brutal scene.

The students watched fascinated as Madam Hooch, James, and Remus all tried to subdue the broom and received, along with Peter, painful thumps on the head. Finally, Sirius recovered from his own 'brutal' wound, lunged for his wand, and shouted the countercurse. The broomstick fell to the ground, finally defeated. Madam Hooch, James, and Remus all slumped to the ground too, exhausted. Peter, however, fell to the ground in a dead faint, probably from being over the head with a long piece of wood too many times. (**A/N -Authoress grins evilly again-)**

"Mr Black!" panted Madam Hooch, levitating Peter above her head. "Twenty points from Gryffindor for jinxing a fellow student's broom!"

Sirius nodded solemnly, accepting his punishment.

"Now if any broomsticks go up in the air while I'm gone, the person riding it will be expelled before they can say 'Quidditch'! The redhead girl's in charge!" snapped Madam Hooch and, with that, she trudged across the grounds toward the castle. (**A/N- Yes, yes took that from the Sorcerer's Stone movie (or perhaps it's in the book too), but it's SUCH a good line! That and "Honestly woman, you call yourselves our mother?" Most lov-ely. Don't you agree?) **

As soon as he heard the castle doors slam and saw Lily wasn't looking, James grabbed a broom and kicked off into the air, feeling the cool air rush against his face. He glanced down and noticed Lily was doing a headcount of all the students. Any second now she'd-

"POTTER!"

James lowered the broom, so he was hovering right above Lily's angry, upturned face. "Alright, Evans?" he said with a smirk.

Lily scowled at him. "Get down here. NOW."

James merely floated a bit higher. "No one will say a word. Right?"

The other Gryffindors nodded and said, "Right." Even Emmeline and Bella found themselves nodding until Lily shot them a venomous glare.

"Maybe they-" Lily motioned to the rest of the students. "-won't say anything, but I _will_."

A loud murmur of "Oooh..." could be heard from the crowd. Lily shot Sirius Black, the originator, a withering look.

James sighed loudly and even managed to rumple his hair while he held onto the broom with one hand. "Evans, I'm perfectly fine up here. I've been flying since before I was born."

"How would that work?" muttered Remus and Sirius snickered quietly.

Lily tried to keep her voice even, but she could feel some of her anger creeping into it. "Potter, if you don't get down this instant I'll tell Professor McGonagall _and _the Headmaster!"

"Oooh..."

"Stop that, Black!"

"Sorry, just trying to add a bit of dramatic effect, Evans."

James maneuvered the broom lazily back and forth above his fellow students. "Sorry, Evans. That's not enough initiative to bring myself out of the glory that is flying."

"Well then I'll..." began Lily, but then Sirius whispered something in her ear. "Ewww! I'm not going to kiss him!"

James plummeted to the ground.

"Good job, Sirius. Knew that'd get him down," Remus said with a grin.

Lily eyed James skeptically. "You hate me, yet you want me to kiss you? How does that work out?"

James reddened and lied. "I just heard 'kiss him' and assumed that meant some other girl would kiss me._Not_ you." He made a disgusted face and rose back up in the air, but not without getting a hard slap across the face from Lily.

Lily continued to try to get James to 'get off the bloody broomstick', but he simply ignored her and continued darting over the heads of his fellow students.

Finally, Lily muttered, "Emmeline, keep a look out for Hooch. Holler, scream, cry, or do whatever you have to do to warn us that she's coming. Bella, you keep everyone else _on_ the ground."

"What are you..." began Emmeline, but her question was answered when she saw Lily grab a broom and shoot up into the air.

James jerked to a stop when he saw a blurred red and black shape rocketing up towards him. "She's not..." He stopped when he saw the fiery redhead hovering in front of him.

"Get down," Lily gasped, wobbling only a little unsteadily.

James raised an eyebrow at her flying skills. "Not your first time flying, is it?"

Lily smiled mischievously. "Marlene McKinnon took me out in November. Now get down, Potter."

She knocked her broom's handle against James's, causing him to spin dizzily to the left before he righted himself. He flew at Lily, knocking into her broom, causing her to whirl out of control.

Sirius Black was doing a running commentary from the ground using various Quidditch terms. "Oh Evans, that's skinning! Flying to deliberately collided with another player! And Potter! Cobbing! Excessive use of the elbows! But, does it matter? No, because it's all good in this game of skill! James how 'bout some blagging next? Grab her broom tail, you arse!"

Suddenly, a loud shriek filled the air. "HOOCH!"

Emmeline had spotted Madam Hooch exiting the castle!

James and Lily dove for the ground and landed, panting heavily. Lily threw her broom away from her and concentrated on slowing her heart rate. James did the same. Unintentionally, they had become allies in keeping Hooch from finding out they'd been flying and/or fighting.

When Madam Hooch came into view with Emmeline following close behind, James breathed a sigh of relief. "Don't let her tell, don't let her tell," he thought furiously, not wanting Lily to get him expelled. Unbeknownst to him, Lily was thinking the same thing.

When Madam Hooch reached them, she nodded approvingly. "Excellent work, Miss Evans. Everything looks just as I left. Five points to Gryffindor."

Everyone exhaled, relieved. No one had blabbed.

"Now, the hour is almost over, so we'll have to continue this lesson the next time we meet. Alright? Off with you then!" said Madam Hooch, waving them off.

The class murmured their thanks for being let out early and trudged across the grounds toward the castle.

"Thank Merlin, Evanshadenough sense not to go through with those threats," muttered Remus with a grin.

"Yeah. Thank Merlin indeed," agreed James.

* * *

Yay! Had to get some Peter-beating in there -grins evilly- Also I had to make Lily not afraid of heights! It's so cliche because if she's afraid of heights then James can take her on his broomstick and teach her it's really not that bad and they grow closer and all that utter CRAP! I do admit that some of those scenes are quite well done and some of my favorite fics have that type of thing, but I want to go for a more fearless Lily! Besides, I'm slightly afraid of heights, but would JUMP at the chance of flying! Who'd be so scared that they wouldn't want to fly on a bloody broomstick? Anyway please review! Like it? Love it? Funny? Or not? Bloody brilliant? (Aww thanks Ronniekins -Elladora pats Ron's head-) **E.D.J. **


	19. Pranks Are Such Beautiful Things

**Disclaimer**- I own nothing except my lovely can of Squirt I'm drinking, which, incidentally, my parents' paid for so technically it's theirs. I own nothing-smiles proudly-

**Authoress' Note**- Hi! Not too bad of a wait right? A little over a week! I'm sure my Crazy Chats readers are mightily pissed I haven't been working on the next episode... wait a minute I updated it a week ago! Never mind then. Anyway this chapter as the title shows has a few well-pulled pranks thought of by yours truly, but Remus keeps poking me and _yes _the Marauders did think of the majority of the pranks. Oh bloody hell all of the pranks! REMUS STOP POKING I ADMITTED IT-readers begin to wonder why the authoress is yelling at a seemingly fictional character- The key word in that sentence is "seemingly". Harry Potter characters are real in my world-Sigh- Please send me lovely reviews! **E.D.J. **

**Thanks for the reviews!**

**Romulan Empress**- Yes Peter being beaten over the head by a crazed broomstick was most funny. Unless your into that whole "sympathy" thing. -Scoffs- Never seen Friends-Authoress begins trembling over the horror of it all- Well I've never seen Star Trek so I guess were even!

**blinkgurl017**- Yay you're back! Sorry about you being sick! Not fun. Except when you get to stay home from school and you don't feel too horrible. Lily is quite enertaining in this chapter too and I don't think she's moronic, so be happy!

**gold-reflection**- Prettyful new pen name! Glad you loved the chapter and no you don't have to stop ranting over the chapter! I love compliments-grins smugly- Also glad you love how I write Sirius! Sirius is my lovely idiotic but still brilliant Marauder-huggles Sirius-

* * *

**Ch. 19- Pranks Are Such Beautiful Things**

Numerous students sat moaning over their huge amounts of homework in the Gryffindor common room late one evening. Muttering and curses filled in the silence between the scratching of quills as students hurried to finish their work so they could get some well-earned sleep. The four Marauders sat huddled around the fireplace, deep in conversation though Sirius kept glancing up with an annoyed expression on his face.

"They won't stop _giggling_!" he growled, jerking his head back at Deidra Lennox and Faye Edstrom who burst into a fresh bout of giggles when they noticed the Marauders looking at them. "How are we supposed to get this done by tomorrow if they won't shut up?"

His friends shrugged.

"I dunno, mate," said James with an exasperated sigh as the two girls waved at him. "Reckon we can risk a Dungbomb?"

"PLEASE!" said Remus, his pale face cringing as the girls let out anotherburst of giggles. He looked incredibly pained and sickly at the moment.

"You alright, mate?" asked James worriedly, noting the dark circles under Remus's eyes. "You're looking peaky again."

"Headache," Remus grunted, massaging his temples. "Maybe I'll see if Madam Pomfrey has something for it. Are youblokes fine without me?"

They nodded and waved him out the portrait hole.

"Remmy's always looking so sick," said Sirius absently while he watched James toss a Dungbomb into the corner of the common room where it would go off unnoticed. "Reckon he's got some long-term magical bug?"

Peter shook his head. "They've got cures for those kinds of things, don't they? Madam Pomfrey would have been able to fix him up in a second the first time around."

Their attention soon turned from Remus's condition to the horrible smell that was now filling the room.

"Mission accomplished," James gasped, pulling his robes over his nose and mouth like Sirius and Peter were doing as they watched their fellow students hack, cough, and run for their dormitories.

"Alright," said Sirius, clearing his throat and rolling up his sleeves. "Here's what we have to do..."

* * *

The early Sunday morning of the first of April, found Lily sleeping soundly in the first years girls' dormitory until a loud shriekpierced the air. (**A/N- Now I must note that early in MY world is actually 8:30 a.m. or earlier and anything over that is mid-morning or late. If I ever get up _willingly _before 10:00 a.m. I would like to be beaten over the head with a rubber fish because clearly that person is an imposter.) **

Lily woke with a start and looked around blearily for the source of the noise. Her eyes met Bella's who gave her mischievous look. "You can go back to sleep. I think Faye just caught sight of what she looks like in the morning after I put a few Ink Pellets in her face cream."

"Bella!" Lily scolded, throwing a pillow at her friend. "She doesn't need another reason to hate you! She's got far too many already!"

"But it's April first!" protested Bella, dodging Lily's pillow and tossing it back at her. "And I really don't think someone's 'taste in robes' and 'lack of interest in being friends with Faye Edstrom the Great' qualify as reasons for her to hate me."

Lily's face suddenly paled. "Oh no. It's April first, isn't it?"

"Yes, weren't you listening?"huffed Bella, her tone impatient.

"Damn them!" shouted Lily, pounding her pillow furiously. "This is like their Christmas!"

Bella didn't even have to ask. "Reckon they'll pull some prank on us?"

"Without a doubt."

Suddenly, a large amount of cursing came out of the bathroom, and Bella ran over to Lily, a pleading look in her eyes. "I suppose Faye found the package of Ink Pellets I left in the bathroom with a note saying 'April Fool's, you little wench! Complete evilness and angry thoughts, Isabella.' Touché, no? Anyway, do you think you remember that Disillusionment Charm you were researching the other day? I'll be dead twice over if Faye catches me."

Lily managed a cry of "Bella!" at her friend's crudeness, but performed the charm anyway. She watched Bella fade and become blended in with the wall near the door.

A moment later, the bathroom door slammed open, and Faye stomped out, fuming, her face a purple, inky blotch. In a sickly sweet voice, she asked, "Lily? Do you know were yoursweet friend Meadows is?"

Lily shook her head and lied beautifully in a similarly over-sweet voice. "No, I'm sorry. She was gone when I woke up. Would you like me to get that mess off your face?"

"Oh please!" said Faye gratefully. "You're a wonderful person, Lily.I can't believe I didn't realize that before! You should really hang out with Deidra and I more often instead of those immature little toads you run around with."

It was apparent Faye had no great liking for Emmeline either. Lily gritted her teeth, biting back a retort for the insults against her friends. "I'll consider it, Faye. Now, what was that cleaning spell?" She placed a hand on her chin, pretending to think. "Oh yes, I remember!"

Lily pulled out her wand and uttered a spell. Faye's forehead now read: 'Work courtesy of Lily Evans and Bella Meadows' in bright purple letters.

"All clean!" said Lily with a slight smirk.

"Thank you!" said Faye gratefully. "I've got to run!"

She bolted out the door, and Lily collapsed in a fit of giggles.

"That was brilliant!" came Bella's voice, shaking with laughter.

Lily quickly removed the Disillusionment Charm and saw that her friend was collapsed on the floor, nearly in tears from laughing so hard.

"How long do you think it'll take before someone tells her?" gasped Lily, her sides shaking.

"Awhile. She's not well liked, is she?" Bella managed between giggles. "Too stuck up for her own good."

Suddenly, Bella stopped laughing and looked utterly horrified. "Where's Emmeline?"

Lily's giggles turned to a loud gasp. "Oh no. They'll catch her alone, and she's never been good at handling _them_ by herself!"

They both quickly threw on some clothes and hurried down to the common room, desperate to find Emmeline. Thankfully, she was seated by the fire, looking unscathed.

"Did they try anything?" asked Bella sternly.

"Thought you two would have realized the date a bit quicker," said Emmeline dryly, barely glancing up from her Astronomy essay. "And no. They haven't even come downstairs yet. I've been down her since six and I highly any of those four would be up at the crack of dawn."

Lily and Bella both breathedsighs of relief and waited patiently as Emmeline finished her essay and packed up her things. As they made their way down to breakfast, Emmeline was filled in about the details of their 'little' prank on Faye, and she was practically hysterical with laughter when they told her Faye was somewhere in the castle, still unaware of what they had done to her.

"And she actually believed you?" said Emmeline, shaking her head as they sat down at the Gryffindor table. "If any of us have never flat out lied to that girl, then I'm Father Christmas. And do I look jolly to you?"

* * *

"Vomit-flavoring?" 

"Check."

"Trip Jinxes?"

"On the doorway of every classroom."

"Common room passwords?"

"Sir Cadogan has eagerly informed the guardians of Dumbledore's 'new passwords'."

"Peeves?"

"Enlisted and awaiting our signal."

"Excellent." Sirius rubbed his hands together eagerly as he checked off the last item on his list.

The Marauders, though Remus was still conspicuously absent, strode confidently into the Great Hall and were happy to see that every student was making faces, spitting, and gagging as they tried to swallow food laced with Puke-Worthy Powder. As they sat down at the table, James and Sirius each heaped their plates with various foods and waited for Peter to signal that McGonagall wasn't looking. Suddenly, Peter whistled loudly. The signal. They each scooped up handfuls of porridge and flung them at the Slytherin table shouting, "FOOD FIGHT!"

The Slytherins, angered by the Gryffindor first-years' antics and also because they were now covered in porridge, began fighting back.

Soon, the entire Great Hall was in chaos as blobs of porridge, pieces of toast, and bits of egg flew through the air to land on unsuspecting students or staff. The teachers were frantically trying to stop the full-blown war between the Houses, but they were soon forced to take cover beneath the staff table lest they be bombarded by dozens of students armed with jars of marmalade and jam. Only Dumbledore still sat at the staff table,aserene smile on his face, watching the fight with a slightly amused eye. He was still immaculately clean because no student would dare to throw food at the _Headmaster_, particularly one as respected as Dumbledore.

Meanwhile, after Sirius and James had shouted the magic words 'food fight', Peeves had dropped a few Dungbombs within the large mass of students and then proceeded to each floor of the school and wound numerous portraits into various states of hysterics with insults and the like. Now, along with the shouts of the students coming from the Great Hall, the portraits throught the school were yelling insults after Peeves and cursing rather colorfully.

The teachers eventually gained the upper hand inside the Great Hall, and the food fight trickled to a stop. They soon realized that students and teachers alike, with the exception of Dumbledore, of course, smelled horribly of dung, vomit, and a variety of foods. The teachers ordered the students back to their dormitories to clean up, all clearly stating how "completely disappointed and disgusted" they were at the students' antics. Little did they know that it was about to get even better. Or worse depending on your point of view.

The students hurried to their dormitories, discussing how exciting the food fight had been and how angry the teachers must be. Numerous portraits were still shouting things such as "If I were still alive, I'd curse that damn poltergeist into oblivion!" and "I'm going to -censored- that -censored-censored- out of his -censored- life!" Words much too vulgar for delicate ears.

Near Gryffindor Tower, a large crowd of jabbering, food-covered students was making its way to the Fat Lady's portrait.

"Shrivelfig," said Sirius, James, and Peter who had somehow gotten to the front of the line and were standing innocently as they waited for the Fat Lady's response.

"I'm sorry," she said, "that's no longer the password."

"No longer the password! I wasn't informed of a new one!" shouted Jon Marshalls, the Head Boy who happened to be a Gryffindor. He pushed through the crowd until he was even with the Fat Lady.

"Headmaster's orders," she said with a slight shrug. "I'd take it up with him."

"Now look here!" said Jon sternly. "I wasn't informed of a password change, so it can't be under Dumbledore's orders! He would have told the prefects of it!"

"I was delivered the new password by a very reliable source..."

"Who?" asked Jon suspiciously. "Who did Dumbledore send to you?"

"Why Sir Cadogan, the knight whose portrait is near his office," said the Fat Lady mildly. "Now, if you don't have the password, I'm afraid I can't let you in."

Jon was quite red in the face now, and he turned to the crowd assembled behind him. "Was anyone informed of a password change?" he bellowed.

No one raised his or her hands. Jon yelled for Marlene McKinnon, or 'Wise-arse, never helping out enough McKinnon' as he referred to her, to fetch Professor McGonagall.

Marlene soon returned with a thunderstruck Professor McGonagall. She questioned the Fat Lady and then informed the students that she neither knew the new password nor was aware of it changing at all. She ordered the students to make due with Scouring Charms to somewhat clean themselves and told them to go to theirlessons while she took this up with the Headmaster.

The students walked begrudgingly to their classrooms, and the first years assembled outside the Charms classroom with their Ravenclaw classmates. Theysoon discovered that the 'New Password Fiasco' had affected not only Gryffindor, but the other Houses as well. No one could get in to their common rooms.

Finally. after nearly twenty minutes of waiting, Professor Flitwick appeared looking immensely hassled.He told themhe had matters to deal with in Ravenclaw House, and the students could do as they wished for the hour after he had collected their homework and put it in the classroom. They all groaned and handed it to him. When he had a stack of papers nearly the size of himself, Professor Flitwick strode intothe Charms classroom. He immediately fell over and papers flew everywhere. Several students started forward to help collect the papers again, but they too went sprawling to the floor of the classroom.

"Ooh, looks like a Trip Jinx, Professor," said James innocently, pulling Professor Flitwick to his feet. "Wonder who put that there?"

"Unfortunately, I can't recall the counterjinx at the moment," said Professor Flitwick, scratching his head. "Students, you may entertain yourselves elsewhere in the castle, and I will remove the jinx after I finish with these Ravenclaw House problems."

He walked off, still looking a little rattled by his fall.

The students drifted away in groups to gossip over these unexplained incidents that seemed to be happening all day.

The Marauders turned around to find Remus grinning behind them, despite the white pallor of his face. "Complete brilliance. And I just saw the Trip Jinx."

The four boys chortled with laughter and made their way outside to a tree under the lake. They talked about Quidditch and not much else, as eleven-year-old boys are prone to do, until Faye Edstrom came giggling up to them.

"Have you seen Deidra?" she asked, still very much covered in purple ink and writing. "I haven't seen her since yesterday."

"Hospital Wing," Remus managed, fighting back a loud guffaw.

"Thanks," she said, turning to go.

"Wait, Faye?" gasped James, quickly wiping tears of mirth from his eyes. "Did you know you have ink on your face?"

Faye ran a finger across her forehead and stared at the purple color that now covered her finger. "Huh, I thought Evans got rid of it all. Is that it?"

Sirius nodded intently. "Yeah, you got it."

Faye turned and walked back to the castle her face still sporting complete purpleness and now read "Wok courtsy of Lil vans nd Bell Mead."

"Work courtesy of Lily Evans and Bella Meadows?" chortled Remus, nearly rolling on the ground.

"I must admit that was pretty good," Peter said, nodding.

"Nothing compared to us though," added James.

"Though still quite funny," said Sirius rather reluctantly.

All in a was a most memorable and enertaining April Fool's.

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Loved it? Despised it? Want to throw rubber chickens at it? Review! Also, I hope that the fact that Lily CAN enjoy a good prank came across in this chapter! I'm hoping to finish year one by the end of the month! Keep your fingers crossed! It'll only be another 1 or 2 chapters so hopefully I'll be able to do it! Keep reviewing! **E.D.J. **


	20. An Interesting End To Year One

**Disclaimer**- I've reached chapter twenty and it is still not mine! Sniffles! 

**Authoress' Note**- Hello! Year One is finally done! I told you I'd get it done before the end of the month-victory dance- So here it is! Reviews are quite lovely things! **E.D.J.**

**P.S.** I apologize for the extremely long response to Constructive Critcism's complaints, but I feel I need to get all these answers out, so people will understand where I'm coming from. Please feel free to read the response and it may clear up a few things for you!

**Reviews! Responses!**

**La Conquistadora**- Yes the ink prank was a lovely bit of insanity. I'm glad I thought of it.

**Constructive Criticism**- I have answers to all of your complaints/constructive criticism. Canon actually shows that Lily cannot stand JAMES' pranks and his torturing of Snape. Also you may note that on page 713 of the U.K. edition of Order of the Phoenix right after James flips Snape upside down, revealing his underwear it clearly states this: "Lily, whose furious expression had twitched for an instant as though she were going to smile, said'Let him down'" Meaning she thought it was slightly FUNNY. Meaning she can enjoy a good prank, just not necessarily one that hurts someone else or is done by James Potter.

I must somewhat agree that Lily is slightly "perfect" at the moment, but she is not, in any way, shape, or form, someone who's a complete suck-up to the teachers or anything. (Not that you said that, but I'm trying to make it clear that she's not "perfect" in that way). She works HARD for her grades.

Also, the only evidence we have of James' best subject being Transfiguration is that his WAND was good for Transfiguration. It does not clearly state, "James Potter's was the best student in Transfiguration and everyone else sucked at it and bowed down to him, begging them to teach them his wisdom. Except Lily Evans, who hated him and despite the fact that she was failing Transfiguration miserably, refused to ask him for help even though he was even more brilliant that the teacher, Professor McGonagall." More than one person can be good at a subject! It IS possible! Also, it was just the first class and the point I wanted to come across in that chapter is that, despite being a Muggleborn, Lily is still quite capable of doing magic no matter what other people may think. The same with James' Charms troubles. I wanted to point out that even though James is someone who's experienced the wizarding world his whole life, it doesn't guarantee successfulness at magic (think of Neville here, NOT that James is anything like Neville). Also it was not that James was bad at Charms, merely that he was saying the incantation wrong and once he had it correct, he could do a Levitation Charm successfully on the first try! These classes were NOT a reflection of Lily and James' talent throughout seven years, merely the reflection of how their very first classes went.

Also, I most certainly disagree with your statement that I "favor" Lily. I may be unconsciously doing it, if at all. You need my argument? Just because Lily has never "lost" does not mean she never will. Also, in the flying lesson chapter it was blatantly clear that James was a better flyer than Lily meaning he would "win" that particular "battle". And the Madam Pomfrey scene where Lily gets off with nothing? In my interpretation of it, Madam Pomfrey didn't hear the entire list of insults between Lily and James, only James' final insult. She merely ASSUMED Lily had been saying similar things, but really had no proof of it, so couldn't technically punish her. Also, Madam Pomfrey thinks that James is a complete troublemaker, so she again ASSUMED that James was the cause of the argument because of his developing reputation for causing michief. I assure that if James and Lily ever get caught by a teacher when they're throwing insults at each other and the teacher hears both parties using filthy words, they will BOTH be punished. Lily will not be let off because of favoritism! Besides, if I had to choose between the Marauders and Lily I would choose the Marauders in a heartbeat because they crack me up and I love them more than Lily! Also Miss Anonymous hp didn't say that I was too good to Lily, she said I should "focus less on her", meaning (in my opinion) that she thought I wrote too much about Lily and not enough Marauders and she also said that in HER opinion that Lily wouldn't be better at dueling that James, which I explained in the next chapter by stating that Lily was NOT better at dueling than James that they were EVENLY matched.

Self-insertion? Purely for humor reasons clearly which you don't seem to find funny. I am not "trying to make myself cool as if I actually belong". I am completely aware that I DON'T belong. I wish I did belong, but I sadly don't. You may also note that self-insertion is only in 2 out of 20 chapters and I already have a fic going were I may insert myself to my heart's desire and I also wrote in Chapter 14 after the self-insertion phase, "Yes I like popping into the story ever once and awhile to harass the characters, but I'm not going to do it that often because it would become too much like my Crazy Chats with the Harry Potter Characters fic and I want this story to have plot and to be realistic!" I will clarify now that it will NOT be happening ever again because that is what my parody fic is for. I am perfectly happy writing sarcastic authoress' notes to get my opinion across. I also think you should not say "we" don't like self-insertion because the above is in response to a reviewer who liked it and I have gotten no other complaints about it. I'm glad you were able to say the story has potential, despite the misgivings you stated in your review. 

**Romulan Empress**-Yes the Marauder Christmas-April Fool's Day, it makes sense, doesn't it? Happy to find you're rolling on the floor laughing! Don't hurt yourself!

* * *

**Ch. 20-An Interesting End To Year One**

April and May passed rather uneventfully and soon the end of the year exams were upon every Hogwarts student. Everyone in first through fourth year was terrified out of their wits by the fifth and seventh-years who were studying furiously for their O.W.L.s and N.E.W.T.s. There had been numerous 'accidents' where the younger student had come out with something abnormal (i.e.radishes and sometimes an odd turnip or two) growing out of their skin because they had accidentally disturbed an upperclassman. Madam Pomfrey was livid with the number of cases she had to deal with every day, and the infamous Marauders were among them almost daily, though they were never seriously maimed.

At the moment, the four boys were huddled on the staircase up to the boys' dormitory, making a plan as to what would bemost disturbing to their upper classmates.

"Abnormal hair growth?" said Remus, peering at the list in his hand.

"Did it," said Sirius. "Don't you remember what Cecilia Waters looked like?"

"Ah right," said Remus with a chuckle. "Her nose hair almost reached her knees, didn't it?"

"That's the one," said Sirius, nodding.

James rubbed his head. "Who _haven't_ we annoyed yet?"

Peter glanced down at the list he held on his lap. "Er... Gabrielle Eriksson... oops no, got her with that Soundless Stink Bomb... Peregrine Oldham... nope, got him with that packet of Zonko's Fire-Breathing Ants... Aileen Worthing... no, convinced Peeves to dump Filch's bucket of mopping water on her...WOW!"

"What?" asked James anxiously. "What is it?"

Peter smiled triumphantly. "We've pranked _every_ fifth and seventh-year in the _school_."

Remus frowned and ripped the list out of Peter's hands. "That can't be possible! I was sure we had at least two or three left!"

Sirius screwed up his face in concentration. "We started last Sunday... today's Sunday again... exams actually start tomorrow... x number of pranks a day..."

"Sirius," said James, clapping his friend on the back. "Don't even _try_ to do that in your head. There's a _reason _why Remus does anything that require math for us."

Sirius threw a punch at James's head, but James dodged it expertly. "I know you too well for you to be able to hit me like _that_," said James with a slight smirk.

"Then I'll just have to think of a new strategy to get a punch at you, won't I?" growled Sirius, pouting slightly.

"Don't even start, Sirius," said Remus, barely glancing up from the list of students he was still going over. After a few moments, he thrust the paper back at Peter with an upset look on his face.

"Well?" asked Peter smugly. "Is there any fifth or seventh-years left?"

"No," said Remus, sullenly. "I was wrong."

Sirius, James, and Peter all clasped hands over the hearts in mock horror.

"Our ickle Remmy got something _wrong_?" gasped Sirius.

"Don't rub it in," grumbled Remus. He scowled at his friends' grinning faces. "You don't have to look so _ecstatic_ about it."

"Oh, trying to save his dignity by using some big words," said James gleefully. He ducked a hex from Remus's direction, feeling a burst of heat singe the top of his hair. He shook a finger at Remus. "Now, now, Remmy. Didn't Mummy tell you not to play with fire?"

Remus responded by shooting another burst of flame at James, setting his robes alight. James quickly put out the fire with a bit of water from his wand and Sirius grappled with Remus until he was able to tuck his friend's wand away, out of Remus's reach.

"You've forced us to take drastic measures," said Sirius with mock exasperation. "We can't just let you go around starting people on fire, can we?"

Remus muttered something unintelligible and raced up to their dormitory. Obviously, an idea had popped into his head.

His friends remained on the stairs, knowing Remus wasn't capable of damaging anything important of theirs withouta wand in his hand. Remus soon returned, a small red and gold bound book and a few crumpled sheets of parchment. Sirius and James looked confused while Peter's eyes widened to a look of complete horror.

"What are you... what are you doing with that?" Peter croaked, trying to grab one of the items out of Remus's hand.

"Blackmail," said Remus simply, a evil glint in his blue-grey eyes. "I'll read it to the entire common room if you don't shut it about my little 'mistake'."

"Read what?" said James and Sirius, glancing eagerly at the things in Remus's hand.

Remus cleared his throat and flipped open to a random page inside the red and gold book. This drew a strangled yelp from Peter. "Dear Diary," said Remus in a high squeaky voice. "It's your good friend Peter again! I hope you haven't been too lonely. Maybe I can find you a nice lady book friend to keep you-"

At that moment, Peter shouted, "Fine!" and ripped the book from Remus's hands.

"And as for you two," said Remus, whirling on Sirius and James who were laughing hysterically over the fact that Peter kept a diary. "I believe these doodles may be somewhat intriguing to the rest of the House and perhaps... the entire school?"

He held up two rather worn pieces of parchment, one embellished with a large intertwined J.P and L.E. and the other with SB plus BM written numerous times across it.

Both boys' faces paled considerably, and they snatched the parchment out of Remus's hands with a grumbling of: "Sorry." James even went to the length of setting _his_ parchment on fire with his wand while Sirius chose to rip his to pieces and _then_ burn it.

"Touchy, are we?" said Remus, smiling slightly. "Those _were_ rather old, but I'm sure Miss Evans and Miss Meadows would be quite horrified just the same."

James muttered something unintelligible while Sirius just shot an angry glare at Remus.

Finally, after a few tense minutes, James asked, "So, what are we going to do if we've pranked everyone? We can't go around pranking everyone _again_! They'll suspect something right away."

"An end of the term prank?" suggested Remus, warily eyeing Sirius who still looked rather angry. Remus sighed. "You know Sirius, I wouldn't have really shown that parchment to Meadows."

"Because you knew I beat you to a pulp," muttered Sirius darkly.

Remus chuckled. "Well, that and I knew I'd get a good beating from Meadows and Evans. I think they'd both rather remain in the dark on this one than have me tell them what _really_ went on the first couple months of term."

Sirius and James both grumbled irritably.

Remus sighed and rubbed his temples. "I'm shot for ideas right now, mates. I used them all for the fifth and seventh-years' pranks. I think we may need to actually start studying for those exams for tomorrow though."

The other three boys sighed audibly, but nodded in agreement before getting large stacks of books from their dormitory. (**A/N- My, my, aren't they studious?)  
**

* * *

Meanwhile, in this first year girls' dormitory, the girls were studying furiously and had been for the last two hours. Books lay strewn about the room along with a large quantity of broken quills and ripped parchment. 

"Emmeline?" said Bella hopefully, glancing at her friend whose eyes looked rather glazed as she read over Herbology notes. "Might you know the key ingredient to the Draught of Living Death?"

"Aconite!" said Lily immediately.

Emmeline glanced up from her notes, slightly exasperated. "Actually it's asphodel, Lily."

Lily's brow furrowed, and she quickly began looking through her copy of _One Thousand Magical Herbs and Fungi_. "Damn," she muttered, crossing something off of her notes.

"A bit much to remember, isn't it?" said Emmeline lightly.

"A bit?" said Lily. "It's a bloody truckload is what it is!"

"Truckload?" asked Bella, confused.

"Muggle thing," said Lily and Emmeline immediately.

Bella nodded, knowing she had no expertise in that area. She glanced absently at the two beds to her left and was quite pleased to see that Faye and Deidra had finally moved their gossip train to the common room, away from people who actually were concerned about their marks and not just their nail color.

"I can't take this anymore!" snapped Lily, sweeping her large pile of books onto the floor. "If I don't know it by now, I will never know it!" (**A/N- Hee. Friends' humor. 56 states! Hee.) **

"I agree with you, Lils," said Bella, eagerly following Lily's example. "I'm too tired to think straight let alone learn anything."

Emmeline slowly put her books away too and the three girls fell fast asleep soon after.

* * *

"What is the incantation for a Levitation Charm?" asked Peter as he quizzed James the next day at breakfast. 

"_Wingardium Leviosa_!" said James immediately, demonstrating the charm on the salt cellar in front of him.

"How do you keep a Venomous Tentacula from attacking?" Remus asked Sirius.

"Chuck it something better to eat?" asked Sirius hopefully, shoveling down a large forkful of eggs.

Remus sighed. "No. You have to use some type of Immobulus Charm to be able to get near to it."

Sirius shrugged slightly, shoveling some more eggs into his mouth. "Same difference."

"James!" said Remus, thrusting a stack of parchment at his friend. "Sirius is being most uncooperative. Will you quiz me?"

"I already know everything!" protested Sirius. "I don't need to study!"

James nodded. "I'm sure I know it all too, so, Remmy, you probably know twice as much as Sirius and me combined."

Remus smirked slightly. "That's probably true."

"Hey, I was only kidding!" said a very insulted James.

"Oh," said Remus. "I wasn't."

* * *

After a full two days of exams, all the first years were eager for the summer holiday, but they were quite upset about having to leave their newfound friends for three months or so. Many hugs and tears were exchanged among the girls and many a manly pat on the back from the boys. (**A/N- Typical.)**

The end of the year feast had been most spectacular, ending in an unplanned shooting off of hundreds of fireworks. The Marauders, of course, took the majority of the credit for the display though it was rumored that they'd hired a few Ravenclaw first years to help. This, however, wasn't true because it was also rumored that the Marauders had gained help from a number of sinister, Dark Arts-obsessed Slytherins, though many would why fireworks would interest these students, a troop of vengeful ghouls, and even the Headmaster, Professor Dumbledore.

No one seemed able to believe that four first-years could pull so many pranks without outside help. The Marauders had shrugged it all off, only concerned about their own entertainment for now.

By the time they reached King's Cross Station, the Marauders had started a few rumors of their own, again for their own entertainment. One in particular involved a family of double-ended newts who had supposedly attacked a group of Hufflepuffs in the greenhouses. It was amazing what utter stupidity people would believe.

As the students streamed off the Hogwarts Express, James waved goodbye to his friends who had quickly spotted their own families. He returned to the compartment to drag his trunk and things out onto the platform. As he pushed a door open, he flew forward and saw a flash of bright red.

Glasses askew, he got up muttering, "Sorry... didn't mean to..." James adjusted his glasses on the brim of his nose. "Evans," he breathed.

"Potter," said Lily curtly, not even glancing up.

She tried to lift her trunk, but it was obviously too heavy because of the loud yelp that escaped her mouth at the effort.

James squinted at her. "If that thing's so heavy, why aren't Vance and Meadows helping you?"

"They left already!" snapped Lily, managing to lift the trunk slightly, but it only resulted in her dropping the end of it on her foot.

James sighed and grabbed one end of the trunk. Lily looked at him suspiciously.

"My mother taught me to help everyone who needs it," said James quietly.

"I don't need help!" retorted Lily.

James gritted his teeth. "Evans, you're going to be stuck on this train until second year if I don't help you, so shut it and help me lift this bloody thing!"

Lily sniffed slightly, but complied. They managed to get her trunk through the door and out onto the platform.

"Thanks," said Lily stiffly.

James shrugged and turned to retrieve his own things from inside the train.

"Potter?" said Lily suddenly and James spun around slowly. She sighed. "Will I ever be rid of you?"

James grinned slightly. "I doubt it."

* * *

I love my cute little ending for First Year! Hopefully I'll be able to start year two soon! In the meantime, give me some encouragement by reviewing! Ta! **E.D.J.**


	21. Scenes of Summer

**Disclaimer**- If it was mine, don't you'd think I'd been running down the street screaming with glee right about now?

**Authoress' Note**- Hi! How is everyone! I apologize for the lack of updating, but I got to a really good part in Summer with Arrogant Prat and felt the need to get two new chapters out for that before I got Chapter 21 out for this story! This chapter was one of the funniest (most fun, but I digress) and interesting chapters to write! Hope you enjoy it as much as I do! Ta! **E.D.J.  
**

**P.S. **I felt so stupid after a review told me that Andromeda was a terribly incorrect age, so I HAD to change the bit of the chapter that she makes an appareance in!

**Thanks for the pretty reviews! Send me more!**

**Constructive Criticism- **

Hello again. I realize that all aspiring writers receive criticism and advice at one point, so I suppose I have to take it all in stride.

I realize the characters don't sound quite their age, but I feel no need to apologize for that. I believe that if I start to write them that way, my story will only appeal to a thin margin of readers: 11 year olds. And since the rating is PG-13, 11 year olds should NOT be reading this in the first place and I really don't wish to tone down the story to make it acceptable for them. Live with it.

I would also like to ask HOW do we have proof that James didn't like Lily first through fourth year? I don't recall Ms. Rowling ever saying that and we have no glimpses to the Marauders' lives during those years from the five books. We really have nothing that says James DIDN'T like Lily back then, only that he fancied her in fifth year. The book doesn't say, "James started liking Lily in fifth year." It merely shows a scene from fifth year where James DID fancy Lily. Also, for my story, I believe James will be pushing that fact to the back of his mind for a while. Denial, as I could so eloquently put it.

I realize that we have no proof for the whole Lily smiling thing, but in my opinion it's very clever foreshadowing on J.K.'s part. I realize other people have different opinions on the whole OoP episode between L/J, but in my interpretation of it, Lily felt strongly about her dislike of JAMES POTTER, not her dislike of pranks. She doesn't say, "Oh I hate pranks! Pranks are evil!" She gets pissed off at JAMES. I'm not saying that Lily will continue pranking people in the future (she will be receiving a prefect badge, so she'll have to set an example) and she will change as she gets older, but everyone is allowed a good joke on someone once in their life. I don't think Lily's THAT much of a prude.

I apologize if you found my particular James/Transfiguration scene offensive. I found it slightly amusing because of course that wouldn't happen! I realize you said nothing about any of that and I apologize. I also still believe that Charms isn't James' weakness and that he merely had trouble with the first class. Everyone has bad days when you can't possibly understand what the professor's trying to teach you. Believe me, I know. I will be incorporating Lily weaknesses, so bear with me, and as I said before, James is obviously better at flying and Lily would lose anything broomstick-related against him. I also can't seem to recall any other big weaknesses James has shown besides the Charms thing, but I'm sure you'll enlighten me.

I find it offensive that you think Lily is Mary-Sue-like. In my opinion, a Mary-Sueunnecessary added character (one who _somehow_ enters in fifth year or so) who all guys drool over, despite the fact that she has only half a brain and is again _somehow _related to all of them. Also she's someone with a barely visible personality that basically consist of so much perkiness, you want to Avada Kedavra her the second she opens her mouth to talk about, you guessed it, fashion and/or how powerful she is and how she defeated Lord Voldemort single-handedly, despite of the fact that it could be possible that Harry's the only one who can kill him. I again realize you said none of this, but that's just my opinion of what a Mary-Sue is. AND I realize that I am basing this on my interpretation of a lot of things, but I am merely trying to show how points of view can differ. I'm not trying to force you to think like me either.

As I said to Miss Anonymous hp, I consider Lily a key part of the Marauders' lives and focusing on her less would again, yes in my OPINION, it wouldn't be realistic. As for saying Lily isn't realistic, I must ask you, what in particular isn't realistic? You haven't ever met someone who can get good grades AND have a sense of humor? Please explain although if it's because she's "perfect", I must say that there are plenty of people whose lives seem "perfect" who really aren't. Celebrities for instance. They've got the money, the cars, the career, but between all that they're smoking crack and are cheating on their spouses. No one is perfect, despite what the outside may portray.

NOW I would like to say that I don't have the time or patience to write such long responses to someone who obviously has problems with my story. I would suggest you read a fic you DO enjoy and review them on how much you like their story to your heart's desire. If you want something Lily/James, I would suggest any of the ones under my favorites list.

**Romulan Empress- **I'm so glad you liked the ending! I thought it was particularly amusing. Yes, blackmail is always entertaining and I'm sure Peter will start hiding his diary better in the years to come. LOL

**anonymous- **Glad you like the story!

**ThelovelyladyLily/Amelia Blibson- **Thank you so much for the support! I haven't let the upset people keep me down yet, but I am getting a bit frustrated with it! I'm so glad you think Lily's realistic and that you liked the self-insertation as unrealistic as it was!

**La Conquistadora- **But Conquistadora! The prat is really hot! Why would she want to be rid of him? I don't think we'll ever be rid of our prat/man-whore either. NOT that anyone will ever end up dating HIM. He's too self-centered for his own good! I can't believe he didn't know what we were spelling at the football game! (I won't mention what we were actually spelling because I don't want people to find out where we live and then they'll stalk us! Gasp!)

**zumanity57- **Oh no laughing at every chapter IS a compliment! I laugh at random stuff too so I do take it as compliment! I do know J.K. Rowling! (complete lie!) We're tight and I know all about what's going to happen in Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince! Did you know that Harry's going to become an Animagus and he'll be a monkey and he'll have all sorts of monkey adventures! (NOTE THE SARCASM PLEASE!) Yes, I'm American and I'm so glad you think I can pass this off as being written by a Brit!

* * *

**Ch. 21- Scenes of Summer**

"MUM! LILY'S DOING IT AGAIN!" shrieked sixteen-year-old Petunia, racing down the stairs and trying to hide behind her mother as Lily entered the kitchen, looking more than a little upset.

Mrs. Evans sighed. "Surely you can handle your twelve-year-old sister, Petunia?"

"She's acting all unnatural," whimpered Petunia as Mrs. Evans dislodged her daughter's hands from her arm and sat her down.

"I only tried to show her a picture of my friends!" protested Lily, waving a photograph in the air.

"It was _moving_," said Petunia through clenched teeth. "They aren't _supposed_ to move."

"Moving?" said Mrs. Evans, interested.

Lily nodded and handed her the photograph, which Mrs. Evans stared at, fascinated.

"That's Emmeline and Bella," said Lily, her voice shaking slightly as she pointed out her waving friends. She whirled on Petunia. "Wizarding photos are _supposed_ to move."

Petunia opened her mouth to retort, but was silenced by a look from their mother.

"Petunia, off with you," said Mrs. Evans, waving her away. "Isn't Maude arriving in an hour, dear?"

At the mention of her best friend's visit, Petunia shrieked and frantically jumped up. With a last glare at Lily, she said, "If you have anything of _yours_ lying around the house, get rid of it _now_. I won't have Maude thinking we're anything, but respectable, normal people." With that, Petunia disappeared in a whirl of cleaning supplies.

"And it's _only _June," muttered Lily, going to retrieve her wand and Exploding Snap cards from the parlor. "That's a lot of Petunia."

* * *

Meanwhile, at the Potter residence, James was being told off by the housekeeper Fiona. 

"Dungbombs in the kitchen, spiking the maids' dinner to make their hair grow abnormally, sneaking off to Diagon Alley whenever you choose! What will I tell your parents when they get back from Bermuda tomorrow?" Fiona demanded, her face quite red.

James gave her an innocent grin. "What you always tell them, Fio. That I was a good little boy and I was a _delight_ for the staff to take care of for a week!"

"I most certainly won't tell them that!" she snapped. "I'll tell them you were a terror, like always."

"No you won't," said James, smirking slightly. "That's what you always say. Even last year, when I accidentally set the neighbor's cat on fire, you told Mum and Dad that I was an _angel_."

"James Potter! How many times do I have to tell you not eavesdrop?" Fiona scowled at him.

"Maybe once more," said James nonchalantly. My skull's pretty thick."

"Fine!" said Fiona flatly, throwing up her hands. "I'll tell them you were a bloody delight."

"Now, now Fio. No swearing in front of the impressionable twelve-year old," said James, shaking a finger at her.

Fiona gritted her teeth. "You are impossible. I will tell your parents 'Oh James was completely wonderful!' And don't call me Fio."

"Alright, Fio," said James agreeably. Fiona glared at him. James simply shrugged. "It slipped. They won't believe you anyway. Mum and Dad know me too well to be fooled by those wonderful lies you tell when their come home from their holidays."

"And with good reason too!" snapped Fiona. "I can't imagine having James Potter for a son. They're made of stronger stuff than me."

"You know you love me, Fio," cooed James, hugging her.

"Geroff me, you little terror!" yelped Fiona, feeling herself soften slightly.

James grinned at her and ran off, ignoring Fiona's order to 'Not run in the house!'

* * *

Sirius sat drumming his cutlery against the dining table as he anxiously sat inside Number Twelve Grimmauld Place. Mrs. Black shot him a withering look, which Sirius returned with an eye roll. 

"When are we going to eat?" whined ten-year-old Regulus from where he sat across from Sirius. He tugged at the collar of his itchy, new black dress robes.

"As soon as your cousins come, dear," said Mrs. Black, beaming at her favorite son. "With three girls, it takes awhile for Auntie Andrina and Uncle Casimir to get to dinner on time." (**A/N- Casimir is pronounced KAZ-i-meer and means "to destroy peace" Very fitting, don't you think?)**

"I'd Avada Kedavra myself with three daughters," muttered Mr. Black darkly. "It would be a nightmare."

"It can't be worse than having one ungrateful _Gryffindor_ son," snapped Mrs. Black, shooting a glare at Sirius.

"Don't mind me, Mum," said Sirius bitingly. "I didn't choose to be born into a family of crazed, pureblood fanatics."

Mrs. Black made a violent gesture and reached for her wand. But, just then, the doorbell chimed eerily and she was forced to answer it. "Blood-traitor," she hissed as she left.

"I love you too, Mum!" Sirius shouted at her retreating back.

Mrs. Black soon returned, leading Mr. Black's brother's family inside the dining room. Andrina and Casimir seated themselves by Sirius's parents. Eighteen-year-old, icily blonde Narcissa and dark-haired Bellatrix, who was unfortunately still Sirius's own age, sat on either side of Regulus. Only nineteen-year-old Andromeda seated herself next to Sirius, beaming at him through her dark brown curls.

"'Lo Andromeda," said Sirius, smiling at his favorite cousin.

"How was your first year of Hogwarts?" asked Andromeda. "I highly doubt Slytherin House misses me."

"It's because you were halfway decent," growled Sirius. "You're the only respectable Slytherin to ever come through the school. Kids are still talking about you two years after you've graduated!"

"Really?" asked Andromeda, wide-eyed as the two families tucked in to their dinners. "I didn't think people noticed me _that _much. Has Bellatrix been showing the side effects of 'the disease' at school?"

'The disease' was what they referred to as the obsession with a wizard's blood that seemed to infect their entire family, not to mention those other families that dated back as far as anyone could remember.

"Enough of it that it makes me want to pummel her on sight," Sirius stated, shooting a glare at Bellatrix who merely ignored him.

Narcissa had taken in this whole conversation in and saw an opportunity for Sirius's undoing. She cleared her throat. "Aunt Odessa, Uncle Devereux, did you know that Sirius has befriended the son of Jonathan and Arleen Potter?" (**A/N- Devereux is pronounced DEV-u-ruu, but it doesn't have a fitting meaning. It means "from Evreux" so yeah...)**

Her words hung in the air for a moment, and she could see her aunt and uncle's faces getting quite furious-looking, so she pressed on gleefully. "A_nd_ he's friends with a halfblood named Remus Lupin."

Sirius leaned back in his chair and looked entirely unconcerned. "I'm not ashamed of my friends," he stated with a slight yawn in Narcissa's direction.

"You are friends with a blood-traitor and a halfblood?" said Mrs. Black slowly, her grey eyes glinting angrily.

"Oh course! What else would you expect to find in dirty old Gryffindor?" said Sirius sarcastically.

"GET OUT OF MY SIGHT!" shrieked Mrs. Black.

"Gladly," shouted Sirius, ducking the antique salt cellar that had been thrown at his head.

With that, he disappeared up to his room and began secretly packing.

* * *

Late that night, someone shook James awake. 

"What do you want?" he asked blearily, fumbling for his glasses. Once he found them, he saw a small bat-eared house elf standing next to his bed, wringing her hands. "Hol... Holly, what are you doing here?" asked James, stifling a yawn.

"Holly is sorry for disturbing you, young master, but there is a... a boy at the door who insist that he see you right now," said Holly, her voice clearly distraught. "He say he cannot come back in the morning because he... cannot go home."

"What the..." grumbled James, slipping on his dressing gown and padding down the stairs to the front hall. "SIRIUS?" he yelped.

"Hello, Jamesie!" said Sirius cheerfully.

"_What_ are you doing here?" asked James.

"Oh well, you said I should visit sometime this summer, so here I am!" said Sirius brightly.

"I meant when I _invited_ you," sighed James.

"Minor detail," said Sirius casually. "Actually, I got into a bit of a spat with my mum and dad, and I thought they might hex me into oblivion if I stayed at home, so I came here."

"A spat?" asked James. "About what?"

"They weren't too approving when cousin Narcissa told them who my friends were," said Sirius with a slight eye roll. "No offense to you, Jamesie, but your family isn't the best example of an upstanding pureblood family, at least not in my parents' opinion. They also weren't too happy about Remus's grandmum being a Muggleborn."

James snorted. "Upstanding _pureblood_ family? I don't think such a thing exists. Either you're a crazed fanatic who thinks we should bar all Muggleborns from society or you couldn't give a wit and half who's standing next to you as long as they aren't going to put some odd jinx on you."

"Too true, too true."

Suddenly two loud knocks came on the front door. James turned to Sirius with raised eyebrows.

"Oh..." said Sirius sheepishly. "Did I mention that I invited Peter and Remmy over too?"

"WHAT?" yelped James. "When? How?"

"I owled them before I left," said Sirius with a shrug. "'Said that you had left it to me tell them that you were inviting us all over to your home for Merlin knows how long."

"And they _believed_ you?" asked James, gaping.

"Apparently."

"Mum will murder me," groaned James, going to answer the door.

A tired, looking-worse-for-wear Remus and a wide-eyed, slightly green-looking Peter stood on the doorstep.

"Quaffle pajamas, James?" asked Remus wearily. "Only you." He tossed a bag at James and dragged his trunk inside before collapsing on the sofa. "Sirius, remind me again why you were stupid enough to tell us to take the Knight Bus?" Remus asked through gritted teeth.

"It's the fastest and only _legal _way for underage wizards to travel!" protested Sirius.

"And it's also the only way to travel which makes you heave up your dinner," said Remus pointedly.

At the mention of 'heaving up your dinner', Peter was sick all over the Potters' floor.

"Oh damn," swore James. "Loo's down the hall, Pete, if youthink you need to upchuck something else, I have to go find someone to clean this up."

James disappeared down the hall.

Sirius stared at Remus with interest. "Are you going to feel the need to be sick too? I don't think anything can beat that mess Peter's made."

Remus elbowed Sirius weakly and grumbled something incoherent. Peter had already disappeared to the loo.

By the time James had returned with the house elf Holly, all three of his friends were asleep; Sirius in an armchair, Remus on the sofa, and Peter... well Peter was asleep in the loo.

* * *

Did you like it? I did, but that's my opinion! It was particularly fun to write the insight into Sirius' family. Evil buggers. Sorry about the lack of Lily's summer, but what do you think a Muggle-born's summer would be like? EXACTLY like how all our own nonmagical summers are! Sigh... Please review!** E.D.J. **

**P.S. **I would advise you all to check out the two MuggleNet links I've added to my authoress' page or whatever it's called. They are high-freaking-larious (Props to La Conquistadora for getting that into my head)! One is a hilarious bunch of scenes involving EVIL HARRY and the other is 101 Ways to Annoy Lord Voldemort! Most fun!


	22. Mrs Potter

**Disclaimer- **As always, it's not mine although I do own a number of nice (and PRETTY) things.

**Authoress' Note**- I apologize to my Summer with the Arrogant Prat readers for not updating it before this one (I try to write my fics in a rotation so one of them doesn't sit forever while the others skyrocket ahead), but I'm in a Seven Years of Marauding mood right now and I DID update Summer (too lazy to write the whole title) twice in a row and within a period of 2-3 days too! A record! I'll get the next chapter written and posted soon! Much love! **E.D.J. **

**P.S. **Fanfiction wouldn't let me upload this yesterday and I was thinking about holding onto this chapter till Friday, but I'm too anxious to wait that long! Be grateful that I'm unable to withhold chapters from you guys!

**Thanks for the reviews!**

**La Conquistadora- **You do like to end everything with FIN don't you? Because of your request to see James' parents' reactions to James' three friends suddenly appearing in their home, this chapter is still in the summer! Unlike I'd planned. See how much nice stuff I do for you? Can't think of else to say... I know, I know ME not being able to talk? Shocking!

**ThelovelyladyLily**- Glad you like the chapter! And yes Sirius rocks my socks!

**Constructive Criticism**- Hi! Thank you for pointing out the whole Andromeda thing. If you go back a chapter, you'll see she's now nineteen. Whoo she aged eight years! I feel stupid for not figuring the whole age thing out. Sorry! I did that earlier in the story with Molly Weasley, but then I did something calculating about her age and her children's' ages, so I removed her from the story and made her older. Anyway, thank you for pointing that out right away so I could fix it. I DO use the Harry Potter Lexicon to check facts though. I even think I checked the Remus being a half-blood fact from the last chapter, but the Andromeda thing didn't come to mind!

I won't go into the whole age thing again, but it won't be changing. I know underage people read R rated fics and it completely sickens me. But it's not so much the readers' ages as the fact that R rated stuff is out there. I'm sure some of it's extremely well-written and yada yada yada, but do these writers actually believe that Ms. Rowling's books, which eight-year-olds are reading, are going to suddenly become some sort of sex fest between the sixteen year old characters? Anyway I think taking a relatively PG book and making a fic go so far that it needs an R rating is just wrong. Just my thoughts. –end rant-

I don't really think Lily has a tragic upbringing at all. Sure her older sister has a great deal of anger and fear towards her, but does that really classify as "tragic"? I don't think I've given Lily any amazing powers either, but anywho...

Also, I realize you are offended by other people's reviews, but as you said, by posting my fics I AM asking for other people's opinions and I would consider their opinions to extend to the things other reviewers say. Please refrain from insulting my other readers in your reviews because they, as well as you, are entitled to their own opinions involving anything and everything that is connected to my stories.

I agree with you that merely writing "The story's good! Update!" and sending your review on its way has almost no value. Reviews that I consider valuable are ones that tell me what they liked in the chapter because then I actually know that they read the chapter and didn't just skim over it and write "Oh yeah it's good!" Also people who simply write, "I liked it, but it wasn't as good/funny as the last chapter" are useless because they don't point out what could have made it better or more funny. I know sometimes people have little time to write a review when a certain chapter comes out, so I suppose in those circumstances something is better than nothing if that person truly feels the need to say something to me.

I'd like to thank you for all the advice, but I will say that I can't guarantee that I'll follow it. I like to think I'm writing for me rather than for the readers because of the fact that I enjoy writing and developing my own view on how things would happen during the Marauder years. I'll contemplate any and all advice (I'll try not to be offended by it or take it too personally) and would only ask that you perhaps include something that you DID like from a particular chapter to let me know that you find something well-written, funny, etc... I'm a person who likes to know if parts of chapters I enjoyed were truly liked by readers too. It's quite alright if that's not your style though.

**Romulan Empress**- Ouch, a cast. Not fun. Glad you liked the chapter.

**Tri**- I'm happy to have a new reader! Though what you said about most fics have Remus and Sirius having the same character when they are young confuses me. Are you saying that they are like that in my story or aren't? And are you considering that a good or bad thing? Lily will be showing weaknesses and losing battles all in good time. I'll try to start avoiding that in future chapters, but it may be because I enjoy seeing the girl outwit the guy, you know girl power! –whirl of confetti- I'm not saying she'll never win again and yada yada yada, but I'm sure she'll "lose" in future chapters. The Marauders DID manage to prank her with the hair dye stuff though. –sniggers- Anyway before you say it, Lily is not my favorite character and I'm not making good things happen to her because of favoritism. I love the Marauders so much than Lily. Especially REMUS! And if you are a Remus/Sirius shipper please get off my page this instant before I burn you with my laser vision. I don't think that those too are so unlovable that they have to get together with each other. Sigh...

* * *

**Ch. 22- Mrs. Potter**

Lily Evans was woken by an earsplitting shriek that seemed to shake the entire house.

"WHAT IS THIS BLOODY BIRD DOING IN MY BEDROOM?" screeched a voice, which had to be Petunia's because only she was capable of making her voice reach such high decibels so early in the morning.

Lily didn't even bother to get up and see what was the matter.

Let her handle it, she grumbled to herself. It's not like Petunia will appreciate you helping anyhow.

Lily grabbed her well-read copy of _A History of Magic _from her bedside table and quickly hid herself behind it, so she would look entirely innocent when Petunia came barging into her room.

Sure enough, nearly thirty seconds later, Petunia ran into her younger sister's room, still shrieking. She was trailed by a rather ruffled-looking grey owl. "What is this... thing doing in my room?" demanded Petunia, flinching as the owl flapped over her head to land on the bed next to Lily.

Lily stroked its head absently and said nonchalantly, "I suppose she flew through the first open window she found. If it bothers you so much, maybe you should think of shutting them before you go to sleep."

Petunia gave a loud indignant huff and stomped out of the room.

"What do we have here?" Lily asked softly, untying the letter from the owl's leg. "Ah, it's from Emmeline. I should have guessed."

She slit open the envelope and proceeded to giggle through the rather lengthy letter:

_Dear Lily,_

_How are you? I'm fine, but my home is always positively mad during the summer holidays. My brother Liam is finally back from doing only Merlin knows what for the Department of Magical Transportation in Luxembourg. I think it had something with testing country-to-country Portkeys. Yes, I do remember Liam saying something about traveling from Spain to Germany in ten seconds flat. Why it required him to stay in Luxembourg for six months I'll never know. Couldn't they have just let him use one of those Portkeys to go back and forth between here and Luxembourg? Anyway, we're all thrilled to have him back particularly Mum who nearly started bawling the second he apparated in (though it could be possible she was crying because he accidentally landed on top of the new Fanged Geranium she bought on sale in the garden shop next to Flourish and Blotts). _

_We keep getting invited to tea at all the neighbors' homes since Liam's been back. I suspect the invitations are not so much to welcome him back as to allow their daughters a chance to fuss over him. Liam never seems too upset by it, so I suppose he enjoys having girls throw themselves at him. I find it quite hilarious in a sickening sort of way, but after one tea where the daughter spent nearly two hours making puppy-dog eyes at my brother and whispering to her friends about how 'devastatingly handsome' he is, I'd had about enough. I've been trying to convince Mum and Dad to let me out of going to the next few, but they keep going on about how rude it would be if I didn't show up. Even Dad, who's a Muggle, insists that I keep going. I admit I was a bit snarky at him for the next few days after that. _

_We've even had a party to celebrate Liam's homecoming and I was stuck with the unhappy task of entertaining the Hogwarts-age kids, which, unfortunately, included Faye's simpering sidekick, Deidra Lennox and those two Hufflepuff girls whofancy Potter. The bright spot of the evening was I somehow convinced Mum to invite the Lupins (who Mum knows somewhat from the Ministry) and _Remus_ came! My jaw nearly hit the floor when someone tapped me on the shoulder and it turned out to be him! I'm sure he thought I was beyond mad, standing there, gaping like an idiot, but then I somehow snapped out of it and he helped me start some chess, Gobstones, and Exploding Snap tournaments amongst everyone. Remus even asked me to play chess against him, and I lost spectacularly, due to the fact that I wasn't paying much attention to the game, if you know what I mean. You know I've got it bad if I can't even manage to beat him in chess, Lils! I am the master of the game and I could barely remember, what shape a knight moves in! I'm starting to babble, aren't I? I don't care! Remus even told me he "had fun" before he left! Alright, alright I'll stop, but when you find a bloke that you fancy, don't come crying to me about how I never listen to you! _

_Much love, _

_Emmeline_

When she was finished reading the letter, Lily grabbed a slightly crumpled piece of parchment off her desk and sucked on the end of her quill as she proceeded to write her response:

_Dear Emmeline,_

_Life in the Evans's house is so boring compared to what your house sounds like! Even a life with one Muggle parent has got to be more interesting than here. I _am _happy to see my family (though certainly not Petunia who nearly had a heart attack when your owl arrived), but I feel so separated from the wizarding world. It's driving me absolutely bonkers! I spend most of my time reading, so I don't go completely mad. Has Bella written you at all? She's written me a few times, but she's really not the letter-writing type, is she?_

_I wish I could have seen how even half-wizarding families throw parties, but I suppose it was mostly families of girls interested in Liam, eh? I'd pretend to be in love with him if that's what it took to receive an invitation! Yes, I'm sure you're vomiting at the thought right now. Do try to keep it off your carpet though. I've heard it stains (and smells) rather badly. _

_I can't believe your Mum actually invited the Lupins! Wasn't she at all suspicious of why you asked her to? Nevertheless, it sounds like you had fun, despite Deidra and the sickeningly Hufflepuff drips being there. _

_Nothing much has happened here since you last wrote. Petunia's still getting a number of lectures a day from Mum and sometimes Dad, for calling me a 'freak' and the like, but she doesn't seem to care that she's lost access to the telephone and the telly. The next thing to tick off the list will be seeing her friends, but so far she's doesn't seem to want to lose that particular privilege. The whole insult episodes have quickly gotten old and I'm starting to just tune her out, which seems to make her even angrier. It barely even gets to me anymore because she seems to have run out of original insults and has had to resort back to previously used ones. _

_  
I simply cannot wait until September to go back to Hogwarts! I miss you and Bella so much! I'll give your owl a good kick if she's slow in getting you this letter. Just kidding. I think the poor bird's already damaged enough by Petunia. _

_Love,  
_

_Lily_

Lily slipped the letter into an envelope and sealed it. The owl held out its leg, and she tied the letter on. The owl gave an indignant hoot (it was probably still upset about all the shrieking from Petunia) and glided out the window while Lily watched fondly as the bird became smaller and smaller until it was no more than a speck on the horizon. She hoped it would find somewhere to bed down for the day because most Muggles would be quite unnerved to see an owl flying by day, let alone one carrying a letter.

After gazing out at the bright morning light that filtered into her room for a few minutes, Lily decided to get dressed and try to scrounge up some breakfast before retreating outside to read.

* * *

"JAMES POTTER! JUST WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS, YOUNG MAN?" 

James gave astart and shot up, realizing he was in the sitting room and not in his bed. He rubbed his eyes and found himself looking into the angry blue eyes of his mother. He glanced around and noticed Sirius, Remus, and Peter blinking bewilderedly at him. They too had been woken by Mrs. Potter's shouting.

"Oh damn," muttered James.

"What have I told you about using those types of words, James?" said Mrs. Potter, her voice rather fiery.

"Sorry, Mum. Won't happen again."

"Of course it won't!" snapped Mrs. Potter, sighing slightly. "Now, how did these boys get into my house?"

James looked at his friends helplessly, making sure to give Sirius a stony glare for causing this whole mess.

Sirius winced as James's eyes bore into him and he said slowly, "I'm Sirius Black and I'm sorry, Mrs. Potter. This was all my idea. You see, I wanted to get away from my parents for a bit and your home was the first place that came to mind." He sighed heavily. "I invited Remus and Peter here too so we could have more fun with all four of us here instead of just James and me all by our lonesome." Sirius hung his head, trying to look the picture of guilt, shame, and at the same time, innocence.

"Well, dear Merlin," said Mrs. Potter, a smile playing across her face. "If I didn't have James here," She jerked a finger at her son who smiled guiltily, "that performance would have been quite convincing, Sirius."

Sirius's head immediately jerked up, and he grinned smugly.

"Now, James," said Mrs. Potter, her voice business-like. "If you want your friends to visit here for some of the holiday, I would insist that you don't have the staying in my sitting room. You can move their things into three of the guest bedrooms. But first, please introduce me to your friends."

James grinned inwardly at how capable his mother was of switching off her anger with barely the blink of an eye. He cleared his throat. "Well you met Sirius." He pointed at the boy who was still grinning. "His parents are nasty Slytherin purebloods, and he got angry at them, so he came here. And this is Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew." He pointed to his other two friends.

"Wonderful to meet you, boys," said Mrs. Potter, smiling at them. "Well, I'll inform your father we have guests, and I would suggest you four start moving things upstairs."

With that, Mrs. Potter turned around and walked briskly toward the kitchen.

* * *

After lugging the trunks and bags upstairs, which resulted in an injured foot and a lot of whimpering from Peter, the boys trudged down to the kitchen, their stomachs growling. A breakfast of eggs and toast was already set out for them, and they all dug in eagerly. 

When they had finished, James suggested a game of Quidditch in the hidden clearing behind the house and his three friends agreed heartily. Sirius ran upstairs to get his own broomstick, and James lent his father's broom to Remus and found one of his old ones for Peter. Brooms over their shoulders, they ran outside and drew straws for teams. Remus and Sirius were paired together and James and Peter were the other team. James insisted he play Chaser since he planned to try out for the position in September, and Sirius planned to try out for Keeper, so he whined ceaselessly until Remus finally let him have it out of sheer frustration.

Peter threw the Quaffle up in the air between Remus and James and rocketed backwards, nearly missing the makeshift goal hoops he was supposed to be guarding. James, being a more experienced Chaser than Remus, was able to easily grab the Quaffle from the air, and he zoomed toward Sirius's end of the makeshift pitch. He feinted to the left, but Sirius easily caught the ball as it flew toward the center hoop. Later, however, James managed to get a goal past Sirius. The game continued in much the same fashion with Sirius and James saving and making a similar number of goals while Remus and Peter made a few goals and saves of their own.

It's a good thing they'll be on the same team, observed Remus as he caught the Quaffle under his arm and held up a hand to stop James from barreling into him. James jerked to a halt in midair, narrowly avoiding knocking Remus off his broom.

"I'm beat," said Remus tiredly. "Do you mind if I watch for a while?"

James wiped sweat off his forehead and nodded. Remus _did_ look rather peaky. Remus slowly descended to the ground and headed back up the house. He returned with a copy of _Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them_ under his arm and settled himself against a tree, grinning as he watched James and Peter attempt to get goals past Sirius who seemed to be trying to throw pinecones at them as well as defend the goal posts.

Nearly an hour and half later, the three boys landed with thumps on the ground, but Remus was so engrossed in his book that he didn't notice them until the book was ripped from his hands.

"'_Once a month, at the full moon, the otherwise sane and normal wizard or Muggle afflicted transforms into a murderous beast. Almost uniquely among fantastic creatures, the werewolf actively seeks humans in preference to any other kind of prey_,'" read Sirius. He squinted at Remus who looked a bit pale. "What are you reading about werewolves for? Yeesh. '_Ministry of Magic Classification: XXXXX or known wizard killer/impossible to train or domesticate._' There has to be something a bit less frightening in here." Sirius thumbed through the book. "Ah, here's something. '_The Clabbert is a tree-dwelling creature, in appearance something like a cross between a monkey and a frog._'" (**A/N- Excerpts are from the _Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them_ book by Newt Scamander a.k.a. J.K. Rowling)**

He handed the book back to Remus who mumbled a thank you, but didn't glance back at the book again.

"Are you alright, Remmy?" asked James, noticing his friend's pale face.

"Yeah I'm fine!" said Remus, his voice a little too cheery. "Are you three done with Quidditch?"

Sirius, James, and Peter nodded and James suggested they go back inside and clean up. His friends willingly agreed and the four boys trudged back up to the house.

* * *

I don't know about you, but I feel sorry for poor Remmy! –huggles Remus- Sorry that it was a bit short! Hope you liked the chapter anyway! Mwa mwa! **E.D.J.**

**P.S. **Yay! I'm happy now because all my divider things are working now-pauses- I probably just jinxed it. Damn! **  
**


	23. The Beginning of a Nightmare

**Disclaimer-** Is it mine-snorts- Pigs might fly.

**Authoress's Note**- Sorry about the lack of updating-tears- And yes Crazy Chats readers, I didn't update that fic first, but I'll get to it... eventually. Homework, homework, and more homework plus extracurricular activities are taking hold (La Conquistadora this is why we should never participate!). I'm tired and don't know what else to say except that this chapter has very little humor. Not because of trouble writing on my part, mind you, but because it just CAN'T be funny for most of the chapter and still be believable. That's all I'm going to say. **E.D.J.**

**Thank you for the wonderful reviews!**

**Tri- **I deeply apologize for the gay couple thing. I was terribly angry about Remus/Sirius coupledom at that moment and a review I got for a different fic "to give Remus back to Sirius" or something and I took it out on you. I apologize. No, I won't get mad at you for having different views on my fic. I'm really trying to be at accepting critcism and yours was hardly insulting. Yes Marauders Rock and Girl Power!

**ThelovelyladyLily**- I'm glad you liked Remus reading about werewolves!

**Melody**- Yay! New reader/reviewer! I'm glad you like the fic! And 2 days to finish this-whistles- This IS getting long and new readers have a lot of chapter to finish to catch up with everyone else!

**Constructive Criticism- **Grr... I lost my original response to you, so I will quickly try to summarize since I'm due to go to bed. I was wrong about the age thing. Basically what I mean is I won't be so entertained trying to write the characters their correct age. I don't hate slash writers as people I only hate what they're doing to characters. Yes, you all have the right to expression your opinion, I just don't want a reviewer fight clogging up my inbox. Thank you for refraining from that. Glad you liked part of the last chapter and were able to tell me. Authoress/Author probably based on some nontrue gender thing at first, but I don't feel that way now and I basically write it out of habit and it adds a little flourish to my author's notes.

**La Conquistadora**- Woe is you because you got your way-shakes head- The otter needs friends!

**MissPadfoot92**- This is one of the best Marauder stories-gapes astonished- Thank you! Yes er... sorry about your er... Siri's injuries. Don't worry he's a fast healer. Favorite Marauder? Remus! He's so sarcastic and witty-drools- Remus and James are really close but I'm pretty sure Remus is ahead. So yeah Marauders and Lily order from best to worst for me goes: Remus, James, Sirius, Lily, Peter. Don't get me wrong, I simply LOVE Sirius and he is so fun and easy to write, but Remus and James, sigh... Anyway yes I like Lily, but I truly love the Marauders more. They are (usually) extremely fun and easy to write and Lily always comes harder for me unless she's extremely angry then I would say it's not as hard to write her.

* * *

**Ch. 23- The Beginning of A Nightmare**

"Morning, Mum," yawned James as he and his three friends sat down at the breakfast table.

His mother didn't say anything; she just stared blankly at the copy of the _Daily Prophet_ in front of her.

"Mum?" asked James uncertainly, waving a hand in front of her eyes.

"Seven people," breathed Mrs. Potter, her voice shaking. "No warning at all."

"Mum, what are you on about?" asked James, gently prying the newspaper from his mother's hands.

He gaped at the front page. A picture of a smoking, ruined building filled half the page, but that wasn't the worst of it. A skull, that seemed to be made of some sort of eerie stars, floated above the building, a snake protruding from its open mouth.

"'Seven killed in Kent by a supposed 'Lord Voldemort'," read Sirius from over James's shoulder. "Blimey."

"It was a Muggle-born and her family," croaked Mrs. Potter, tears glistening on her cheeks. "Cursed within an inch of their life and then killed with Avada Kedavra to finish the job." She drew in a shaky breath. "Myra Aisley was her name and you couldn't find a sweeter girl. She was one of the secretaries for us down at the Auror Headquarters and she was in charge of the files that documented every Auror's whereabouts and patrol assignments. She wouldn't tell them anything, so… they tortured her. Then, they turned on Myra's family and she… somehow managed to apparate to the Ministry and warn them of this 'Lord Voldemort' and his followers before she died. Charles (**A/N- Current Minister of Magic, Charles Burton)** was in hysterics when he appeared in the fire this morning.I didn't believe him, but here it is!" She pointed furiously at the newspaper. "And this won't be the end! No, it won't be the end. I can feel it, the evil tide that's coming! What will stop him from killing again? He and his followers got out without even a scratch! One young, twenty-something-year-old witch is no match for these people. But, they won't get off so easily the next time. Your father and I will be waiting, and we will _fight_."

All four boys stared at Mrs. Potter warily, noting the glint in her eyes.

"Did this Myra Aisley tell the Ministry anything else?" asked Remus tentatively.

Mrs. Potter nodded. "This man claims to be 'purifying' the wizarding community. That has to say something about his character and how far he's willing to go with this little 'campaign.'"

Both Remus and Peter shifted uncomfortably, knowing their own blood wasn't as pure as it could be.

"I'm sure Headquarters is in an uproar," said Mrs. Potter, hiccupping slightly as she stood. "There hasn't be a murder this severe in near ten years. Your father and I had better go see what we can do." She turned to go, but then stopped and caught James up in a bone-crushing hug. "Stay safe, James," she whispered, her voice wavering.

"I will, Mum," said James soothingly, patting his mother's back.

She finally released him and, wiping her streaming eyes, she Disapparated.

"I can't believe someone actually _did_ something," breathed Sirius, staring unblinking at the picture in the _Daily Prophet_. "I mean, Mum and Dad and their friends were always going on about how we should wipe all Muggleborns and halfbloods from society, but…" He gave a low whistle and shook his head sadly. "I know what your mum means, James. With people like my family supporting this 'lord', this won't be the end."

* * *

Lily was woken by loud, frantic screeching and banging against her window. Groggily, she stumbled over to the window and thrust it open. Two rather ruffled and frightened-looking owls shot inside. 

"What's the matter?" asked Lily, confused as the owls fluttered around the room nervously.

She managed to snare on of the owls with a blanket and Lily wrestled the letter from its leg. She released the owl, and it hooted indignantly before flapping over to sit on one of her bedposts.

Lily opened the letter and in spidery, shaky handwriting it read:

_Lily? Lily? Are you alright? Oh Merlin, I'm going mad with worry right now. Owl me back as soon as you get this! It you don't… well I'll assume the worst. _

_Bella_

What was Bella talking about? Lily wondered. Why would there be anything wrong with me?

Suddenly, she felt a sharp nip at her elbow, and she turned to find the other owl looking quite irritated with a bit of her nightgown now clasped in its beak.

"Oh, a terror is what you are!" cried Lily, tossing a pillow at the owl as she examined the hole in her sleeve. "Bloody owl."

She sighed and then reached for the owl. She grappled with it until she pulled the letter free of its leg, but not without being raked by the rather insulted owl's talons a number of times.

Wincing at the long scratches on her arms, Lily opened the letter. It was a bit more level-headed than Bella's, but, nonetheless, still very unclear:

_Lily,_

_Oh I _do_ hope you're alright! My mum and dad are frantic thinking that we'll be next, and Mum's already started researching security charms and defense spells. Everyone in the whole wizarding world is in an upheaval because they're certain this is going to be the 'long and bloody war begun by the spilling of supposed bad blood and led by one whose name will become feared and unspoken.' The Seer Cassandra Trelawney predicted that some number of years ago. Frankly, I don't know what to believe. It's not like this Seer mentioned any specific names, did she? There's a copy of the _Daily Prophet_ article enclosed since I'm sure it can explain everything much better than I can. My nerves are too shot._

_Worried,_

_Emmeline_

Just then, Lily noticed the newspaper clipping that had fallen to the floor. She stared at the twinkling skull and snake image, and her eyes widened as she read. 'One Muggleborn and six Muggles dead', 'no leads', and 'purity of blood' seemed to jump off the page, and her hands began to shake violently.

"Why?" Lily whispered, feeling her eyes prickle as she wrote short notes to Bella and Emmeline and shooed the owls out the window. Her question hung in the air unanswered, and she felt herself begin to wonder if she really belonged in the wizarding world.

"Stop it," Lily told herself sternly. "They wouldn't have sent you a Hogwarts letter in the first place if you weren't supposed to belong."

She glanced absently at her lap and noticed she had torn the article to pieces while she'd been thinking. Lily tossed the pieces in the wastebasket and decided the only way to get her mind off the murders would be to be productive.

Damn.

Lily sighed and pulled her Defense Against the Dark Arts book from the stack on her desk along with a spare bit of parchment. She flipped open the book to the section on Minor Hex and Jinx Deflection she was supposed to be writing an essay on. Lily sighed as she read. She was alright at the practical part of Defense Against the Dark Arts, but when it came totheory, Lily was unable to keep it all in her head. There were so many spells to counter different hexes and jinxes, and she had to know them all! Lily did fine it class where Professor Dearborn would tell them the correct incantation to counter their partner's attack, but in a real duel she wouldn't know what her opponent would attack with. She was told all students would be having strictly monitored practice duels sometime during their years at Hogwarts, and the very thought made her sweat. She could attack and dodge a spell well enough, but there was only so much Lily could do without knowing how to stop or deflect certain spells.

Lily turned the page and skimmed the section on the Jelly-Legs Jinx, not taking in a word of it. "Only six more years of this," she muttered.

* * *

All anyone in the wizarding world could talk about was the mass killing, whether or not the supposed prophesy was true, and if they were indeed on the brink of a deadly war. The Aurors were pulling double, sometimes triple shifts at the office and had patrols circulating different areas across the U.K. every night. The Muggle-Worthy Excuse Committee was also incredibly overworked because the floating skull about the Aisleys' home refused to disappear, despite the Accidental Magic Reversal Squad's efforts. The committee had given the Muggles excuses about pranks gone haywire and skywriting mishaps, but the excuses were starting to wear thin. 

Sirius, Remus, and Peter, despite loud grumbling from Sirius, returned home due to their families' worries about having them end up dead if Lord Voldemort decided to launch an attack against the Aurors. Well, truthfully, in Sirius's case, his parents didn't want the killer to think their son was associating with blood traitors and have him get killed along with the Potters, bringing disgrace to the Black family name. Now, Mr. and Mrs. Potter were rarely home any given night and James soon began to worry about them never returning the next morning.

It came as a relief when September first arrived, and all the students would return to school. Parents were skeptical about their children's safety, but Professor McGonagall had sent out letters explaining all the known security precautions already surrounding Hogwarts and the new charms that had been added. The parents finally relented.

On September first, James found himself alone on Platform Nine and Three-Quarters; his parents having been called to the office. He felt rather lonely and was relieved when his roommate Frank Longbottom came over to say hello.

"I'll give you three guesses what everyone's whispering about," sighed Frank, nodding at the huddle groups of studentsmilling aboutthe platform.

"It's no wonder they've started referring to him as 'You-Know-Who'," said James, shaking his head.

"Your mum and dad got called to the Ministry too?" asked Frank. "Same as almost everyone else."

James glanced around and noticed how few adults were on the platform. "Do you really think it'll be a full blown _war_?" he whispered. "It's not as if we've had very many new Aurors in the past few years either. All the recruits drop out of training sooner or later these days. It would be perfect timing for him to launch a huge attack on us. The less Aurors he has to defeat, the easier it will be."

Frank shuddered. "Let's talk about something else. You-Know-Who gives me the creeps."

James sighed and wondered what his parents were doing at the office. Probably going mental over another fake attack report again, he thought. People are turning into right loons, thinking they're going to be killed around every corner.

James was shaken out of his thoughts when someonesmacked him hard in the shoulder and shouted, "JAMESIE!"

"Dear Merlin, Sirius," grumbled James, rubbing his shoulder. "My arm's gone numb."

"I'm sure you'll survive," said Remus, popping up on James's left. "Where's Peter?"

"How am I supposed to know?" snapped James, waving goodbye to Frank as he went to go greet a few of his Ravenclaw friends. "I don't even know where my parents are half the time let alone Peter."

"Touchy, aren't we?" said Remus coolly. "We may as well find a compartment and wait for him there."

James didn't respond, he just grabbed his trunk and dragged across the platform toward the train. After lunging it to a compartment near the end of the train, he put his trunk on the luggage rack, and threw himself violently into a seat, arms crossed.

"Don't pout, James," said Sirius, sitting down next to his best friend. "It doesn't make you look at all becoming."

"Like I care," muttered James, but he instantly wiped the sulky look off his face.

Peter soon appeared and sat down with the other three Marauders. They were having a tremendously good time not thinking about the fear that seemed to blanket the wizarding world when a flash of red caught James's eye.

"Oh for the love of…" he moaned, glancing up and confirming it was Lily Evans standing in the compartment doorway.

"Don't even start, Potter," snapped Lily, quite red in the face from pulling her trunk up and down the train. "I was just wondering if you've seen Bella and Emmeline anywhere."

All four boys jerked their heads toward the front of the train, remembering they'd past the two girls' compartment.

Lily nodded at the Marauders and with an exasperated sigh she reached for her trunk.

"You could just leave that in here," offered Remus, noticing her struggle.

"And have you four prank my things?" demanded Lily. "No thank you."

"Suit yourself," said Remus, returning to his bag of Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans.

Lily heaved a sigh and turned back to her trunk. She noticed two pairs of feet behind and heard a biting voice say, "Well, if it isn't the Mudblood. We should have known you'd be here with the halfbloods and blood traitors."

She stiffened and slowly looked up into the smirking faces of Bellatrix Black and another second-year Slytherin, Demelza Wilkes. "Get out," Lily said coldly.

"Seen the _Prophet_, Mudblood?" asked Demelza, sneering at Lily. "People like you are going to be killed off. You may as well go back to your filthy parents than try to make it inour world."

"Excuse us," said four voices and Lily noticed the Marauders had surrounded her.

"Did they insult us awhile back?" asked Remus thoughtfully.

"I believe they did, Remus," said Peter coolly.

"Funny," said Sirius, pretending to think, "because there seems to be five of us and only two of them."

"If you two ladies will…excuse me,you two aren't ladies," said James menacingly. "Well then, if you two _Slytherins_ will kindly excuse us."

James and Sirius stepped forward, grasping Demelza's arms. She cursed and struggled against them. They shoved her none too gently into the neighboring compartment.

They returned for Bellatrix, but the girl backed away from them. "Don't touch me, you filth! I'll show myself out." With that, she disappeared through the compartment door.

Lily stood stunned, but strangely relieved. Shaking her head, she reached for her trunk again.

"I do know a spell to make that trunk feather-light you know, Evans," James offered generously. "Are you sure you want to drag that thing around more?"

"Fine, Potter," said Lily flatly. "I could use the help."

Grinning wickedly at his friends, but making sure Lily didn't see, James raised his wand.

Lily saw the smirk at the last and shouted, "No, don't…"

Too late. Her trunk was now sopping wet and had some sort of strange fungus sprouting out of it.

"Well, it does tend to have that side effect," said James wickedly.

"Oh!" shrieked Lily angrily. "Why was I stupid enough to let you do that?" She strode over and slapped James across the face.

"OW!" shouted James, his ears ringing and his glasses askew. "You didn't hit me last year!"

"Consider it a new method of dealing with you," spat Lily, her voice dripping with venom.

She dragged her wet trunk out of the compartment and started toward the front of the train.

"Do you mind if I…?" asked James, holding his wand up.

His three friends nodded and James muttered an incantation.

"POTTER!" A downpour of water had suddenly drenched Lily from head to toe. Leaving her trunk behind, she raced back to the Marauders' compartment to find that they had closed and locked the door. Raising her wand, she shouted, "_Alohomora_!"

Lily tried the door, but it was still locked.

They must have used a more complicated spell, thought Lily furiously.

She banged on the door until her arms ached. Giving up, Lily did a drying spell on herself and, boiling mad, grabbed her trunk and went in search of Emmeline and Bella.

* * *

See why the beginning can't be funny? Anyway I don't have time to give this a final proofread, so if I made any terrible errors please tell me! Early Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night! **E.D.J. **  



	24. Disillusionment Charms Aren't Always Eff...

**Disclaimer- **Deck the halls with boughs of holly... falalalalalalalala... 'tis the season for me to receive all rights to Harry Potter and also the ability to write like J.K. Rowling... falalalalalalalala...I don't think thatgiftcan begiven...falalalalalalalala... so I will keep on singing... falalalalalalalala!

**Authoress's Note**- I am just the most lovely singer in all of Fanfictiondom, aren't I? -blushes- I know I told all you Summer with the Arrogant Prat readers I probably wouldn't update before anything before Christmas, but I finished this chapter with all lovely relaxing vacation time AND I have access to a computer in this lovely warm weather! (No I won't tell you where I'm vacationing, but I will say it is NOT Alaska OR the Artic or Canada for that matter.) Anyone consider this my early Christmas present to all of you! Like Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince! July 16, 2005! -screams- **E.D.J.**

**Thanks for the merry merry reviews!**

**ThelovelyladyLily**- Thanks for the help with errors last chapter. I still have to go back and edit it! Yes shame shame. Glad you liked the slapstick humor!

**Tri**- Thank you, I'm glad you forgive me! Glad you liked the chapter!

**Constructive Criticism**- Yes, yes predictable, but oh well ;-).

**Romulan Empress- **Oh it's alright about not reviewing the last chapter. I don't always review all updates of stories I read either. Yes I was a bit iffy about the flashiness of the beginning of the "Reign of Terror" as you so eloquently put it, but in my first idea for it there was about sixteen people who died, so I drastically cut that in half, but I'm still iffy. I can see both sides of Voldemort's probable perspective. I can see him wanting to start off with a bang to you know show them who's boss AND I can see him wanting to lay low and keep the attacks small. I just don't know! I consider the last chapter a midpoint between those two extremes I guess.

**I luv this!**- Ah yes, I was wondering if anyone would catch Sirius's too early running away bit. In my opinion, he left, but didn't technically 'run away' because even Voldemort hadn't attacked,he would have gone home eventually. He was justangry and upset and needed to get away for a bit. SinceVoldie did attack, Sirius was probably only away from home for a week or two at most.

**DarkKestralSilkeQueen**- VERY original name if I do say myself. Does it mean anything or have to do with something specific? Ah yes, I know what exactly what your talkingabout Holly and Artemis Fowl. I've read all three books, very good. But no, I don't really remember if Holly James's house-elf came fromHollyShortor not. -shrugs- My guess would be no. I'm glad you think the story rocks! Remus is my favorite Marauder and I promise you he will get a girlfriend since I can't bear to see him lonely! -sighs- I only wish it could be me. By the way, in my other Marauders fic, Summer with the Arrogant Prat, Remus is right on the brink of getting to that girlfriend/boyfriend point , so if you can't wait I'd recommended that! Pushing my other fic? NEVER! -grins- Oh and when do they find out if he's a werewolf? I still have to do some Prisoner of Azkaban referencing, but most likely near the very end of second year. From what I recall, it took them three years to perfect the Animagus spell/potion whatever it is that makes you an Animagus and they finished it fifth year, so third, fourth, and fifth year to getthe Animagus stuff right and they need some time to think of an idea to help Remus, so yes end of second year if possible.

* * *

**Ch. 24- Disillusionment Charms Aren't Always Effective**

Emmeline Vance and Bella Meadows were sitting in their train compartment discussing their summer holidays and, of course, You-Know-Who when they heard the splash of water and then, a distinct shriek.

"Lily?" asked Emmeline.

"Mostly likely," said Bella nonchalantly. "Merlin, I can't believe she actually fell for one of their pranks. That's a first."

"I suppose there's a first for everything," said a grim voice and the two girls spun around to see Lily standing in the doorway.

"Lovely trunk," observed Bella, noting the green fungus that covered nearly ever inch of Lily's trunk. "It really matches your eyes."

"Oh shove it, Bella," muttered Lily, looking around for something to throw at her. Sadly, she found nothing worthwhile. Slumping into a seat, Lily noticed what looked like a large wooden club leaning against a trunk. "What's that?" she asked, pointing at the thing. "Are we expected to fight trolls or something this year?" (**A/N- Yes, ha ha. Lovely Sorcerer's Stone-esque humor.)**

"Ha, ha," said Bella, tight-lipped. "It's a Beater's bat. Dorcas reckons I have a chance at making the House team. She was a Chaser back in her day, really talented. She was debating between her job working for the Wizengamot or a position on the Pride of Portree Quidditch team."

"You play Quidditch?" asked Emmeline incredulously. "I mean, we only went to one of the inter-House matches last year. I thought you weren't taken with it much."

"Well watching a school match is alright," Bella said with a shrug. "And watching a professional match is always brilliant, especially games between old rivals like the Appleby Arrows and Wimbourne Wasps." Bella let out a low whistle. "That's some Quidditch that is, but actually playing the game is… indescribable."

"Am I supposed to know what you two are on about?" asked Lily irritably.

"Quidditch!" said Emmeline, throwing up her hands as if she'd never heard a more stupid question in her life.

"Oh that's that sport on broomsticks, innit?" said Lily with a yawn. "Wait, we have House teams for that sort of thing? And there were matches? Why didn't we go?"

"Well, I didn't really care for the first school match one way or another and Em spent the entire game complaining about the cold," said Bella. "We asked you if you wanted to come to that game, but you only said, 'Quidditch? Are you trying to be funny, Bella? Bugger off, so I can finish this History of Magic essay. I still have another foot and a half to go.'"

"Very nice impression of Lily's 'homework' voice there," said Emmeline with a grin.

"Let's go to a game this year!" said Lily excitedly. "Er… what do the players do in Quidditch?"

"One moment, Lils," said Bella, rummaging in her trunk. "Ah, here we are." She handed Lily a slightly worn copy of _Quidditch Through the Ages_ by Kennilworthy Whisp.

Lily quickly became engrossed in the book and Emmeline and Bella quietly did the counterjinx to fix her trunk, so as no to disturb Lily who tended to get in a very foul mood when her reading was interrupted.

Suddenly, Lily looked up from the book and shrieked at Bella: "You mean to tell me, you're going to be hitting heavy metal balls at other people?!"

"Well erm… heavy iron balls to be exact, Lils," said Bella innocently. "They're called Bludgers."

"Blimey, always knew this world was crazy," muttered Lily, returning to _Quidditch Through the Ages_.

* * *

"Thanks for the sweets!" said the Marauders cheerfully, handing the woman with the trolley a handful of gold each. 

"Anything for such handsome boys!" said the witch cheekily before pushing the trolley down to the next compartment, whistling the Singing Sorceress's, Celestina Warbeck, new song "Bewitched Heart". It was all the rage on the WWN or the Wizarding Wireless Network to be exact.

"Got your broomstick, Jamesie?" asked Sirius, popping a whole Pumpkin Pasty into his mouth at once. "Mum anf Daf wouwdn'n buy me anoof wo' becwuze I swuk oft affer wat wo' dinfer wis summa."

His three friends stared at him blankly.

"Repeat please?" said Remus tiredly.

Sirius swallowed. "Mum and Dad wouldn't buy me a new one because I snuck off after that one dinner this summer. 'Said it was punishment for worrying them." He snorted. "They just didn't want to spend money on the 'disappointment' when Dad could be using it to add some more obscene security devices to the house." Sirius sighed and pretended to look teary-eyed. "Number Twelve Grimmauld Place, home sweet home, full of the Dark Arts and severed house elf heads."

"Severd house elf heads?" said Peter, ashen faced, grimacing slightly, and setting down the Chocolate Frog he had been about to eat.

"Dear Aunt Elladora to thank," said Sirius grimly. "Reckoned they'd feel it was an 'honor' to be displayed on a wall after they died. Our elf, Kreacher, certainly dreams of such greatness." (**A/N- He says 'Dear Aunt Elladora' in Order of the Phoenix, I swear! I'm not just trying to insert myself in the story at all! And NO… my name is not from her, I say it's from Elladora Ketteridge, the discoverer of gillyweed. Just had to clear that up. I would _never_ start the practice of displaying poor dead elves' heads on walls. Well, maybe. –grins-)**

"Now that we're all sickened out of eating any more sweets," said James loudly and Sirius promptly grinned and stopped his whispering to Peter about the enchanted severed hand that lived in his mum's closet. Peter's face had been getting steadily paler as Sirius had continued talking.

"Hey, how's your mum, Remmy?" asked Sirius suddenly. "You certainly went to see her a lot last term."

"Oh erm… she's a bit better," said Remus, shifting uncomfortably. "I mean, the Healers still aren't letting her leave St. Mungo's, but…"

"But didn't she and your dad come get you from the train in June?" asked James, thinking had. "She had short brown hair and was about medium height…"

"Oh no, that was mum's sister, Aunt…" Remus glanced around the room, helplessly, fixing on a package of Cauldron Cakes. "Cauldra, Aunt Cauldra."

"Cauldra?" repeated Sirius.

"Hey that's a real name!" said Remus defensively. "It's Scottish!"

James, Sirius, and Peter blinked at him.

"No need to get all squeaky, Rem," said Sirius. "I was only wondering if I heard it right."

"Er… right… sorry," said Remus, his ears red.

* * *

By the time they reached Hogwarts, the Marauders' appetites were roaring despite all the sweets and Sirius' tales of severed house elf heads. 

They clamored off the train and into one of the horseless carriages lined up next to the platform.

"Were these here last year?" asked James, squinting out the dirty window as the carriage began moving forward.

"I don't know, but I think I preferred the boats and I was nearly sick on those," said Remus, coughing and streams of dust stirred in the air. "This is extremely musty."

They were incredibly thankful when the carriage stopped and they stumbled out, breathing in deep gulps of clean air. Sirius even took the liberty of kissing the stone steps of the school repeatedly though no one really knew why and it earned him a great many odd looks from the other students exiting the carriages.

"Is that the only thing you can get to kiss you, Black?" asked Bella Meadows loudly as she, Lily Evans, and Emmeline Vance hurried up the steps of the castle.

"I'll have you know I know of a number of girls who would be more than willing to kiss me!" Sirius yelled indignantly after her and a large amount of the second year Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw girls' eyes brightened and they started toward him.

"I'm not asking at the moment!" said Sirius loudly and titters of disappointment filled the air. "Bloody girls."

Sirius glanced around and saw a large crowd of his girl classmates behind him, looking rather offended. "Er I…" Sirius stood up and ran furiously inside the castle and into the Great Hall. "Hide me!" he whispered as he sat down next to Remus. "Disillusionment Charm! Now!"

Remus sighed and muttered the charm. Moments later, a large crowd of young girls entered the Hall and began searching in corners, under tables, and behind the suits of armor before sitting down in defeat.

"Close one there, Sirius," muttered James out of the corner of his mouth. "What did you do?"

"Insulted them," Sirius whispered back.

"Well that's blatantly obvious," said Remus, exasperated. "But what did you say?"

"'Bloody girls.'"

"Who?" asked Peter, craning his head around.

"No, that's what I said. 'Bloody girls.'"

"Oh. No wonder they're upset."

"Excuse me, can I sit here?" asked a fifth year girl, pointing to the seat where Sirius was sitting. Obviously, the Disillusionment Charm had worked.

"No!" said Remus, James, Peter, and even Sirius accidentally who was supposed to be pretending not to exist.

"Why not?" asked the girl suspiciously. "I want to sit by my boyfriend, Howard."

She pointed at the gangly boy with the biggest conk the Marauders had ever seen who was sitting next to Sirius. He smiled and waved at the girl.

"Nice catch," Sirius muttered. "Giant conk though."

"What?" asked the girl.

"Oh nothing," said James nervously, kicking Sirius beneath the table. "Erm… you can't sit there because… it's where Remus's invisible friend… Roger is sitting!" James sighed dramatically and patted Remus's shoulder. "Remus here is very attached, can't seem to realize Roger's just a bit of air!"

Remus gaped at James. "That's not true!" James shot a look at him. "I mean, _Roger_ is there! He's blue and purple and kind of looks like a giant erm… billywig. Why can't you and Peter see him?! I'm telling you, he's there!"

The girl muttered something about "delusional, second years" and went to find another seat.

"My invisible friend Roger?!" hissed Remus.

"A giant blue and purple billywig?!" James hissed back.

"Hey! Chicken!" said Sirius gleefully, noticing the House tables had filled themselves with food.

Apparently, they'd missed the Sorting entirely.

Remus, James, and Peter watched as a drumstick was taken off of one of the platters, floated over to where Sirius was sitting, and gradually began to disappear into thin air. Everyone around them watched, horrified as the drumstick was gnawed down to a mere bone and a loud belch echoed throughout the Hall.

Remus muttered the incantation to undo the Disillusionment Charm and Sirius appeared in the chair next to him. He reached for a roll, clearly not noticing his fellow students' astonished faces.

"Lovely start of term prank, eh?" said James anxiously, nodding at Sirius who was now gulping down large quantities of pumpkin juice, unaware that he was no longer under the charm.

Echoes of "Oh…" and chuckles filled the air, along with vast sighs of relief that some invisible monster that liked to eat chicken wasn't prowling the castle. Well, you know, besides Sirius Black that is.

"No more Disillusionment Charms for you, mister," said Remus sternly. "They don't help anyhow and it makes the rest of us look like idiots."

Sirius merely shrugged and dug into his heap of mashed potatoes, not taking a word of it in and not noticing the glares he was getting from girls everywhere around the Great Hall.

* * *

Gotta love Sirius, don't ya? -huggles Sirius- Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! -kisses- **E.D.J. **


	25. Suspicions Continue to Grow

**Disclaimer- **Wow I've made it to chapter twenty-five! –confetti- And, of course, I still don't own Harry Potter. Characters I have created, but have given all rights to J.K. Rowling because they just wouldn't be the same without the world of Harry Potter (the only exception being I claim Professor Azalea Wolcosh's name because it's the name of my main character in my book I'm writing though I assure you MY Azalea is nothing like Professor Wolcosh) are: Evan Arrindell, Jacqueline Brevard, Myles Konen, Isabella Meadows, Isolda Norcross, Montgomery Spatterwood, Azalea Wolcosh, Nicola Landon, Mr. Dervish and Mr. Banges (owners of Dervish and Banges), Deidra Lennox, Faye Edstrom, Aunt Eulalia, Julia Underwood, Elaine Warwick, Jon Marshalls, Cecilia Waters, Gabrielle Ericksson, Peregrine Oldham, Aileen Worthing, Maude, Fiona, Holly the house-elf, Liam Vance, Charles Burton, Myra Aisley, "Aunt Cauldra", and Remus's invisible friend Roger! Yay! I disclaim them all!

**Authoress's Note**- Wow it's been a while, hasn't it? -blushes- Well I feverishly worked on this chapter Saturday night, but just my luck, it wouldn't upload for me! Now I've finally gotten around to putting it up! I am extremely proud of this chapter because I worked hard to get the mood right. I'm warning you before hand, this chapter is DARK. And I don't mean like chapter twenty-three's Voldemort's first attack bit dark, I mean drama, angst, whatever you want to call it dark. I ease you into it with a little ever present Marauder humor, but I really wanted to do this chapter well and, once you start reading, you'll realize why this chapter has such a dark mood. As I said, I'm very proud of this chapter and I hope you all like it. **E.D.J.**

**Thank you's!**

**I-Confuse-Everyone**- Glad you liked the chapter!

**DarkKestrelArwenSilkeQueen- **Ah yes, I got the inspiration for the enchanted severed hand in Sirius's Mum's closet from the Hand of Glory in Chamber of Secrets, but I don't believe it's quite the same thing. It's more just some severed limb that's got a charm placed on it, so it scuttles around. Like in the Adams's Family!

**ThelovelyladyLily**- Yes I enjoyed Remus's invisible friend Roger too. He's quite nice actually. Very polite. -grins-

**Romulan Empress- **Making people burst into to hysterical laughter with their parents around is what I'm here for. ;-)

**magiclover53**- Wow, I can't believe you read this all in one sitting! It's getting so long! You're dedicated! Thanks! Yes Sirius is the ever dreamy dolt as well!

**PureWhiteLilly**- Yes, sadly, Sirius WOULD forget he hada charm on him, wouldn't he? -shakes head- Sucha simple bloke, innit he? Gotta love him to pieces.

**Black Emerald Dawn**- I'm glad you liked the chapter!

**Serena van der Woodsen**- I'm so glad you started reading! Darn, I've got you feeling sorry for Peter. Oh well, he's got to have some 'redeeming qualities' to make him a Marauder in the first place. -sighs- AhHestia Jones islater a member of the Order ofthe Phoenix andI believe she waspart of the group thatcame to take Harryto Number Twelve Grimmauld Place inOrder of the Phoenix as well. YesEm isgreatand quite admirable as well that she can hurtBella andthink about Remus at the same time! Tee hee! I love Emmeline, she'sjust wonderful. Particularly in mySummerwith the Arrogant Prat fic. -nudges- Read that too! Such a nag, aren't I? I'm glad you love how I write Sirius too! He's always incredibly fun to write.

* * *

**Ch. 25- Suspicions Continue to Grow**

"Merlin, it's good to be back!" sighed Sirius, throwing himself onto his old bed. "No more evil Mum, no more evil Dad, no more bratty brother, no more effing house elf-"

"Sirius, we get the picture," murmured Remus tiredly, chucking a pillow Sirius's way. "Can you shut your mouth for just once?"

Sirius paused and looked thoughtfully before slowly saying, "No, Remmy, I don't believe I can." He then burst out singing Celestina Warbeck's hit 'Bewitched Heart' at the top of his lungs.

James threw a pair of socks at Sirius who promptly threw them back. James ducked effectively. "Sirius, you could take over the world with a voice like yours."

"Why thank you, James."

"I mean, really. People would simply be running in terror. It would be chaos. They'd just beg for mercy."

"Stuff it, James," murmured Sirius. "Stuff it right up your-"

"Sirius, chocolate!" said Peter, waving a Chocolate Frog in front of his friend's face.

Sirius lunged for the Frog and devoured it in seconds, successfully distracted from killing James. "Anything else, Peter?"

Peter shook his head and Sirius went to pouting over the lack of sweets in the boys' dormitory. He really would have to stock up that hoard he usually kept under his bed. A few trips through the mirror on the fourth floor to the sweet shop, Honeyduke's, and he'd be sent for the next term.

"So how are we set for prank ideas?" whispered James, shooting a glance at Frank who was sleeping soundly in his bed.

The other three Marauders scurried over to James, so they could talk quietly without disturbing Frank.

"I have a number of ideas thought up," said Sirius, grinning wickedly.

"As do I," said Remus, a grin identical to Sirius's plastered across his face.

"Me too," said James, nodding.

They all looked expectantly at Peter who turned red and muttered that he was never able to think of good ideas, but thought all their ideas would be brilliant just the same. James, Sirius, and Remus nodded and looked quite smug.

"Alright, when?" muttered Sirius.

"Well, on the twenty-eighth I have to… go see my mother," supplied Remus, shifting a little uncomfortably.

"How do you know ahead of time when she's going to be deathly ill?" asked James suspiciously.

"I don't!" said Remus rather defensively. "It's er… my mum's birthday on the twenty-eighth and Dumbledore gave me permission to go see her then."

"But didn't you visit her for her birthday last April?" said Sirius, confusion etched across his face.

"No!" said Remus quickly. "That was her erm… half-birthday!"

"Oh," said Sirius quietly, not thoroughly convinced. He knew for a fact that someone whose birthday was in September would not have a half-birthday in April, but rather in March, six months after the person's actual birthday. But, he said nothing else, kept quiet as the four of them went to their own beds and drifted off to sleep. Sirius himself would not being the only wandering off into to fitful dreams.

* * *

_Remus knew where he was. He'd been here so many times before in his dreams the place almost didn't seem so frightening, so fearsome. Almost. _

_He stood in the midst of a tall, dark forest, surrounded by the knotted trunks of ancient trees, long past their prime. The sky was gloomy, almost as black as the forest though tiny pricks of light shone among the storm-grey clouds. As he watched, the clouds shifted, bathing the trees in pale, silvery moonlight. A full moon shimmered above the forest, colorless and lonely._

_Remus glanced down at his hands. Yes, as always, they were tiny. The hands of a mere child, barely older than six. His hands were scratched from scrambling through the trees, branches whipping at him as he ran. _

_His parents had warned him of the dangers that lurked in those ancient trees, banshees, centaurs, hinkypunks, creatures who didn't take kindly to many wizards who stumbled across them. It was even whispered that a werewolf or two had been heard howling among the trees every so often. People avoided the forest like the plague, only entering it armed with their wands and never alone or off the beaten path. _

_Remus had heard his parents' warnings andminded them, but on that particular afternoon, a friend's older, Hogwarts-age brothers had offered to take the two smaller boys to see the 'brilliant' cave they had discovered only a short distance off the path. The offer had been too tempting for the young boys to resist. They had never been allowed into the forest and they were sure the two older boys were capable of rescuing them if they did meet any trouble. They were, after all, already at Hogwarts learning how to practice magic. Clearly, the two younger boys had no idea that there was a_ Decree for the Restriction of Underage Wizardry _and that Remus's friend's brothers were no more capable of coming up against a dangerous creature than a pair of Flobberworms._

_Everything had gone fine for the first few hours. The boys had laughed and explored every niche of the small cave until they all came to the conclusion that they were bored. Remus had suggested going back home for some Quidditch, but the other three boys wanted to wander around the forest a bit more to see if they could discover any other interesting things. Remus reluctantly agreed and he had heeded the older boys' warnings to keep close to the cave until he had seen the frog, that _damn _frog, sitting on a boulder. _

_Curiously, he had slowly inched toward it and then lunged. He missed by a finger's width and the frog, surprised, had darted into the tall grass. Remus chased after it, lunging for it and having it wriggle through his fingers once again. He quite enjoyed the chase before, finally, out of breath, he had stopped and leaned against a tree. _

_Tentatively, he had glanced around. This place didn't look familiar. He spun around, trying to remember which way he had come. Panic rising up within him, Remus gave a shout. No answer. He shouted again. Still no answer. He had shouted again and again, but still no reassuring reply came. Feeling tears prickle his eyes, Remus had realized he was lost, lost in the dark forest his parents had warned him so feverishly about. Losing his head completely, he had ran through the trees in no apparent direction, hoping to find some trace of his friends or perhaps even the edge of the forest. _

_Remus had no such luck. It had even seemed as if the trees were getting thicker, not thinning out as they normally would when one nears the edge. And now, here he was, stuck in this godforsaken place, waiting to be consumed by his fear or by some other terrible creature. His stomach ached and Remus had long run out of tears. He prayed that someone would find him soon before something else did. Unfortunately, it was the something else that discovered him first. _

_Remus whirled around as a loud crack sounded behind him. He saw nothing but blackness, but, just the same, he backed away from the place where the sound had come from. Another crackling of underbrush came and Remus breathed deeply, willingly it to be a rabbit or a fox. He continued to move backward, farther and farther away from the source of the noise, but it kept advancing on him, maybe playing with him even. Perhaps it knew as he knew that these could be his last precious moments. Finally, Remus found himself with his back against a thick tree, too tired and too frightened to go on. The noises seemed to have stopped too and he breathed a sigh of relief. _

_It was too soon. A menacing grey shape emerged stealth-like from among the leaves and stopped, yellow eyes gleaming up at him. It was a wolf, but not like any wolf he had ever seen. It was a mass of shaggy grey fur and was easily twice the size of a normal wolf. Its sharp, yellowed teeth were a terrible inch and a half long and its claws were the same if not longer. _

_Remus stared at the werewolf, terrified. What he wouldn't give to be home, safe in bed instead of stranded outside in the dark with a werewolf nearly at his throat! The werewolf continued to look at him with its yellow eyes, slavering quietly, and all Remus could do was stare back at it, sweat dripping down the back of his neck. _

_After a few minutes, a low growl erupted from its throat and, with a howl, it lunged at him. Remus dodged and the werewolf hit the tree he had been up against with a yelp of pain. Quickly picking itself off the ground, it dove for him again and he yelled and darted into the trees as fast as his short legs could carry him. The werewolf gave chase, howling as it charged through the trees after him. _

_Remus continued to run and barely noticed as sharp branches slashed at his face and arms. He simply kept going, knowing what would await him if he stopped. After it felt as if he'd run a marathon or perhaps even two, Remus collapsed on the ground, gasping. Seconds later, he was still very much alive. Where was the werewolf? Why wasn't it killing him right about now? Had he actually outrun it? _

_Remus glanced around, and, to his shock, the trees looked noticeably thinner. He was the near the edge of the forest. With a whoop of glee, he scrambled to his feet. That whoop was all it needed. The werewolf barreled out of the dark and Remus screamed as its jaws enveloped his leg. He collapsed and stared, transfixed, at the dark blood that edged the werewolf's jaws and dripped down his skin. _

_He gave a whimper of pain and, for some odd reason, the werewolf's crushing jaws seemed to be loosening. Dazed, Remus watched the werewolf back away from him and collapse a few feet away from where he himself lay. The clouds had drifted across the moon, hiding its terrible light. When he glanced back at the werewolf, he saw it had changed to a shaggy, slightly humanoid shape huddled on the ground. The shape gave a cry of what must have been pain before Remus himself blacked out. _

* * *

Someone was shaking him. "REMUS! REMUS! FOR MERLIN'S SAKE, REMUS! WAKE UP! PLEASE WAKE UP!" pleaded a voice. 

"Wha…?" muttered Remus, opening his eyes.

Sirius was looming over him, his face stark white. "Merlin, Remus! Don't ever do that again! That was bloody scary that was!" gasped Sirius, releasing the grip he had on Remus's shoulders.

"What are you talking about?" asked Remus tentatively, suddenly realizing how cold and sick he felt from the dream.

"You mean you don't know?" said Sirius, wide-eyed. "Didn't you wonder why your sheets are so mangled? You were thrashing and moaning like no tomorrow, almost like you were trying to escape something."

"Yeah…" said Remus, shifting uncomfortably.

"And you were…" Sirius faltered. "I don't know, howling or something. That's what woke me up. I'm surprised these two didn't wake up it was so loud." He motioned at James and Peter's sleeping forms.

"Yeah, er… sorry about that," said Remus sheepishly. "Nightmare."

"It must have been something bloody scary!" said Sirius, raising an eyebrow. "What exactly were you dreaming about?"

"Oh well, I don't really remember," lied Remus.

"Are you sure?" asked Sirius.

"Yes, Sirius! Of course I'm sure! Why wouldn't I be? It _was_ my dream after all! Now sod off so I can go back to sleep!" snapped Remus, his voice having a lot more bite than he'd meant it to.

"Bite my head off why don't you," murmured Sirius, standing up. "I was only trying to help."

"Well I don't need your help!" snarled Remus. "I am fully capable of handling my problems without you! I've had them longer than you know and I know enough to deal with them myself!"

"Fine! Keep your secrets! I don't care!" hissed Sirius, his hands bunched into fists by now. "Good night."

Remus immediately yanked the curtains around his four-poster bed shut, fuming, but not over what Sirius had said. Sirius had ever right to be suspicious when he was friends with a… a… Remus couldn't bring himself to think of an appropriate word for what he was. A werewolf? A liar? No, he was a monster and he didn't deserve to have friends like Sirius who he could one day end up attacking. James, Sirius, and Peter could never know what he was. They would surely abandon him, leave him alone, an outcast, werewolf, freak. That was what he would always be at home ever since he'd been found lying in a pool of his own blood at the forest edge with the telltale bite around his leg. He still had the faint white scar, the mark that gave him away for what he was. His former friends had been warned to stay away from him and it had been a surprise to everyone, especially to Remus, that he had even been accepted to Hogwarts. The neighbors had muttered darkly over whether to send their own children to the school when a werewolf would be attending, a few had even done it, choosing to educate their children at home. Didn't they realize it wasn't something he had done on purpose? He hadn't wanted to be bitten, he hadn't wanted to be stared at and whispered about. Remus had made a mistake and now it would haunt him, curse him, for the rest of his days.

* * *

So... that was a bit of a different mood for Seven Years of Marauding, wasn't it? I do believe I was shaking when I finishedtyping. A more in-depth look at Remus, wouldn't you say so? -huggles Remus because of what he's gone through- I'm sorry it's a bit short, but I didn't want to go into a bunch of humor after all that. It's key to the other three Marauders discovering Remus is a werewolf. I promise the humor will be back in the next chapter! Please tell me what you think! **E.D.J.**


	26. First Days Are Always Hard

**Disclaimer**- If you recognise it, it's not mine. Comprende?

**Authoress's Note**- Hee hee this was a fun chapter to write. I'm stuck in my room with my dad's laptop listening to country music while my parents party with their friends downstairs. The joys of my Saturday nights, eh? Ah, oh well! At least you all get another chapter, right? **E.D.J.**

**Thanks for the wonderful reviews! If only they were worth money then they'd be the best thing ever!**

**ThelovelyladyLily**- Yay, I'm glad you liked the description of Remus's werewolf attack. I thought it was necessary to keep up the drama. Yes, "Bite my head off, why don't you" was an awesome oblivious line by Sirius!

**Black Emerald Dawn**- Yes poor, poor Remus. -huggles Remus-

**Harry Lvr**- I'm glad you liked Summer with the Arrogant Prat on MuggleNet and felt compelled to read more on here! Unfortunately, I took it off of MuggleNet because it was just too hard trying to update on two different sites and because they wouldn't validate Chapter Eight unless I rewrote it or something and I don't feel like that there's anything wrong with it! They said it had some punctation errors as well, but I read over it and resubmitted it and they rejected it again! -sighs- I did leave a note to all the readers over there to come read Summer on Fanfiction if they want. Yes, my book! -grins evilly- I tentatively say it's about halfway done, but I'm not sure. I have about 26-27,000 words saved onmy computer at the moment.

**DarkKestrelArwenSilkeQueen**- Yes,poorRemus! -huggles Remus again- And Remus IS happy at least happier than he was at home where everyone knows he's a werewolf. He has FRIENDS now!

**Clara**- Wow! You check to see if I update every day?! You're dedicated! Thanks a bunch! And no, I don't plan on quitting anytime soon, so don't worrying too much!

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**Ch. 26- First Days Are Always Hard **

The next morning, Sirius woke up early, a first for him, and dressed silently before making his way down to the empty common room. He settled himself down in one of the scarlet armchairs and stared moodily into the fire.

What was Remus hiding? he wondered. Remus's denials, excuses, and assurances that he was fine, life was fine, etc... didn't reassure Sirius like they seemed to for James and Peter.

Sirius wasn't stupid; in fact, he was what some might consider brilliant. All his professors knew it, and they told him so when he had received his first year's marks over the summer, but, apparently, he wasn't 'living up to his full potential.'

You skive off lessons once or twice a month and suddenly you're not living up to your full potential! It wasn't as if James wasn't with him on every one of those occasions, but did he ever get called on it? No! And Remus! He was missing all the time and all the professors would do was sigh and murmur, "Oh dear. Mr. Lupin's absent again. I'm sure he'll have a perfectly legitimate excuse when he returns. Such a responsible boy, Remus Lupin..." while glaring daggers at Sirius.

Sirius snorted. Remus? Responsible? As if Remus hadn't poked around off-limits areas of Hogwarts, set off Dungbombs in the corridors, and flitted easily through the secret passageway on the fourth floor to Hogsmeade and back just like the rest of them.

Blatant favoritism was what it was. James and Remus were the teacher's pets, the son of the Minister of Magic's best friends and... well Sirius had never quite put his finger on what was so special about Remus, but he would find out and soon. If Remus wasn't hiding some secret, Sirius would eat his hat. Maybe he'd even eat the Sorting Hat too, and he was sure that old dusty fabric would not taste too good going down his gullet.

* * *

Sirius was dozing in front of the fire when his friends trooped begrudgingly down the stairs, eager for breakfast, but not eager for the start of lessons that day.

"Sirius, wake up!" James bellowed into his friend's ear.

Sirius gave a start and looked up blearily. "Is it time for the Christmas holidays yet?" he murmured sleepily, stretching his arms above his head.

"Not quite," said Peter with a grin. "But, we're going down to breakfast and then to boring lessons all day if you care to join us."

"Nah, I'm okay," muttered Sirius, shutting his eyes again and letting out a loud fake snore.

James shot an evil glance at Peter and Remus, who was trying not to laugh at Sirius's jokes because he was still slightly angry with him, and raised his wand.

Sirius slowly floated up into the air above their heads and the three boys slowly edged out of the portrait hole with James being careful to knock Sirius's head against the wall, causing him to shout out groggily, "You yellow bastards! I'll bite your legs off!" (**A/N- Borrowed that from Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Nope I didn't create that either though I do own a copy of the DVD.)**

Apparently, the poor boy had actually fallen asleep in his attempt to fake sleep. With a nice lump on the back of his headto wake him up, Sirius opened his eyes, gave a yell, and bellowed, "Dammit, James! Put me down!"

"But we thought you wanted breakfast," said James innocently, levitating Sirius a bit higher.

"Do you plan on levitating it up to me as well?" asked Sirius with a slight yawn.

"Haven't really thought that through yet," said James briskly.

"Lovely." Sirius decided to enjoy the gasps and stares from his fellow classmates while they lasted. He waved and made face until, suddenly; he dropped from the air with a sharp and painful jolt. "What the..." he murmured before catching sight of the shock of red hair in front of his friends.

"No magic is allowed in the corridors!" snapped Lily, her face furious as she lowered her wand after muttering the counter to the levitation charm James had been using.

"Did McGonagall suddenly elect second-year prefects?" said Remus wryly. "Why wasn't I asked?"

"No," said Lily, her face slightly red. "I just thought it would be nice if we could all act mature for once. Magic _isn't_ allowed outside the classroom."

"And?" asked Sirius from where he sat on the floor, wincing as he touched the large bruise that was appearing below his knee.

Lily faltered. "What more is there, Black? It's a rule; you're breaking it. It's that simple."

"And you've appointed yourself our keeper and you're going to make sure we're good little boys from now on?" asked James incredulously. "Damn, Evans. You'll have your work cut out for you. I'd suggest you resign before you even get started. You've got about as much control and authority over us as Peter here. No offense," he murmured, nodding at Peter.

"None taken."

Lily gaped at the four boys, dumbstruck. What had she gotten herself into? Why did she care so much about what the Marauders did? She should've just kept her head down and been glad whatever non-regulation magic they were performing didn't involve her. And now she'd practically told them she was planning on watching their every move for the next six years? Brilliant, Lily. Abso-bloody-lutely brilliant.

"Any other comments before we head off to breakfast?" asked James, as Lily hadn't said anything for a full two minutes.

"Just keep out of my sight, alright?" she hissed before whirling around and striding into the Great Hall.

"Did she prove something there?" asked Remus.

"Shh," hissed Peter. "She'll come back and yell at us again."

"Too true," said Sirius with a grin, cuffing Peter in the back of the head.

* * *

After all the students had shoveled down platefuls of good Hogwarts breakfast, house-elf cooked, of course, and received their lesson schedules, all the Gryffindor second-years headed off to Transfiguration with the Ravenclaws. It was bad enough that they had to take Transfiguration at all, but having to have it on their first day back at Hogwarts was almost unbearable.

"Why, cruel fate? Why must you put us through this?" moaned Sirius as he threw himself into a desk next to James near the back of the Transfiguration classroom. He banged his head against the desk for emphasis.

"Mr. Black, I sincerely doubt fate has anything to do with it," said Professor McGonagall dryly, sweeping a slightly irritated glance across the room, silently noting that every student was present and accounted for. "If you must blame something or I suppose someone, I'd choose the school founders for creating the class of Transfiguration in the first place and putting me through such a task as trying as having you as a student."

The entire class instantly stopped chattering about their summers and spun around to gape at her.

"Professor, did you just make a _joke_?" asked Myles Konen, a tall Ravenclaw with curly blonde hair.

"Perhaps I did," she said, a slight smile twitching the corners of her lips. "Now, class," she said, switching back to her usual sharp tone and clapping her hands. "Year two of your study of Transfiguration has officially begun. I would first like to give you a test-" Everyone groaned and she shot them a withering look. "-on what you learned last year." She took a stack of papers off her desk and handed them out. "Please take out your quills and begin."

More groans. Professor McGonagall sighed. This was going to be a long year.

* * *

"Students, students! Class has begun!" barked Professor Dearborn, looking his usual eccentric self in black and scarlet robes that were almost exact replicas of the same ones worn by the Ballycastle Bats. He'd been to a Bats' lovers' convention over the holidays and thought the robes were worth every one of the four hundred and twenty-seven Galleons he'd paid for them. Sure that was a lot of gold, but they were almost exact replicas of Bats' Quidditch robes for Merlin's sake! What would anyone else have done in his position?

"Those Bats' robes look absolutely smashing, Professor," said James, shooting a knowing glance at his friends. "They could practically pass for the real thing!"

"Do you really think so?" asked Professor Dearborn, turning red with pride. He then launched into a long-winded retelling of his doings and purchases at his Bats' convention, leaving the class free to ignore him and talk amongst themselves once more.

Only Lily was listening intently to everything their crazed Defense Against the Dark Arts professor was saying and scribbling furiously.

"You aren't taking _notes_?" asked Emmeline, horrified as she glanced at the sheet of parchment in front of Lily.

"-And then at two o'clock I met with a man named Edward about buying some of his memorabilia-"

"Yes," replied Lily, still writing and already starting on her second sheet of parchment.

"-Granted, that fell through completely, the fat money-grubber. Actually, he wasn't really fat. Well maybe a bit on the paunchy side, but-"

Emmeline stared at her. "But you don't expect we'll have a test or something on what he did this summer, do you?"

"-And I even met _Owen Reynolds_, the worst Keeper the Bats have ever had! Let in six hundred thirty-two goals in one game he did-"

Lily stopped writing for a moment and gave Emmeline a patient look. "Em, Professor Dearborn is completely and utterly mad. Why _wouldn't_ he give us a test on anything and everything Bats-related? He did last year."

"-My best mate, George Youngbury, went with me. Splendid fellow, George. Bought me my first Bats' limited edition Lawrence Adsworth Chaser model he did-"

"And nearly cried when Frank Longbottom didn't know which Bats' Beater never washed his robes," added Bella, leaning over to join the conversation.

"-A twenty foot model of Barny the Fruitbat! Can you believe it? That's as close to heaven as you get except maybe when you eat an exceptionally tasty Levitating Sherbet Ball-"

Just then, the bell rang, and Professor Dearborn whirled around to stare at the clock. "Merlin, how time flies! No homework for next class!"

* * *

The four Marauders wolfed down lunch, and Remus and Sirius even managed a few civil words. After they'd finished, they all glanced at their schedules and whimpered. Another thing no one ever wanted, especially on the first day of term, is double Potions with the Slytherins, which was exactly what the second-year Gryffindors had next.

Sirius began to launch into his "Oh, cruel fate" routine as they made their way down the ancient stone steps to the dungeons before being silenced by a look from James. He glanced around James and saw Evans and company standing outside the classroom. Sirius glanced at Peter's watch. Right now was the perfect time to test Evans's new 'I'll cram the rules down your throat or worse' façade she'd come up with.

He grinned knowingly at his friends and innocently stepped in the path of the late first-year girl hurrying up the dungeon steps. She collided with him, sending them both sprawling.

"Hey! Watch it!" snapped Sirius, standing up and brushing off his robes.

"You stepped in my way!" pointed out the tiny, dark-haired girl, shifting uncomfortably from foot to foot, knowing she was going to be latefor her very first Charms class.

"Excuse me?" asked Sirius incredulously, brandishing his wand. "I'm not going to take any cheek from a little _first-year_!" He murmured a jinx and a cloud of amber sparks erupted from the end of his wand.

"No!" To his amusement and glee, Lily scrambled forward and pushed the girl out of the way, the sparks hitting her instead. She didn't even glance at herself to see what Sirius had done to her, but turned to the girl and barked, "Go! Get out of here before you get yourself killed by this idiot!" The girl stared for a moment and then took off up the stairs like a scared rabbit.

"BLACK!" came two very angry voices and feet pounded up behind Lily. "WHAT DID YOU DO TO HER?" Emmeline and Bella spun her around, searching her for extra limbs or hideous spots. They found nothing.

"What did you do to her?" demanded Bella, advancing on Sirius who merely quirked an eyebrow at her and smirked.

Suddenly, Lily felt a sudden wave of dizziness roll over her, but, in an instant, it was gone and replaced with a strange tingling sensation inside her mouth. "Yeh!" she snapped. "Htuom ym htiw gnorw si gnihtemos!"

Everyone stared at her.

"What?" asked Emmeline.

"Htuom ym htiw gnorw si gnihtemos!" shouted Lily, pointing furiously at her mouth. "Em no xniJ hceepS drawkcaB a tup kcalB!"

"Huh?" asked Bella, squinting at her. "Are you feeling alright, Lily?"

"Toidi taht fo esuaceb gniyas m'I tahw aedi on evah uoy on!" she yelled, stomping her feet and pointing furiously at Sirius.

That seemed to get the point across.

"Black," said Bella slowly and dangerously. "Tell us what you did."

Sirius found this tone of Bella'svoice much more frightening than when she was shouting her head off at him. He ran a thumb along his wand and said, "I may have put a Backward Speech Jinx on her."

"YOU WHAT?"

"Madam Pomfrey should be able to fix her up in a second," he said with a slight yawn. "Unless she has some sort of odd reaction to the jinx than it could last a few weeks."

"A FEW WEEKS?"

Sirius nodded.

Bella opened her mouth to bellow a loud string of curses at him, but the bell rang, drowning her out.

"I could take her to the hospital wing if you want," suggested Sirius, nodding at Lily.

"Niaga em xnij ll'eh! On!" said Lily, looking horrified and shaking her head vigorously.

"No, I'll take her," said Emmeline, exasperated, grabbing Lily's arm to keep her from punching Sirius in the face. "Come on, Lils."

"Tig elbirroh uoy, uoy etah I!" shouted Lily, shaking her fist at him.

"Same to you too, love," said Sirius, smirking at her and following James, Peter, and Remus into the Potions classroom.

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Nice little humour chapter there, don't you think? Nice and light compared to the last chapter. Ah oblivious and mad Professor Dearborn just kills me! -laughs hysterically- Let's see those reviews! Rocket me up to a one hundred plus reviews fic! Please? -puppy dog eyes- **E.D.J.**


	27. Tricky Tryouts

**Disclaimer- **I will never own anything because J.K. Rowling deserves to own it all!

**Authoress's Note- **Hi all! How long has it been since I last updated? Ah well, apologies. I hope you all like this chapter, but, I will admit, it's a bit predictable. And NO, you don't need to tell me that you thought it was predictable as well because I know it well enough. **E.D.J.**

**Thanks for the reviews!**

**Black Emerald Dawn**- Go Sirius indeed.

**anniePADFOOT- **Ah well the point is when Sirius was going to jinx the first-year, he was acting because he wanted to annoy Lily. If some first-year had bumped into him in the hall when he actually was acting like himself, I'm sure he would have brushed it off as an accident.He's not that horrible! Also, Sirius is a second-year at the moment so Ididn't it would have been too smart of him to attempt to jinx a student older than him. Though he's brilliant, I'm sure Sirius would get his arse whooped. Also, the jinx really was relatively tame for Sirius; he didn't think it'd be right to make her grow tentacles or something when he wasn't even angry with her.

**ThelovelyladyLily- **Yay! Someone else who loves Monty Python! My friend and I are postively obsessed! "One day, all this will be yours! What, the curtains?" Lovely most lovely. I'm glad you liked Professor Dearborn's ramblings. It was probably the most fun part of the chapter to write, thinking of random Bats' obsessed things for him to say! I'm glad you liked the Backward Jinx as well! It was hard making sure everything was spelled correctly when it was backward though!

**DarkKestrelArwenSilkeQueen**- Aww Sirius didn't do anything THAT horrible, did he-huggles Sirius- Ah well, I don't believe much revenge will be gotten this time, but I'm sure there will be in the future!

**Harry Lvr- **Ah Sirius will work out that Remus is a werewolf all in good time. It will probably be around the spring or the end of their second-year.

**M.E.R Lupin- **Amazing and talented-looks smug- Thank you! I'm so glad you like my story! Laughing and crying separately and togetherare always good!

**Serena van der Woodsen**- Yes, I don't believe I've ever had apricot jam. Dried apricots are alright though. A health-nut mother doesn't sound very fun! Ugh Sirius/Remus slash-shields eyes- The horror! You know how much I love Remus, so I can't bear to read any of that-shivers- Yes, the characters tend to be a bit more 'verbal' than the typical eleven-year-old. -laughs- Oh Merlin, you think I write Dumbledore well? THANK YOU! Yes, Sirius and his attempts to charm McGonagall are always wonderful! Ha! Feel free to smack Sirius whenever you want! Ah, boys. It never ceases to amaze me how little is in those handsome heads. I have a keychain, which I really need to find, that reads: "So many boys, such little minds." Wonderful, yes?

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**Ch. 27- Tricky Tryouts**

The first week of lessons passed rather uneventfully and yes, thankfully, Madam Pomfrey had cured Lily of her speech impediment with no 'major' side effects. The minor however… Every once and a while, Lily would start spouting out backward words again, usually when she was answering a question from a teacher. Most embarrassing, but Madam Pomfrey assured her the jinx would run its course by the next week or so, and Bella made sure to kick Sirius hard in the shins every time Lily happened to start speaking backwards. And, of course, sometimes when Lily wasn't speaking backwards at all.

Now, thankfully, it was Saturday, and everyone was free to relax. Well, everyone except the members of the Gryffindor Quidditch team that is.

"Now, listen up," barked slight fifth-year Riona O'Callaghan, her voice accented by her strong Irish background. She stood stock-still and stared determinedly at the silent group of students in front of her. Riona paused to brush a strand of blonde hair behind her ear. "I know I may not look like much-" The group murmured incoherently under her piercing gaze, "-but, and I'm sure the rest of my teammates will agree so I don't sound too cocky, I'm the best damn Seeker out of any of the four Houses!"

The three students behind Riona, who, like herself, were clad in scarlet robes, hooted and cheered with approval.

Riona smiled slightly. "Now, I know I'm not as old as most team captains, but our previous captain Emmett Cates thought I was up for the job. As you all most likely know, we have three open spots on our Gryffindor Quidditch team: one Chaser, one Beater, and the Keeper position. But first, I'd like our three returning players to introduce themselves." She stepped back and nodded to the stocky boy on her right.

He stepped forward and cleared his throat, blinking at them with bright almost black eyes. "Hello all, I'm Caleb Addison, call me Addison, third-year, and our only Beater at the moment. I can't wait to discover who my player-bashing partner will be."

The crowd of nervous students laughed slightly as Caleb stepped back.

Next came the tan and taut girl to his left. "Aubrianna Callaway," she said shortly, running a hand through her dark brown hair. "Fifth-year. Chaser."

Lastly, the medium-height, reddish-brown haired boy, who kept shifting from foot to foot as if he couldn't stay on the ground much longer, stepped up. "Sacheverell Owens," he said brightly. (**A/N- sa-SHEV-ur-ul)** "Call me 'Shev' or even 'Shevy', but, for the love of Merlin, never call me 'Sacheverell'! My mum was a right loon to make that my name in the first place." He gave a slight bow and stepped back. (**A/N- Now I know he would actually be nicknamed 'Chev' pronounced as 'shev', but I think people are going to remember how to say the name better if I just write it 'Shev'. Thank you!)**

Riona coughed. "Oh and I'm a Chaser and a fourth-year," he added hastily.

Riona stepped forward again. "So, that's our team! Caleb, Aubri, do call her that, you're never going to get the Quaffle to her otherwise, Shev, and myself. Now that we're done with all the niceties, let's find out how many of you can _really_ play Quidditch."

* * *

Both James and Sirius and wished each other luck as the students were divided into groups depending on what position they were vying for. Those for Chaser went with Shev and Aubri, those for Beater with Caleb, and Riona took the remaining students who were eager to be Gryffindor's Keeper. 

On the other side of the line of students, Bella's hands were sweating profusely as she clutched her bat and made her way over to the small crowd that was amassing around Caleb Addison.

She gulped. They were all boys, every single one of them. They were looking at her curiously out of the corners of their eyes, probably wondering if she was in the wrong group. Worst of all, Addison was smiling encouragingly at her, but she could see the strain beginning to show on his face. Bella huffed. She would show them.

"Alright, you're all here for the open Beater position, correct?" said Addison loudly, staring pointedly at her.

She stared back grimly, her face determined and murmured 'yes' along with rest.

"Well good then," said the third-year, his eyes glinting. "Get your brooms ready and I'll be back in a moment with some spare bats."

After he had disappeared into the locker rooms, the six boys and Bella readied their broomsticks. Bella averted her eyes from the boys until, suddenly, she felt a tap on her shoulder and heard someone say bitingly, "Excuse me, _little girl_, are you sure this is where you're supposed to be?"

She turned to face the speaker and saw it was a gangly blonde third-year who she had instantly despised last year. She knew there was no way in hell that he was strong enough to hit Bludgers around. "Yes," Bella said shortly, turning away from him again.

"Do you really think you're going to have a chance against a bunch of _blokes_?" the boy asked.

"I don't know," she said sweetly. "Why don't I test my bat on your head and then we'll see who has a chance against who?"

The other boys laughed uproariously, and the blonde boy sulked and was about to make a nasty retort when Addison returned, his arms full of bats. "Who has their own bat?" he called.

Only Bella and a solid-looking, fourth-year boy raised their hands.

"Good, good," said Addison airily. "It's always better to have a bat that you've 'broken-in'."

"You mean one you've nailed a Bludger at someone with?" asked the fourth-year boy. "Well, my bat's had plenty of practice with that!"

Everyone laughed.

"Exactly," said Addison, shaking his head. "Our job as Beaters is to make sure someone leaves the pitch covered in bruises!"

Everyone cheered loudly.

"Let us win, but if we cannot win, let us break a few heads," Bella murmured quietly.

"What was that?" asked Addison incredulously, turning to stare at her. "You're a Falmouth Falcons' fan? What's your name?"

"Bella Meadows," she supplied. "Yes, I've been a fan since I was four."

"Excellent!" said Addison with a laugh. "Dorcas's sister! I was so upset as a first-year when I found out I'd never be able to play Quidditch with her."

All the boys gasped. The sister of _the _Dorcas Meadows, Gryffindor's almost legendary Chaser who'd given up spot on the Pride of Portree team for a job with the Wizengamot only years before? _Everyone_ had heard of or known Dorcas. That raised Bella up a few pegs in their books.

"Alright," said Addison sternly, rubbing his hands together in excitement. "The Beater tryouts have begun. I'll be getting the Bludgers out in a few moments. Since we can't risk any injuries, you'll be practicing your accuracy on this target." He motioned to a wooden target that was floating in thin air. Everyone wondered why they hadn't noticed it before. "Who'd like to go first?"

Bella timidly raised her hand.

"Alright, little Dorcas, mount up!" said Addison, kneeling down by the trunk he'd brought with him and fumbling with the bindings that held the two iron balls in place. "We're just used one Bludger for tryouts. Your only goal is to hit that target; it has a charm on it so the Bludger will be attracted to it, just like a real player. Ready?"

Bella nodded and her broomstick rose up in the air. She heard a shout and saw a black blur rocket up toward her. Within seconds, she realized that her position was wrong, so she sped a little to the right, letting the Bludger streak after her. Once in a reasonable position, and with the Bludger flying right for her face, Bella wound up and hit the Bludger with all her might. Instantly, the Bludger altered its course and streaked off toward the target, smashing through the center with a loud crack.

Bella beamed.

"Meadows, you're done for now!" called Addison. "Murphy, you're up next! Get up in the air while I go get that Bludger before it starts bombarding the Chasers…"

* * *

James shifted from foot to foot as he listened to Aubri go on about what characteristics Gryffindor was looking for in their third Chaser. 

"Teamwork is key to scoring goals," Aubri said loudly. "If any of you can't handle that, I'd suggest you leave."

No one moved.

Shev nodded approvingly. "Alright," he said brightly. "Let's get some Quaffles flying through the air." He gave the students a quick glance. "Excellent. There's six of you, so everyone divide up into threes."

James quickly was partnered with a towering sixth-year who introduced himself as Wyatt Neilson and a black-haired fourth-year girl named Lorelei Edwards who seemed more interested in staring at Shev than playing Quidditch.

"Alright, first off, we're just going to have you practice scoring," said Aubri, throwing a Quaffle at Wyatt, who staggered backward as he caught it. "You three are going to pass the Quaffle back and forth down the field and attempt to score. Riona-" She waved down the field at the small group assembled there, "-will be having her students playing Keeper for you. Shev and I will be flying above you monitoring your performance." She nodded at her teammate.

"Group one," Shev said with a grin. "You're up first. Neilson has the Quaffle. Up in the air with all of you."

Lorelei let out a slight sigh at beingsomewhat spoken toby Shev.

James, Wyatt, and Lorelei rose up in the air on their broomsticks. James noted Lorelei's incorrect grip on her broom's handle and Wyatt's unsteadiness. Clearly inexperience would be their undoing. He grinned and sped off down the field after Wyatt and Lorelei.

Wyatt still had the Quaffle under his arm, and James zoomed ahead so he could make a better pass. Unfortunately, Wyatt seemed to be oblivious to this, and he tossed the Quaffle at Lorelei, who quite clearly wasn't paying any attention to her to partners, but rather to one of the players swooping above their heads. The Quaffle smashed into her chest, and she let out a pained cry.

"Pay attention!" shouted Aubri impatiently from her position above Wyatt. "You'd better retrieve that Quaffle!" she snapped at Lorelei who quickly sped downward after the sinking Quaffle.

Once she had returned to an appropriate altitude, Lorelei, who didn't want to be embarrassed any further, quickly threw the Quaffle at James. He caught it with ease and sped off toward the goal hoops with Wyatt behind him and Lorelei grudgingly lagging behind. He noted, as he flew faster, that the Keeper, a white blonde third-year girl, was drifting toward the left. Within seconds, James had taken advantage of the opening on the right hoop, and the Quaffle soared through it with a loud clang.

"Good work, Potter!" shouted Shev. "Now, all three of you, back to the other end of the pitch and do it again!"

* * *

_Meanwhile, below the goal hoops…_

"Where's Black?" roared Riona.

"Right here," said Sirius impatiently from where he stood on her left. "Just like I've been for the past two times you've asked that question!"

"That lip of yours isn't making your chances any better!" snapped Riona, glaring at him. "Up in the air with you! You're next after Audrey let's this third goal in."

"How'd do you know she's going to-" began Sirius, but then, he craned his head up to watch James put a goal past the blonde girl. "Oh."

Riona stared pointedly at him.

"Yeah I know, up in the air!" he mumbled, kicking off the ground and passing Audrey who looked to nearly be in tears.

Whistling to himself, Sirius positioned himself in front of the goal hoops and waited for the second group of Chasers to zoom down the pitch. He was quite glad he didn't have to defend the hoops from James. Any other students trying out for Chaser would be a breeze for him.

And here they came! Faye Edstrom, a fifth-year boy, and a four-year girl. Faye? He thought incredulously. Isn't she worried about messing up her hair or something?

His questioned was answered when he saw Faye nearly fall off her broomstick in an attempt to wave at him. Great, Sirius thought sullenly. She has'other'reasons for trying out for the team.

With a sigh, he quickly blocked the fifth-year's shot on the middle hoop, sending the Quaffle streaking toward the opposite end of the pitch. The three hopeful Chasers zoomed after it, and the scene continued twice over with Sirius blocking every goal.

"Amateurs," he muttered as his broomstick descended. "That was too easy."

* * *

Nearly two hours later, everyone assembled on the edge of the pitch to hear what Addison, Shev, Riona, and Aubri had decided. They were all tired and sweaty and wished to get the whole thing over with so they could shower and go to bed. Everyone was whispering to each other over who they thought would and wouldn't make it; however, no one seemed to think that they themselves _wouldn't_ be the ones not to make it. 

Riona cleared her throat. "There have been some very tough decisions made, but Shev, Aubri, Addison, and Iare certain that we've picked the right three people to be our teammates. Shev, you're up."

Aubri poked Shev who seemed to be asleep on his feet. He gave a start. "Oh, ah, our new Chaser is…" He took a deep breath. "James Potter."

"Yes!" shouted James, pumping his fist in the air.

"Knew you'd make it, mate!" said Sirius proudly, slapping him on the back.

James shook hands enthusiastically with Riona and went over to stand by Shev and Aubri.

As soon as James and Sirius's shouting and the rejected students' sobbing and angry muttering had died down, Riona stepped forward again. "Next, I'd like to congratulate our new Keeper, Sirius Black."

She grinned as Sirius as well as James let out a loud whoop. "You keep that lip of yours under control or I may just change my mind!" said Riona sternly, but everyone could see that she wasn't serious.

Sirius shook hands with her and went over to stand by James who was still whooping incessantly over the fact that Sirius and himself were teammates.

"Can it, Potter," said Aubri, nudging him in the shoulder. "We're not done yet."

Addison stepped forward. "Now, I'll admit I had doubts at first about how capable our new Beater will be, but now, I'm happy to say that Bella Meadows is not only the sister of Dorcas Meadows, she's as talented as her as well!"

Bella gasped asAddison said her name. She spun around to grin smugly at the gangly blonde boy who'd insulted her earlier. "It just goes to show, I'm as capable as any bloke here!" she shouted and all the girls who had tried out cheered.

Bella shook hands with Riona and was being pounded on the back by Addison when she locked eyes with Sirius, who was standing next to James and looking horror-struck.

"Oh Merlin," they both groaned.

* * *

I thought that was an appropriate little ending, don't you-laughs- Can I just say how much I already love Shev? He's just cool and rather good-looking if I do say so myself! I hope you all liked Riona, Addison, Shev, and Aubri! I know Aubri seems a bit stand-offish, but she'll warm up. So... how 'bout some reviews? **E.D.J.**


	28. Midnight Merriment with the Marauders

** Disclaimer- **I disclaim it all as much as it is possible to disclaim it.

**Authoress's Note- **(wringes hands) I've been gone for a bit, haven't I? Apologies. I haven't felt compelled to write up a new chapter for a while, and I've been trying to make a creditable advance on my manuscript because it's in dire need of work as well. Anyway I hope you all enjoy this chapter; I had a bit of trouble with it, so it's a bit short but no worries I'll get out a nice long chapter sometime soon! **E.D.J.**

**(1)**- The 'wee bit o' celebration' is borrowed from Friends. Ross plays the bagpipes. Don't ask.

**Thanks for waiting so patiently, reviewers!**

**Black Emerald Dawn- **I'm glad you thought it was great despite the obviousness of the last chapter!

**ThelovelyladyLily- **One of your friends hasn't seen the Holy Grail? (gasp) You must get them to watch it! I'm glad you liked the Bella giving Sirius a nice kick in the shins bit. Heh heh. I'm glad you're glad that Bella made it! (eh tongue twister, ain't it?) And I'm glad you like Shev! Perhaps he will be Cedric Diggory-like. Maybe I'd better write him up a brave scene of him getting killed by Voldemort, eh? Nah, I don't think I'd be able to kill him off. Is it bad for me to say that I think he's got a lot of potential to be very dreamy? (laughs) Oh well...

**MeadowRunner- **Thank you so much for all the reviews! (cheers) Ah yes the ever contraversial James Seeker vs. Chaser. They DO say in the movie that James is Seeker. I establish that fact. But if you look on the Harry Potter Lexicon, it shows that J.K. Rowling has mentioned that James was a Chaser. Due to the fact that the movies tend to alter things (i.e. when Harry gets his Firebolt et cetera), I base my canon facts on things that are specifically in the book or something that Ms. Rowling says. This is what the Harry Potter Lexicon says,"Y _es, the editors are aware that on a summer's day when he was 15 he was fooling around with a Golden Snitch - much more effective to impress girls than a Quaffle, of course, and something that proves nothing about which position he actually played. JKR said in Sch2 that James was a Chaser, so until she explicitly says otherwise, her word goes._" Get my point? To me as well, her word goes. Ah I must confess that I too like Monica Longbottom better than Bella Meadows, but as this story was written first and Bella was created first, she'll be sticking around; I'll be working on improving her as she goes. I have no idea if Mon will make an appearance in this story seeing as in Summer with the Arrogant Prat her brother Frank is a year older than her and the Marauders and in this one, Frank is the same age as the Marauders. Though I do enjoy the idea of Neville having a cool aunt so perhaps she'll make an appearance as a sister younger or older than Frank and the Marauders. Hee I'm glad you enjoyed the fact that your name got into the story! I looked at your author's page and noted the correct pronunciation of Nicola in the file of interesting names I have saved on my computer. I had no idea it could be pronounced 'nick-uh-luh.' Very interesting. I'm glad you liked the Quidditch. I agree I don't know how anyone couldn't like Quidditch! Yep Tamora Pierce and Ms. Rowling have terribly wonderful action scenes!

**Harry Lvr- **I'm glad you like Shev! Nope I didn't even think of Tonks when I thought about Shev not liking his name! I just thought, "Sacheverell. That's an incredibly cool sounding name, but I would actually want to be named that?" Therefore the shortening to 'Shev'. I'm glad you liked the ending of the chapter!

**M.E.R Lupin- **Aw you wish you could write stories like me? Thank you! That's such a sweet compliment! I'm glad you liked James's whooping incessantly bit. Heh heh. Dancing on the ceiling? Sounds like fun...

**VixenMage- **I'm glad you like the story!

* * *

**Ch. 28- Midnight Merriment with the Marauders**

Lily was dozing in the common room over her half-finished Herbology essay when a pair of arms wrapped around her shoulders and someone screamed, "I _made _it!"

She looked up to see Bella beaming down at her. "Made what?" Lily asked sleepily, eyes drooping.

"Beater!" snapped Bella impatiently. "I made Beater!"

"That's nice," murmured Lily, curling into a ball on the sofa and shutting her eyes again. A moment later, her eyes flew open again. "Did you—did you just say you made Beater?"

"Yes!" said Bella, rather exasperated by this point.

"Bella, I'm so proud of you!" squawked Lily, throwing her arms around her friend.

"Well, you could have had a better reaction the first time I told you," Bella grumbled to herself, but she was unable to wipe the silly grin from her face.

"Who else made it?" asked Lily eagerly. "Anyone we know?"

"Well—" began Bella, but she was interrupted when the portrait hole was flung open.

Sirius Black with James Potter on his shoulders galloped inside, both bellowing something along the lines of: "We made it!" "Potter's a Chaser!" "Black's Keeper!" "Go Gryffindor!"

"Will you stop that infernal racket?" asked a rather annoyed seventh-year girl who was furiously studying in front of the fire.

Sirius abruptly stopped his mad dash around the common room; so abruptly, that James was flung forward over Sirius's shoulders and onto the common room floor where he laid laughing and gasping for air.

"Sirius, you bloody idiot, help me up!" wheezed James; clutching his sides as he imagined how terribly funny he must have looked catapulting through the air.

Suddenly, not Sirius, but a smirking cloud of red hair loomed over him. "_That's _what you're sharing a team with, Bella?" Lily said, her voice rather flat. "I pity you, I really do."

"I got a place on the team; that's all that matters to me," Bella mumbled, staring at her feet to avoid Lily's steely gaze.

Realizing Sirius was in no mood to help him, James scrambled to his feet. "Not that this isn't the most interesting conversation I've ever had the joy of hearing, but I'd better be off for a wee bit o' celebration on Sirius's and my behalf." **(1)**

He nodded curtly at Lily and Bella then went and dislodged Sirius from the abandoned bag of Bertie Bott's Beans he'd happen to find under an armchair before the two of them thunder up the stairs.

"How could you agree to be on a team with those two on it?" demanded Lily after James and Sirius had disappeared. "I can't believe this!"

"Why?" asked Bella, shocked by Lily's cold tone.

"Because—because it's Black and Potter!" said Lily somewhat lamely. "I just don't see why you'd put me—yourself through this!"

"You know everything doesn't have to be about your silly feud with Potter!" snapped Bella. "Sometimes some things are more important!"

"Like a stupid sport on bloody broomsticks?" retorted Lily. "I didn't think you were one to put a hobby before friendship!"

Bella clenched her hands into fists, terribly frustrated. "This is not about me choosing Quidditch over my friendship with you! This about you making a big thing over nothing!"

"_Nothing_?" breathed Lily hotly. "The fact that he'll ruin my life even further through this is _nothing_?"

"How, Lily? How is Potter going to ruin your life because he and I are on the same Quidditch team, huh?" asked Bella furiously.

"I don't know! But he will!" Lily replied angrily.

Bella sighed. "Lily, you just can't understand why the fact that I'm actually playing Quidditch is more important than who I'm forced to play with."

"Why can't I understand? Do enlighten me!"

Bella shifted uncomfortably. "Well Lily, because you're a Muggle-born."

Lily gasped, her face contorted with rage. "Because I'm a _Muggle-born_?"

"Don't take it like that," murmured Bella. "It's just… I've loved Quidditch all my life, and _finally_, I can have something to show for that! Did you know I was the only girl who tried out for Beater? And _I _made it! _I _made it!" Her voice wavered slightly. "Haven't you ever wanted something so badly that it hurt? That's what Quidditch is to me, Lily—something deep in my bones. Can't you understand that?"

Lily merely scowled.

"Forget it," sighed Bella. "I'm going to bed. G'night."

* * *

Remus was woken from fitful dreams by the sound of his bed hangings being yanked back, a large thump, and the air suddenly rushing out of his lungs. He gave a strangled gasp and threw James's idiotic grinning form off him and onto the floor. James gave a yelp of pain, and Remus was pleased when a similar yelp came from Peter's direction. 

"I take it you made the team then?" grumbled Remus, staring bleary-eyed down at James. "Or did you and Sirius just suddenly get the urge to act like complete dolts? I mean, more dolt-like than usual."

James merely grumbled and rubbed a bruise on his elbow. Whether it was from the Quidditch tryouts or from Remus tossing him to the ground, he wasn't sure. All he knew was that it _hurt_.

Just then, both Sirius and Peter appeared on the other side of the bed. Peter looked slightly panicky and was shooting angry glares at Sirius, who looked gleeful and full of boundless energy.

Not a good sign that James and Sirius were in the mood to simply go to sleep after their successful tryouts.

"So…" said Remus, picking at a loose thread on his pajamas and pretending to be oblivious to the gleam in James and Sirius's eyes. "Can I go back to sleep now?"

"Well, we were thinking that some sort of _celebration_ is in order," said James evasively. "After all, tomorrow is only Sunday. We can afford a bit of merriment."

Remus groaned and buried his face in his pillow. "I was afraid you were going to say that."

"Come _on_, Remmy," moaned Sirius, tugging at Remus's arm, "you're so boring!"

"I am not _boring_!" snapped Remus. "I am _tired_!"

"Well that changes everything!" gasped Sirius, pretending to be astonished.

James put a hand to his chin, thinking for a moment before saying, "Would it change your mind if I said I thought I'd discovered where the kitchens are?"

"_What_?" exclaimed Remus, bolting up from his bed. "When? How?"

"Overheard Wolcosh telling the horrible Slytherin Head Boy Norrington on the first day back," murmured James, stifling a yawn. "Seems she doesn't expect the git to abuse the privilege, but I've seen him sneaking down that way twice this week."

"Why didn't you tell us earlier?" hissed Peter, jumping excitedly. "We've been back for more than a week!"

James grinned wickedly. "I didn't think we'd had an appropriate occasion to visit the kitchens yet."

"Appropriate occasion?" said Sirius indignantly. "What _isn't_ an appropriate occasion to get food?"

"Yeah, I mean, were you just going to keep this a _secret _from us if you didn't make the team?" gasped Remus, feigning horror.

James looked as if he was beginning to regret telling them about the kitchens.

"I am shocked, Jamesie!" moaned Sirius as if James had mortally wounded him. "Shocked to my very—"

"Alright!" said James, rather exasperated. "Let's just go!"

* * *

After all four boys had hurriedly dressed and James had grabbed the Invisibility Cloak and thrown it over the lot of them, they tiptoed silently down seven flights of stairs to the Entrance Hall. 

"This way," hissed James, motioning toward a door to the right of the main staircase.

Peter pushed the door open and winced as it creaked. The four boys trudged down the corridor until James stopped suddenly in front of a painting of a large bowl of fruit.

"This is it," breathed James, smiling up at the painting and quickly scanning the corridor for any sign of any wandering ghosts, Filch, or Peeves. "Tickle the pear," he ordered Remus, who was the closest to the painting.

"Tickle the _what_?" exclaimed Remus, rather startled.

"Tickle the pear," repeated James.

"Why?" asked Remus suspiciously. "Last time you told me to mess with one of the painting, it ended up shouting insults at me for a week!"

James grinned wickedly. "That _was_ a rather funny—"

"Oh bugger," groaned Sirius, pushing past Remus, "if you two are going to stand here forever and argue over why or why not Remmy should be tickling a bloody pear, I'll do it myself insults or not!"

With that, he reached up and tickled the pear, which gave a loud chuckle that echoed down the corridor and turned into a door handle.

"Hope no one heard that," murmured Peter as Sirius grasped the door handle and silently pushed the door open.

The boys paraded down a long staircase and ended up in a large, stone room bedecked with every necessity needed to cook a proper meal.

They were just noticing the four large tables that seemed about the same size and in the same position as the House tables in the Great Hall when high voice squeaked, "Is something there? Nixie is sure she heard someone…"

A bat-eared house elf stepped appeared from behind one of the large tables.She was dressed in a tea towel stamped with the Hogwarts crest that was worn like a toga. The elf looked rather frightened as she stared through the four boys and up the stairs.

With a silent agreement, all four boys flung the Invisibility Cloak off themselves, and Nixie gave a loud shriek as they appeared, seemingly out of thin air.

"Nixie?" called another elf voice. "Is you alright?"

"Nixie is alright," said the elf, though her eyes were still rather wide and frightened-looking. "It is students! Boys!"

"Boys?" asked the voice questioningly, and another house elf rushed out from around a corner. It stared at the four Marauders, its gaze stern. "Most boys is being in bed at night," it said disapprovingly. "Perry knows that Master Dumbledore would not like this…"

"They is not hurting anything!" retorted Nixie, glaring at the other elf. She turned to the four boys who had been standing quietly, wondering what they would do now that they had reached the kitchens. "Is you boys hungry?"

"Food?" asked Sirius hopefully.

The elf nodded, and they all happily agreed to a bit of a snack, ignoring the harsh frown on Perry's face.

'A bit of a snack' was an understatement. The Marauders soon found themselves seated at a small wooden table with a large plate of delectable pastries in front of them and bottles of Butterbeer in their hands.

"Mmm…" murmured James contently, leaning back in his chair as he wolfed down half his pastry in mere seconds. "Excellent nosh, Nixie."

The elf merely smiled knowingly and went to shoo Perry away, so he would stop sending glowers their way. When she returned, she said tentatively, "Perry is not happy, but he says if you insists, you is allowed to come get food from the kitchens whenever you likes."

"Really?" said Sirius, a hint of glee in his voice, and his three friends groaned, knowing they'd never get him out of the kitchens now unless they bound and gagged him.

"Really," said Nixie firmly. "But now it is long past time for boys to be asleep." She shooed them toward the stairs. "What is your names so Nixie is addressing you properly if you returns?"

"James Potter."

"Sirius Black."

"Remus Lupin."

"Peter Pettigrew."

Nixie nodded and smiled. "Mr. Potter, Mr. Black, Mr. Lupin, Mr. Pettigrew, Nixie is expecting you back very soon."

The boys nodded to her, threw the Invisibility Cloak over themselves, and scurried up the stairs. But not without Sirius dragging them back to grab the last few pastries first.

* * *

I know it's short; no one remind me! Anyway I'll attempt to get a much longer, much more fulfilling chapter up sometime in in the future! Hopefully near future! **E.D.J.**


	29. A Diagnosis of Spattergroit

**Disclaimer**- I own copies of all the books including U.K. versions of GoF, OoP, and HBP in addition to the U.S. versions, but sadly I don't own a scrap of the actual characters. Though I really would like to own Remus Lupin. Mmm, Remus.

**Authoress's Note**- Erm ... I'm not going to be murdered am I? I last updated this in March, and it's now July ... wow. I'm completely awful. Well, it case anyone's been wondering what I've been up to for the last four months I finished my fanfiction Summer with the Arrogant Prat, edited a bit on this one, have spent way too much time over on livejournal, passed my finals, made some progress on my novel-in-the-works, wrote a one-shot for The Great Break's Scrivenshaft Challenge (I'll probably post it here when the winners are announced), generally wasted the first month of summer, and have just returned from a two week jaunt around England, Scotland, and Ireland! Oh and I also finished Half-Blood Prince. Excellent.

Well, as I can't say I've been too busy to work on fanfiction as I really haven't, we'll just say I've been rather neglectful of it as I'm not really as dedicated to FF dot net as I used to be. If you haven't seen the note I wrote on my author page, I'm a faithful member of The Great Break movement, and as the new archive is almost here, I've been contemplating whether I should make the complete crossover, meaning I abandon this account, and dedicate myself entirely to this new, fairer archive. I would of course leave a link on my author's page for all of you to find me, but still, I don't know yet. **E.D.J.**

**Dedicated reviewers I heart thee!**

**Black Emerald Dawn**- Well, seeing as Sirius is present and accounted for in this chapter, I'd have to say that they did eventually remove Sirius from the kitchens, though I hear a lot of kicking, screaming, and jinxes were involved. ;-)

**Auramistealia**- Ah yes, I found the name Nixie on some name website. Apparently it means "water sprite" in Old German, which is really connected to house elves too much but eh. Yes, poor James having to deal with Lily's temper; that's got to be awful to be up against.

**ThelovelyladyLily**- Cool! A kid called Remmy! What's his real name? I'm glad you enjoyed the tickle the pear scene as much as I did.

**you-don't-understand**- Nope, real name's not Elladora, though I do like my true name quite a lot. James is awesome, though Remus has come to be number one in MY heart. (giggles)

**Harry Lvr-** Oh darn, I bet I'm getting rotten food from Oz thrown at me after four months of no updates on Seven Years of Marauding!

**MeadowRunner-** Oh that's alright; not everyone frequents the Lexicon as much as I do (A LOT). I'm glad you liked Nixie and chapter twenty-eight!

**GinnyGin-** I'd been wondering where you wandered off to. I'm glad to know you're alive! And feel free to take your time reading all the updates you missed.

**Reader4ever- **Thanks for the reviews! I don't know if it's always the fifth-year prefects who lead the first-years up. Hmm. Doesn't Percy do it a lot when he's at school though? Hmm. I can't remember. Oh well. Let's just say it's possible that the routine could have changed in the last twenty years.

**goth hamster**- The best? Why thank you!

**FioreHacker**- Thank you for the wonderful review!

**TonksIsMyHero-** Adorable? Thanks! Oh yes, Remus will definitely mature over time.

* * *

**Ch. 29- A Diagnosis of Spattergroit**

October thirty-first found Hogwarts in an uproar. Not only was it Halloween, but the first Quidditch game of the season, Gryffindor versus Hufflepuff—and consequently James and Sirius's first ever Quidditch match—was occurring.

And Remus Lupin was nowhere to be found.

"Are you sure you checked the library again?" Sirius demanded, his brand-new scarlet robes flung over his arm as he peered under all the dormitory beds once more.

"YES!" said James, his tone impatient. "And the greenhouses, the common room, the dungeons, and the Quidditch pitch!"

"He's not in the Astronomy Tower or the Great Hall!" Peter announced tiredly as he walked in the door. "No one's seen him since before dinner last night. He's just vanished!"

"Let's look at this logically," said James, trying to remain the voice of calm as a bubble of nervous apprehension welled up in his chest. "He told _us_ he was going to the library to do some Charms homework instead of going to dinner. Did anyone see him in the library last night, Pete?"

Peter slowly shook his head.

"We all went to bed, assuming he was still studying in the common room or something, but we woke up, and he still wasn't back …"

"And we haven't seen him since!" Sirius finished despairingly, slumping down on his bed and groaning.

"If I was Remus, and my friends were having trouble finding me, where would I be?" Peter mused absently.

Suddenly, Sirius's eyes widened, and he breathed, "The Hospital Wing."

"But I checked …" James trailed off. "Oops."

The three boys bolted out of their dormitory, through the common room where Riona O'Callaghan barked, "Black! Potter! Changing rooms in fifteen minutes!", and then down innumerable flights of stairs before they arrived panting at the door of the Hospital Wing, which Peter flung open, and they thundered inside.

They searched the beds but besides a fifth-year Slytherin boy with a colorful Fwooper-feather quill wedged up his left nostril and a third-year Ravenclaw girl whose skin was a mottled green (and when James looked closely her hands were webbed as well), Remus was nowhere to be found.

As they turned to go, Peter suddenly shouted, "Wait!" and hurried over to a bed at the far end of the ward that had thick flowery curtains drawn around it, shielding the bed from view.

Sirius and James exchanged a doubtful look but followed Peter. With an intake of breath, Peter yanked back the curtains and gasped.

There was Remus sleeping soundly, a trickle of dark blood running down his brow. But that was the least of it: there were dark circles under his eyes, deep scratches covering his entire face, and blood speckling his pajamas where it had soaked through—obviously from where more wounds were hiding.

"What happened to him?" Peter asked, his voice scared and horrified.

"He looks like he got attacked by something," James breathed, aghast.

Just then, Remus's eyelids snapped open, and he stared at them without comprehending for a moment. A low growl sounded deep in his throat before he shook his head as if to clear it and then took a deep intake of breath, a fearful look appearing on his scratched face.

"What happened, Rem?" Sirius whispered. "You're all bloody."

"I'm sick," Remus croaked shakily, as if his voice had forgotten how to work properly.

"With _what_?" James said, wide-eyed, staring disbelievingly at the blood stains dotting his friend's pajamas and wondering what sort of illness had strange symptoms like bloody scratches.

"Nothing out of the ordinary," Remus replied stoutly. "I'm fine."

"There's blood running down your face!" Peter squeaked. "That's not normal!"

Remus wiped a hand over his face and winced at the smear of read across it.

"Oh," he said faintly. "Madam Pomfrey'll fix that up in a minute. I'm fine. Really."

His friends still continued to stare at him until Madam Pomfrey bustled in, alerted by the sounds of voices around her isolated patient's bed.

"What do you think you three are doing here?" she demanded, eyeing them beadily. "Mr. Lupin needs his rest!"

"What the bloody hell's wrong with him?" Sirius asked, his voice shaking.

Madam Pomfrey looked confused and looked from Remus to Sirius and back again.

"Oh the blood and scratches!" she exclaimed, realizing. "Why that's nothing a bit of Healing and Blood-Replenishing Potions can't fix up. Usually. It's really quite normal in his case."

"And what precisely does he have a case of?" James said, a hint of worry still evident in his voice.

"Hasn't he—?" Madam Pomfrey looked over her shoulder at Remus, who shot her a pleading glance. "OH, it's, well, it's … spattergroit," she fumbled, naming a skin affliction that made one become "grossly disfigured and pockmarked". It's only remedy was said to be standing naked in a barrel of eels' eyes at the full moon with a frog liver tied around your throat, but every good Healer knew a good dose of haggis usually did the trick—a reason why no one from Scotland was every found afflicted with the condition.

"Spattergroit?" James repeated.

"Yes," she said steadily. "But it's really nothing I can't handle. You needn't worry about Mr. Lupin in the slightest. I'm sure he'll be back making trouble with the rest of you by dinnertime."

"Our first Quidditch match is in five minutes!" Sirius protested, and Remus chewed his lip at the bad timing of his illness. "He's supposed to be there cheering James and me on!"

"I'm afraid he'll have to miss it," she said, a note of finality in her voice. "He shouldn't be out of bed."

All four boys groaned—three in disappointment and one in sheer pain.

"Potion time, Mr. Lupin," Madam Pomfrey positively sang in response, and she produced three or four sinister-looking bottles from her apron pocket. "Shoo, you three! Out!" She bustled Peter, James, and Sirius out of the ward, and with a snap, pulled the curtains shut once more, hiding her and Remus from view.

The three boys stared at each other, bewildered, before leaving the Hospital Wing, feet dragging.

"Spattergroit," Sirius repeated, trying the word on his tongue, brow furrowed. "What the hell is that?"

"Do you think it's contagious?" Peter asked anxiously, examining the palms of his hands as if he expected them to break out in purple spots any moment now. "I feel itchy. Do you feel itchy?"

"You accidentally spilled that packet of itching powder in your trunk last night, mate," James replied matter-of-factly.

"Oh yeah," said Peter, scratching vigorously at his neck. "Great," he added flatly. "Another three hours like this until it wears off." He rubbed at his ankles, which were already raw and red.

"Stop it!" Sirius said sternly, pushing Peter's hands away from scratching his skin. "You'll only make it worse!"

Peter huffed and folded his arms over his chest in an effort not to scratch. He lasted less than a minute before he was scraping his nails over his forearms again.

Sirius and James just sighed and shook their heads. He'd learn.

"Quidditch pitch?" James suggested resignedly to Sirius.

"Yeah, I suppose."

The three boys hurried outside, panic filling their stomachs at the sight of how empty the Entrance Hall was. Sirius and James said hurried goodbyes to Peter, who enthusiastically wished them both luck, and bolted for the Gryffindor changing rooms.

* * *

Lily and Bella weren't speaking. Well, Bella had tried, but she'd received nothing more than an angry glower from Lily on every occasion. Emmeline had adopted an "I don't even want to know" attitude and asked them no questions just chattered excitedly as the three girls made their way over the school grounds. 

"Have you be reading up about Quidditch, Lily?" Emmeline asked.

"Yes," said Lily, and her face lightened a bit from the dark frown she'd been wearing all day. "There's the Quaffle, the Golden Snitch, and Blooders—"

"Bludgers," Bella corrected acidly out of the corner of her mouth, tightening her grip on her broomstick.

Lily cleared her throat and continued loudly, "As I was saying, there's the Quaffle, the Golden Snitch, and _Bludgers_," she gave Bella a scathing look, "and the players are Chasers, Beaters, Keeper, and Seeker. Is that right?"

"It's the basic jist," said Emmeline as they reached the pitch. "Well, good luck, Bella!" she exclaimed and with an exasperated sight at the tension present in the air, grabbed Lily's arm and hurried up the stands.

Bella hurried to the Gryffindor changing rooms and quietly slipped inside, hoping no one would notice she was a bit late. Thankfully, Sirius Black and James Potter thundered in after her, drawing Riona's wrath fully onto them.

"Late!" Riona said shrilly, straightening her scarlet robes on her shoulders. "Do you have any idea how selfish it is to put the entire game in jeopardy just because you two only decided to wander in at your leisure?"

"Sorry, sorry," Sirius and James muttered, pulling robes over their heads.

"And where were you?" Riona demanded, foot tapping.

"We were searching for our friend Remus Lupin," replied Sirius, straightening up. "We hadn't seen him since last night, you see, and we were worried."

"And we were right to be concerned," James added. "He's in the Hospital Wing."

Riona huffed and merely said curtly, "Don't let it happen again, alright?"

The boys nodded solemnly.

"And now that's everyone's present and accounted for," Riona took a quick scan of the room. "Everyone suited up? Good. Let's play Quidditch."

The seven Gryffindor players strode out confidently and received a roar of approval from the wall of scarlet and gold up in the stands.

"And welcome to this year's first Quidditch match, Gryffindor versus Hufflepuff!" called a loud male voice through a megaphone. "I'm Bowen Radcliffe, six-year Ravenclaw, six foot one, devilishly handsome if any of you ladies are interested …"

"Radcliffe, please," came Professor McGonagall's strained voice. "The commentary."

"Ah, right you are, Professor!" said Bowen cheerfully. "And here's the Gryffindor team now! They're looking nice and confident—just wait until Ravenclaw gets a hold of you lot! I _know_, Professor, the commentary! I give you Chasers Owens, Callaway, and—new on the team this year—Potter! And then there's returning Beater Addison and his new partner Meadows! She's a tiny thing if you ask me, but rumor has it she's quite handy with that bat of hers! I think a few second-year boys have the marks to prove it! And then there's new Gryffindor Keeper Sirius Black! Aren't he and Potter ringleaders of that little gang of midget pranksters?"

There was a loud scrambling over the megaphone before Radcliffe said loudly, "Fine, fine! Apparently, folks, 'midgets' is not deemed an appropriate term for the younger set here at Hogwarts. Please Obliviate it from your memories while I announce last but certainly not least, the lovely Captain and Seeker O'Callaghan!"

While Radcliffe enthusiastically announced the members of the Hufflepuff Quidditch team (he rambled on about how he thought one of the Chasers fancied him for a good three minutes before McGonagall had the sense to tug the megaphone away from him and finish the commentary herself), Riona turned a critical eye on her teammates and barked last minute instructions at them.

"Black, remember to concentrate on your position in front of the hoops. Sometimes you're drifting to the left."

Sirius nodded.

"Chasers, keep that Hawkshead Attacking Formation in mind; an opportunity might present itself."

Aubri, Shev, and James nodded vigorously.

"Addison, Meadows," Riona turned to her two Beaters, a wry grin on her face. "Kill them."

After a few minutes, the fairly new Flying instructor Madam Hooch, who was refereeing the game, called," Captains, shake hands please."

Riona and the Hufflepuff captain Malcolm Finley—a surprisingly short sixth year who had hardly more than an inch or two on Riona—clasped hands and nodded curtly to each other.

"On my whistle then," said Madam Hooch, scooping the Quaffle from near her feet with one hand and raising her whistle to her lips with the other.

She blew two short blasts, and the fourteen players kicked off simultaneously.

"And Hufflepuff Chaser Worth has the Quaffle!" Radcliffe roared. "Worth to Evers! Intercepted by Owens! And he's streaking down the pitch—nice Bludger dodge there, Shev! He shoots, and it's saved by Hufflepuff Keeper Sinclair!"

Sirius swore not very quietly from his position by the goalposts at the opposite end of the pitch as he listened intently to the commentary.

"And the Hufflepuff Chasers are making there way back down the pitch, and it looks as if this will be new Keeper Black's first demonstration of his talents …"

Sirius tried to ignore the commentary, a trickle of sweat running down the back of his neck as Evers rocketed down the pitch towards him.

"Come on, Sirius!" James bellowed.

As if in slow motion, Evers threw the Quaffle, and Sirius dove in front of the right hoop. He let out a gasp of relief at the sight of the scarlet ball clutched in his fingertips. He hauled himself back onto his broomstick, as he'd only been clinging to it by his left leg, and let out a cheer.

"And a spectacular save by Black!" Radcliffe shouted, and loud cheers came from the Gryffindor section.

* * *

"THIS IS AMAZING!" Lily shouted to Emmeline over the din as the score became sixty-fifty, Hufflepuff. 

"Do you understand what's going on?" Emmeline asked warily.

Lily paused for a moment to think. "Well, kind of! I'm getting the hang of it!"

Just then, James got hold of the Quaffle and rocketed toward the opponent's goal posts. As he drew nearer and ready to aim, everyone in the stands quieted, holding their breath.

Everyone except Lily who, oblivious to the silence around her, bellowed, "Potter, if you don't get this next goal, I'm going to kick your arse!"

Everyone turned to stare at her as her voice echoed across the silent pitch.

Lily turned bright red and attempted to hide beneath her seat.

Meanwhile, James heard Lily's bellow and stopped in midair, nearly dropping the Quaffle. Was that Lily Evans? And was she cheering him on in a twisted, life-threatening sort of way? Odd.

Realizing he was in the middle of match and also the one holding the Quaffle with three opponent Chasers headed his way, James took Lily's advice, aimed, and threw the Quaffle through the center hoop with a loud clang.

"And the game's tied sixty-sixty!" Radcliffe's voice rang out. "Callaway's just intercepted the Quaffle from Worth and …"

The commentary trailed off, and James whirled around just in time to see Aubri take a Bludger in the mouth and crumple over the front of her broomstick, blood pouring down her chin, and the Quaffle fell slowly through the air, forgotten.

"And Gryffindor Captain O'Callaghan calls a time out as one of her Chasers is injured by a Bludger from Hufflepuff Beater Finley!"

Madam Hooch blew a blast on her whistle, and five Gryffindor players smoothly landed while Shev and Aubri had a bumpier landing as he had Aubri clutching on to him with one hand and her broom with the other.

Madam Hooch hurried over and eyed the blood pouring down Aubri's scarlet robes critically.

"That looks like a broken jaw," she said at last. "She can't play like that."

Aubri tried to protest, but the effort made her gasp in pain. She was already looking woozy from blood loss.

Professor McGonagall had since hurried down from the commentator's box and said gently, "I'll take her up to the castle, Riona."

"But the game!" Riona exclaimed. "We're a player short!"

"Catch the Snitch then," said McGonagall simply, and with that, she took Aubri by the arm and slowly started off the pitch.

Riona shook her head and smiled. "I'll catch the Snitch then!" she called after her Head of House.

"Are you ready then?" said Madam Hooch, and Riona nodded.

Everyone rose back up into the air, and the game resumed. The only problem was now that the Hufflepuff Seeker had had a good five minutes to search for the Snitch already.

Sirius watched as Riona scanned the pitch for a glint of something gold, and then suddenly, the Hufflepuff Seeker Irving dove toward Bella, and Sirius saw a flash of gold fluttering above her head.

Bella let out a small scream at the sight of the Seeker charging at her, and she pulled her broom upward to avoid a collision. Luckily, Irving paused for a moment to make sure Bella was out of the way, giving Riona a chance to swoop and grab the fluttering Snitch right in front of him.

"And O'Callaghan has caught the Snitch!" Bowen Radcliffe roared into the megaphone. "Gryffindor wins two hundred and ten to sixty!"

Cheers rang out and chants of "RIONA! RIONA!" rose over the pitch, and the rest of the Gryffindor rocketed over to hug her and praise Irving's sheer stupidity. He would not be a very popular person in the Hufflepuff common room tonight.

* * *

Yes, the Hufflepuffs won't be very happy, will they? (grins) I'm hoping this gains a bit of forgiveness for my absence for the last four months! Much love,** E.D.J.**  



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